Some thoughts
Recently, I've been having trouble communicating. This is nothing new, but maybe how I'm thinking and feeling about it is progress. Basically, I want people that I care about to be able to share in my life in a real way. A way that can't be achieved by my blogging about such events as, say, today's This American Life bringing up really strong emotions for me. I called someone close to me (in part because I know he listens to This American Life) but somehow in the course of the conversation it never came up. This left me feeling dissatisfied, even though we had a good conversation and I'm happy that I can call this person and talk without feeling like I have to perform for him.
This ties into a similar realization that I really have no desire to write anymore. No updates, no blogging, no stories. I want to live and experience and have people around me to live and experience with me. This farm internship is part of my real life, not a side adventure that can be chronicled with a start and an end with pretty pictures along the way. And I want people to share the adventure with me. I want you all to share the adventure with me. So you can understand me better, so you can feel the excitement that I feel about the snake that lives in the pond and the may apples blossoming and the fact that I can wake up at 7:30 without an alarm and how good that feels. But you all have your own real lives, your own excitements that you want to share with me and I want us to be able to do both and I don't know how to do that. How do normal people do it?
This ties into a similar realization that I really have no desire to write anymore. No updates, no blogging, no stories. I want to live and experience and have people around me to live and experience with me. This farm internship is part of my real life, not a side adventure that can be chronicled with a start and an end with pretty pictures along the way. And I want people to share the adventure with me. I want you all to share the adventure with me. So you can understand me better, so you can feel the excitement that I feel about the snake that lives in the pond and the may apples blossoming and the fact that I can wake up at 7:30 without an alarm and how good that feels. But you all have your own real lives, your own excitements that you want to share with me and I want us to be able to do both and I don't know how to do that. How do normal people do it?