My Divine Imaginary Friend
I've been attending Quaker meeting and one of the thoughts that has surfaced for me is that these ppl and other religious ppl gain benefit from listening for inspiration from the light or their belief in a divinity of some sort.
I believe that these are delusions; opiates of the masses; things we tell ourselves to lessen the pain and chaos of reality.
Yet I still see the psychological and motivational benefits of these beliefs.
So I've been playing with the idea of worshipping "my divine imaginary friend" for a few weeks now. It's mostly been an intellectual exercise in pros and cons. One big con being what can I say to someone in the midst of true grief? "May you find comfort from the divine imaginary friend" ...? Ppl would think I was making fun of their grief rather than simply translating how I hear expressions of prayer. And that problem stopped me from exploring further.
But today I'm wrestling with something that I realize Quakers might try to "hold in the light" and I realized I want to try to flesh out the divine imaginary friend concept. I want to be able to hold things in the light.
I know some Quakers see the light simply as their best self... and maybe i will end up there... but I SO miss the god I grew up with.
So here I am. Making my own imaginary god, like all of the founders of religions did. (I'm not saying I'm founding a religion. I'm saying that every religion is based on what ppl imagined. Tho perhaps I am founding a religion for one.)
So what do I want my Divine Imaginary Friend (DIF) to be like? There are so many god concepts to work from. I must say I miss the Christian concepts I grew up with. Abba father = daddy = compassionate loving figure that has the power to protect me and cares about my wounds and well-being. That has a plan that I'm a part of.
What a tempting image.
But I think the dangers of imagining my DIF to be like this are irresponsibly bad. The concept that my DIF has power to affect the world in supernatural ways causes the theodicy problem - why would evil exist in a world where the DIF has power? Also why does the DIF help one person over another?
So I don't think I can imagine a DIF with omnipotence but what about some power? What powers would be valuable without being problematic? a DIF that can affect my mood? Brilliant!
A DIF that can help me think healthier thoughts? Help me focus on whatever would be beneficial to me and my community? Awesome!
A DIF that can affect other ppl's moods? hm....
No. ..I think that's dangerous. ..other than thru me. If I'm clearer and more centered I might be able to help others in small ways. .. tho I do kinda like the sound of "my divine imaginary friend doesn't want you to be unhappy." :)
Which is frankly what I hear when ppl say they are praying for me or whatever. I recognize they want good things for me but don't own it for some reason (maybe they feel powerless?)
Hmmm... that gets me thinking that I might be falling into one of the problems I find with religion which is that it diverts energy away from trying to find real solutions.
I want the motivation and comfort of religion without the negatives (diverting energy, authoritarianism, superiority, close mindedness...)
But the pull of a DIF that can help my psychological state is calling to me...so I think I will go try to spend some time with this idea of my DIF.
ok I'm back
When I left Christianity I remember sitting on a small hill in the backyard and reaching out to god and saying this is the last time i will feel this. It's a delusion and I'm not going to keep deluding myself. But I just felt it again. I now think that I cut off a part of myself. That I'd tied a broken god-concept to that part of myself and when I rejected the broken parts I no longer knew how to connect to that part of myself.
the feeling used to be way stronger. .. it's possible I'm just out of practice. ..it's possible that using the DIF concept just isn't very strong. . but I plan to keep trying.
What I heard/thought is that I have value. Like ants scurrying around gathering info and sharing and just living - I have value as does everyone else. Thank you for bumping into me as you scurry and sharing this existence and maybe some info on where to find good stuff and avoid bad stuff. :)
Is the DIF concept just a crutch for getting in contact with that part of myself? Maybe. But apparently it's working for now.
I'm looking forward to exploring this concept more.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
I believe that these are delusions; opiates of the masses; things we tell ourselves to lessen the pain and chaos of reality.
Yet I still see the psychological and motivational benefits of these beliefs.
So I've been playing with the idea of worshipping "my divine imaginary friend" for a few weeks now. It's mostly been an intellectual exercise in pros and cons. One big con being what can I say to someone in the midst of true grief? "May you find comfort from the divine imaginary friend" ...? Ppl would think I was making fun of their grief rather than simply translating how I hear expressions of prayer. And that problem stopped me from exploring further.
But today I'm wrestling with something that I realize Quakers might try to "hold in the light" and I realized I want to try to flesh out the divine imaginary friend concept. I want to be able to hold things in the light.
I know some Quakers see the light simply as their best self... and maybe i will end up there... but I SO miss the god I grew up with.
So here I am. Making my own imaginary god, like all of the founders of religions did. (I'm not saying I'm founding a religion. I'm saying that every religion is based on what ppl imagined. Tho perhaps I am founding a religion for one.)
So what do I want my Divine Imaginary Friend (DIF) to be like? There are so many god concepts to work from. I must say I miss the Christian concepts I grew up with. Abba father = daddy = compassionate loving figure that has the power to protect me and cares about my wounds and well-being. That has a plan that I'm a part of.
What a tempting image.
But I think the dangers of imagining my DIF to be like this are irresponsibly bad. The concept that my DIF has power to affect the world in supernatural ways causes the theodicy problem - why would evil exist in a world where the DIF has power? Also why does the DIF help one person over another?
So I don't think I can imagine a DIF with omnipotence but what about some power? What powers would be valuable without being problematic? a DIF that can affect my mood? Brilliant!
A DIF that can help me think healthier thoughts? Help me focus on whatever would be beneficial to me and my community? Awesome!
A DIF that can affect other ppl's moods? hm....
No. ..I think that's dangerous. ..other than thru me. If I'm clearer and more centered I might be able to help others in small ways. .. tho I do kinda like the sound of "my divine imaginary friend doesn't want you to be unhappy." :)
Which is frankly what I hear when ppl say they are praying for me or whatever. I recognize they want good things for me but don't own it for some reason (maybe they feel powerless?)
Hmmm... that gets me thinking that I might be falling into one of the problems I find with religion which is that it diverts energy away from trying to find real solutions.
I want the motivation and comfort of religion without the negatives (diverting energy, authoritarianism, superiority, close mindedness...)
But the pull of a DIF that can help my psychological state is calling to me...so I think I will go try to spend some time with this idea of my DIF.
ok I'm back
When I left Christianity I remember sitting on a small hill in the backyard and reaching out to god and saying this is the last time i will feel this. It's a delusion and I'm not going to keep deluding myself. But I just felt it again. I now think that I cut off a part of myself. That I'd tied a broken god-concept to that part of myself and when I rejected the broken parts I no longer knew how to connect to that part of myself.
the feeling used to be way stronger. .. it's possible I'm just out of practice. ..it's possible that using the DIF concept just isn't very strong. . but I plan to keep trying.
What I heard/thought is that I have value. Like ants scurrying around gathering info and sharing and just living - I have value as does everyone else. Thank you for bumping into me as you scurry and sharing this existence and maybe some info on where to find good stuff and avoid bad stuff. :)
Is the DIF concept just a crutch for getting in contact with that part of myself? Maybe. But apparently it's working for now.
I'm looking forward to exploring this concept more.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.