Pedestrian Crossings - 06: Black, white and all the gray in between. [DBSK; JaeMin; PG]
title: Pedestrian Crossings - 06: Black, white and all the gray in between.
author: yumeyana
fandom: dbsk
pairing: jaejoong x changmin (jaechun, hosu, yunjae, yoosu)
rating/genre: PG / drama, angst, sap, romance, humor
chapter: 6 of 9
summary: Feelings are laid-out in the open...at least in their journals. YunHo confuses JunSu; YooChun finds out what YunHo meant by what he said. ChangMin misses JaeJoong and JaeJoong tries to balance two worlds... and doesn't entirely succeed.
Previous Chapters can be found here.
[crossposted at _starcandy and at hug______.]
Author’s Notes: This chapter will be written in journal/diary style and will be told through the eyes of all the members. I hope I won’t get you too confused. ^^
Disclaimers: None of the Dong Bang Shin Ki boys are mine no matter how much I wish they would be. The events below are purely a figment of my over-active imagination. The plot is mine.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pedestrian Crossings
06 : Black, white and all the gray in between.
It’s been two thousand one hundred ninety days since I first met YunHo hyung~! ^^ Wait. Year 2000 is a leap year, right? So, that should be two thousand one hundred ninety one days! Hehe. That’s six years; six years of being with him, basking in his warmth. Hahaha. I talk as if YunHo hyung and I have something going on.
Hm. I wish.
Don’t tell anyone, ok? I can’t have any of them knowing that YunHo hyung is… very special to me.
Well, HyukJae knows. But he’s my best friend and he’s not in the band so he’s not counted.
Anyway, I hope we can spend more days together. YunHo hyung and I. And of course, the whole Dong Bang Shin Ki! Hwaiting~!!
JunSu
*
There’s something wrong with YooChun hyung. I don’t know what it is but I know that something is bothering him so much that he’s been avoiding everyone whenever he’s asked about it. Well, except YunHo hyung because he has never asked. Hm. Could it be that something bad happened between them when we were in Bora Bora? Hm.
I’m being a little too nosy. JaeJoong hyung will hit me if he hears me like this.
Hehe. JaeJoong hyung…
ChangMin
*
I…
I don’t know what I should feel first.
I hate him for telling me to get my hands off JunSu when I’m not doing anything but being there for Su! And why is he so much against it? It’s not like that he cares for Su the way he cares for JaeJoongie…
Or. I could be wrong.
HE LIKES JUNSU AS WELL?!
Aish. And I thought I had complicated feelings.
Micky
*
I can’t understand myself.
I don’t know why I told YooChun to stay away from JunSu when he’s obviously just being a friend. Clingy and overly touchy, yes, but a friend nonetheless. But… had it been ChangMin, I wouldn’t mind. But JunSu…
JunSu is… oh, God, I can’t believe how selfish I am.
YunHo
*
I liked Bora Bora. Really beautiful and warm-I loved it!
Hm. I should’ve brought my camera with me then. There were many memories I’d like to put in film or record with my DigiCam but I forgot to bring it. T.T
ChangMin and I had fun; I like ChangMin’s company very much. I feel… comfortable and special when I’m with him. I don’t know why but I like it. I like being with him.
I used to be like that with YunHo, I remember. He’s like sunshine-warm and bright. But lately, he seems torn between two emotions. There are times he’s a tad too possessive to the point of forgetting that we’re Dong Bang Shin Ki now and not just JaeJoong and YunHo. Yet there are times when he seems hesitant to approach me… I don’t know. I don’t seem to understand YunHo lately.
And. There’s something wrong with YooChun. Something I can’t read.
JunSu… Su’s been a little happy lately. And I don’t know why.
At least with ChangMin, I know why the kid’s been all smiles. Hehe.
And now he’s calling me. Again.
Gotta feed my baby. Teehee. He’ll get my head if he ever gets to read this. XD!!
Jae
**
“Smile for me, JunSu yah.”
WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY THAT?!
JunSu
Sorry. I was talking about YunHo hyung.
Su
*
We’re back in Japan. My Japanese has been slowly improving. And by slowly, I do mean ‘slowly’. XD
I haven’t really talked to YunHo hyung about that little warning. It’s as if we’ve decided that we’d rather not discuss it. I haven’t kept my hands to myself, though; I like seeing JunSu squirm then lean into that loose hug I give him. It makes him forget that YunHo hyung is looking elsewhere.
Ha. Bet ‘yah he doesn’t know that I know.
JunSu is… easy to read. Heck, even ChangMin knows that JunSu is in love with YunHo hyung. Oops. Not supposed to say it. Hehehehe.
But the thing is, leader sshi doesn’t seem to know that he’s got Su on a leash. And that Jae hyung is… too hard to hold onto because…
Ack. Need to go. Manager hyung is calling for another Japanese lesson. Aish.
Micky
*
I hate ChangMin! He’s not supposed to make my JaeJoong smile like that!
YunHo
*
I think I need time with YunHo.
Jae
*
I miss JaeJoong hyung. I want him back.
He’s been spending more time with YunHo hyung ever since we came back home. I don’t know why-is he guilty for spending more time with me?-but it’s beginning to make the air around the house feel very heavy. JunSu hyung has been locking himself inside the work station and I can’t even work there. I have no choice but to bring my laptop outside and work inside the bedroom. YooChun hyung is either always playing the piano, always composing, and it’s always a very sad song or trying to get JunSu hyung out of the room.
And JaeJoong hyung and YunHo hyung are always hanging out. Somewhere.
The only time I see them not together is when YunHo hyung is with YooChun hyung, practicing their lines for their banjun drama. And it’s only then when JaeJoong hyung sits on my bed and plays with my hair.
I don’t like this. I feel as if I’m losing JaeJoong hyung.
ChangMin
**
I can’t understand YunHo hyung. There are times I can see… feel that he likes me. And yet, when I see him with JaeJoong hyung, I feel as if those moments I have with him are only in dreams. Are they?
YooChun’s been doing his best to make me feel better and I love him for it. But… he’s still not YunHo.
JunSu
*
I hate YunHo hyung. I hate him for making JunSu sad, ChangMin confused and JaeJoong hyung torn. I hate him because JunSu loves him and I’m here, trying my best to make sure that even though I’m not YunHo, he’ll still feel loved. I can’t make ChangMin talk; I’ve been too busy with First Love. And JaeJoong hyung… I know I can’t tell him what to do; I have to make him figure things out by himself.
But it’s taking too long.
Sometimes, I just want to hit YunHo hyung the way I hit him in First Love.
But I can’t. We’re Dong Bang Shin Ki. And that comes before anything else.
Micky
*
We’re going to have a second album-how great is that?
It’s supposed to make me happy but I’m not that happy. Something is wrong at home, some thing I might’ve had a hand on. Is it because I keep running around, making sure I’m with YunHo and I’m with ChangMin as well? JunSu hasn’t really been talking to me and YooChun always looks at me as if I need to do something and I don’t know what it is-it’s frustrating.
Sometimes, I just want ChangMin to hold me close the way he did when the waves engulfed us in Bora Bora. Or I wish YunHo would just hold my hand the way he’s always used to before. I feel safe when they do that; I feel at ease with them.
I don’t know.
Jae
*
We’ve been very busy lately and I think it’s taking a toll on all of us. JunSu’s been quiet; YooChun’s been sleeping more and more when he gets the opportunity to do so. ChangMin’s eating has increased; JaeJoong has been practicing non-stop. And I’ve been trying to get them all to breathe.
But, am I being leader enough?
I feel like I’m not doing a good job being leader sshi lately. I feel like I’m being selfish. What am I doing? I am failing them and it’s all because-
We’re being called to perform for the high-ups. Wish us luck.
YunHo
*
JaeJoong hyung… JaeJoong hyung suddenly couldn’t move today.
We were performing Rising Sun and then in the middle of the song, he suddenly walked to the corner, dragging his right leg. He had his eyes closed when he sat down on the floor and we just looked at each other but continued to dance. But I-I wanted to stop dancing and rush to his side; I knew… I could feel that something was very wrong.
And I was right.
And then the doctors came and told us they had to bring hyung to a hospital for a complete check-up. JunSu hyung and YunHo hyung had to stay behind because they had to talk to… people. YooChun hyung was crying and JaeJoong hyung kept telling him not to and I… I couldn’t say anything; I just held Jae hyung’s hand.
JunSu hyung and YunHo hyung arrived ten minutes after we arrived at the hospital. JaeJoong hyung was having some tests done and…they were taking too long. When they finally went out of the room where hyung was, he was in a wheelchair and YooChun hyung started to cry even more.
We rushed to his side and just embraced him. I don’t know how we managed to do that but we were all holding JaeJoong hyung. I heard JunSu hyung sniff and YunHo hyung was clearing his throat. YooChun hyung was saying something about me crying but I wasn’t-I’m not crying.
The doctors told us that something was torn in hyung’s right knee. He can’t dance; he can’t walk for long periods of time. He needs to have crutches. He needs to rest. He can have an operation.
And all the while the doctors were telling all these things to us, we held him close. I could feel my heart breaking with every word, with every second but it wasn’t just because of what they were saying.
We were all holding JaeJoong hyung and yet it felt as if he was only holding onto YunHo hyung.
ChangMin
***
tbc.
author: yumeyana
fandom: dbsk
pairing: jaejoong x changmin (jaechun, hosu, yunjae, yoosu)
rating/genre: PG / drama, angst, sap, romance, humor
chapter: 6 of 9
summary: Feelings are laid-out in the open...at least in their journals. YunHo confuses JunSu; YooChun finds out what YunHo meant by what he said. ChangMin misses JaeJoong and JaeJoong tries to balance two worlds... and doesn't entirely succeed.
Previous Chapters can be found here.
[crossposted at _starcandy and at hug______.]
Author’s Notes: This chapter will be written in journal/diary style and will be told through the eyes of all the members. I hope I won’t get you too confused. ^^
Disclaimers: None of the Dong Bang Shin Ki boys are mine no matter how much I wish they would be. The events below are purely a figment of my over-active imagination. The plot is mine.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pedestrian Crossings
06 : Black, white and all the gray in between.
It’s been two thousand one hundred ninety days since I first met YunHo hyung~! ^^ Wait. Year 2000 is a leap year, right? So, that should be two thousand one hundred ninety one days! Hehe. That’s six years; six years of being with him, basking in his warmth. Hahaha. I talk as if YunHo hyung and I have something going on.
Hm. I wish.
Don’t tell anyone, ok? I can’t have any of them knowing that YunHo hyung is… very special to me.
Well, HyukJae knows. But he’s my best friend and he’s not in the band so he’s not counted.
Anyway, I hope we can spend more days together. YunHo hyung and I. And of course, the whole Dong Bang Shin Ki! Hwaiting~!!
JunSu
*
There’s something wrong with YooChun hyung. I don’t know what it is but I know that something is bothering him so much that he’s been avoiding everyone whenever he’s asked about it. Well, except YunHo hyung because he has never asked. Hm. Could it be that something bad happened between them when we were in Bora Bora? Hm.
I’m being a little too nosy. JaeJoong hyung will hit me if he hears me like this.
Hehe. JaeJoong hyung…
ChangMin
*
I…
I don’t know what I should feel first.
I hate him for telling me to get my hands off JunSu when I’m not doing anything but being there for Su! And why is he so much against it? It’s not like that he cares for Su the way he cares for JaeJoongie…
Or. I could be wrong.
HE LIKES JUNSU AS WELL?!
Aish. And I thought I had complicated feelings.
Micky
*
I can’t understand myself.
I don’t know why I told YooChun to stay away from JunSu when he’s obviously just being a friend. Clingy and overly touchy, yes, but a friend nonetheless. But… had it been ChangMin, I wouldn’t mind. But JunSu…
JunSu is… oh, God, I can’t believe how selfish I am.
YunHo
*
I liked Bora Bora. Really beautiful and warm-I loved it!
Hm. I should’ve brought my camera with me then. There were many memories I’d like to put in film or record with my DigiCam but I forgot to bring it. T.T
ChangMin and I had fun; I like ChangMin’s company very much. I feel… comfortable and special when I’m with him. I don’t know why but I like it. I like being with him.
I used to be like that with YunHo, I remember. He’s like sunshine-warm and bright. But lately, he seems torn between two emotions. There are times he’s a tad too possessive to the point of forgetting that we’re Dong Bang Shin Ki now and not just JaeJoong and YunHo. Yet there are times when he seems hesitant to approach me… I don’t know. I don’t seem to understand YunHo lately.
And. There’s something wrong with YooChun. Something I can’t read.
JunSu… Su’s been a little happy lately. And I don’t know why.
At least with ChangMin, I know why the kid’s been all smiles. Hehe.
And now he’s calling me. Again.
Gotta feed my baby. Teehee. He’ll get my head if he ever gets to read this. XD!!
Jae
**
“Smile for me, JunSu yah.”
WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY THAT?!
JunSu
Sorry. I was talking about YunHo hyung.
Su
*
We’re back in Japan. My Japanese has been slowly improving. And by slowly, I do mean ‘slowly’. XD
I haven’t really talked to YunHo hyung about that little warning. It’s as if we’ve decided that we’d rather not discuss it. I haven’t kept my hands to myself, though; I like seeing JunSu squirm then lean into that loose hug I give him. It makes him forget that YunHo hyung is looking elsewhere.
Ha. Bet ‘yah he doesn’t know that I know.
JunSu is… easy to read. Heck, even ChangMin knows that JunSu is in love with YunHo hyung. Oops. Not supposed to say it. Hehehehe.
But the thing is, leader sshi doesn’t seem to know that he’s got Su on a leash. And that Jae hyung is… too hard to hold onto because…
Ack. Need to go. Manager hyung is calling for another Japanese lesson. Aish.
Micky
*
I hate ChangMin! He’s not supposed to make my JaeJoong smile like that!
YunHo
*
I think I need time with YunHo.
Jae
*
I miss JaeJoong hyung. I want him back.
He’s been spending more time with YunHo hyung ever since we came back home. I don’t know why-is he guilty for spending more time with me?-but it’s beginning to make the air around the house feel very heavy. JunSu hyung has been locking himself inside the work station and I can’t even work there. I have no choice but to bring my laptop outside and work inside the bedroom. YooChun hyung is either always playing the piano, always composing, and it’s always a very sad song or trying to get JunSu hyung out of the room.
And JaeJoong hyung and YunHo hyung are always hanging out. Somewhere.
The only time I see them not together is when YunHo hyung is with YooChun hyung, practicing their lines for their banjun drama. And it’s only then when JaeJoong hyung sits on my bed and plays with my hair.
I don’t like this. I feel as if I’m losing JaeJoong hyung.
ChangMin
**
I can’t understand YunHo hyung. There are times I can see… feel that he likes me. And yet, when I see him with JaeJoong hyung, I feel as if those moments I have with him are only in dreams. Are they?
YooChun’s been doing his best to make me feel better and I love him for it. But… he’s still not YunHo.
JunSu
*
I hate YunHo hyung. I hate him for making JunSu sad, ChangMin confused and JaeJoong hyung torn. I hate him because JunSu loves him and I’m here, trying my best to make sure that even though I’m not YunHo, he’ll still feel loved. I can’t make ChangMin talk; I’ve been too busy with First Love. And JaeJoong hyung… I know I can’t tell him what to do; I have to make him figure things out by himself.
But it’s taking too long.
Sometimes, I just want to hit YunHo hyung the way I hit him in First Love.
But I can’t. We’re Dong Bang Shin Ki. And that comes before anything else.
Micky
*
We’re going to have a second album-how great is that?
It’s supposed to make me happy but I’m not that happy. Something is wrong at home, some thing I might’ve had a hand on. Is it because I keep running around, making sure I’m with YunHo and I’m with ChangMin as well? JunSu hasn’t really been talking to me and YooChun always looks at me as if I need to do something and I don’t know what it is-it’s frustrating.
Sometimes, I just want ChangMin to hold me close the way he did when the waves engulfed us in Bora Bora. Or I wish YunHo would just hold my hand the way he’s always used to before. I feel safe when they do that; I feel at ease with them.
I don’t know.
Jae
*
We’ve been very busy lately and I think it’s taking a toll on all of us. JunSu’s been quiet; YooChun’s been sleeping more and more when he gets the opportunity to do so. ChangMin’s eating has increased; JaeJoong has been practicing non-stop. And I’ve been trying to get them all to breathe.
But, am I being leader enough?
I feel like I’m not doing a good job being leader sshi lately. I feel like I’m being selfish. What am I doing? I am failing them and it’s all because-
We’re being called to perform for the high-ups. Wish us luck.
YunHo
*
JaeJoong hyung… JaeJoong hyung suddenly couldn’t move today.
We were performing Rising Sun and then in the middle of the song, he suddenly walked to the corner, dragging his right leg. He had his eyes closed when he sat down on the floor and we just looked at each other but continued to dance. But I-I wanted to stop dancing and rush to his side; I knew… I could feel that something was very wrong.
And I was right.
And then the doctors came and told us they had to bring hyung to a hospital for a complete check-up. JunSu hyung and YunHo hyung had to stay behind because they had to talk to… people. YooChun hyung was crying and JaeJoong hyung kept telling him not to and I… I couldn’t say anything; I just held Jae hyung’s hand.
JunSu hyung and YunHo hyung arrived ten minutes after we arrived at the hospital. JaeJoong hyung was having some tests done and…they were taking too long. When they finally went out of the room where hyung was, he was in a wheelchair and YooChun hyung started to cry even more.
We rushed to his side and just embraced him. I don’t know how we managed to do that but we were all holding JaeJoong hyung. I heard JunSu hyung sniff and YunHo hyung was clearing his throat. YooChun hyung was saying something about me crying but I wasn’t-I’m not crying.
The doctors told us that something was torn in hyung’s right knee. He can’t dance; he can’t walk for long periods of time. He needs to have crutches. He needs to rest. He can have an operation.
And all the while the doctors were telling all these things to us, we held him close. I could feel my heart breaking with every word, with every second but it wasn’t just because of what they were saying.
We were all holding JaeJoong hyung and yet it felt as if he was only holding onto YunHo hyung.
ChangMin
***
tbc.