A year and a day
It's exactly a year and a day today that Tara left.
* People said she was weird, but that also meant that she was open-minded in many ways. That I didn't have to act a certain way to be "one of the group" was quite unusual (or "weird"), but it was welcome.
* Having someone who was fascinated by many of things that I enjoy and can keep up with me in discussion. It was novel to feel the freedom to just say X, then have them mention Y and Z (instead of a confused look or hijacking the subject to where the other person wants it to jump elsewhere.)
* One of the few people that has never made any suggestion that I need to be fed or other negative comments about being too thin. She instead brought it up as a point to be admired, as her favorite actors and past relationships were slender as well. ( It reminded me of when I asked KatieSquared years ago why she dated Steve (when he was being a basement troll) and what she saw in him. She just said "He made me feel beautiful." Now I can see what she meant. It's intoxicating.) It's one thing to be liked for knowing things, but to be comfortable in your skin is rare beyond words.
The problem with opening up to someone is that your guts fall out, and that causes a new set of problems that you have no wall for.
But this is how I remember her.
* People said she was weird, but that also meant that she was open-minded in many ways. That I didn't have to act a certain way to be "one of the group" was quite unusual (or "weird"), but it was welcome.
* Having someone who was fascinated by many of things that I enjoy and can keep up with me in discussion. It was novel to feel the freedom to just say X, then have them mention Y and Z (instead of a confused look or hijacking the subject to where the other person wants it to jump elsewhere.)
* One of the few people that has never made any suggestion that I need to be fed or other negative comments about being too thin. She instead brought it up as a point to be admired, as her favorite actors and past relationships were slender as well. ( It reminded me of when I asked KatieSquared years ago why she dated Steve (when he was being a basement troll) and what she saw in him. She just said "He made me feel beautiful." Now I can see what she meant. It's intoxicating.) It's one thing to be liked for knowing things, but to be comfortable in your skin is rare beyond words.
The problem with opening up to someone is that your guts fall out, and that causes a new set of problems that you have no wall for.
But this is how I remember her.