a very pleasant night.
i anticipated the possibility of weird, quiet moments. i thought we might not be able to get to know each other further. maybe some back and forth storytelling. pleasant, but with an early goodbye like a sleepy sigh.
i did not expect to lose myself.
he came into my car with a beer in his hand, i got a whiff of his cologne and wondered if i'd ever find myself craving that scent...i handed him an avocado as a gift for being my gracious host and, by alignment of the planets, the last avocado of his fruit bowl was about. to. go. bad.
we went and visited said fruit bowl and...the night was all too perfect for me to ever expect it to be as good again. dopamine levels rose at an exhilarating rate, the very music sang our narrative...and that damn avocado...
it was as if the world, so alien, had at once settled into something recognizable.
yes. freakish happiness. the kind of happiness that makes you wonder if you're not asleep having your nucleus accumben stimulated whilst dreaming pleasantly under the supervision of anonymous doctors. like that friggin' happy.
i refrain from investing these feelings too much into the individual that helped spark them. usually, it's not difficult to take a lovely situation and water it down with rationality. this time, it's no easy task. and, though i do tend to deliberate to keep myself distant and in control...i'm also not so foolish as to blatantly deny my more absurd self.
in this moment, i am utterly infatuated.
i did not expect to lose myself.
he came into my car with a beer in his hand, i got a whiff of his cologne and wondered if i'd ever find myself craving that scent...i handed him an avocado as a gift for being my gracious host and, by alignment of the planets, the last avocado of his fruit bowl was about. to. go. bad.
we went and visited said fruit bowl and...the night was all too perfect for me to ever expect it to be as good again. dopamine levels rose at an exhilarating rate, the very music sang our narrative...and that damn avocado...
it was as if the world, so alien, had at once settled into something recognizable.
yes. freakish happiness. the kind of happiness that makes you wonder if you're not asleep having your nucleus accumben stimulated whilst dreaming pleasantly under the supervision of anonymous doctors. like that friggin' happy.
i refrain from investing these feelings too much into the individual that helped spark them. usually, it's not difficult to take a lovely situation and water it down with rationality. this time, it's no easy task. and, though i do tend to deliberate to keep myself distant and in control...i'm also not so foolish as to blatantly deny my more absurd self.
in this moment, i am utterly infatuated.