You are always so still. I will never be like you.
The happiness is somewhat overwhelming and pretty well deserved, if I do say so myself.
Happiness.
I've not been this optimistic in, what seems like years. My belly is full of those butterflies that flutter around when receiving a certain phone call or seeing a specific smiling face.
Upon walking into our room on Sunday night after being home for a few days, Delancey said that I looked different. I told her that I felt taller, and she said maybe I grew. Then I told her that I am immensely happy, and she agreed that was the difference--a dfiference she seems to appreciate. I'm not longer mopey and missing my friends and wishing to be in a relationship (thinking it must be better to have someone than no one) and bringing her mood down. I'm happy. And that's that.
Health & Help.
Returning to Aiken seemed to be a very frustrating experience for some time. I spent Thursday morning in half a class, crying in my room, crying in the car, and at an auto repair shop.
The idea of having something terribly wrong health-wise scares me. I tried not to dwell on it when I first found out that the cells needed to be removed, but the day of the removal, it all sank in. There is something wrong with me--something I did to myself. I cried and slowly pulled myself together just enough to walk to my car and drive home crynig some more.
However, my car would not start. Aaron was not home or very helpful. My dad wasn't there to save me and magically fix my car problems. Instead, it was Logan, whome I do not know very well. He jump started my car. I let it charge. I turned off the engine. I tried to start it myself. Failure. I cried more. How was I going to get home in four hours with a car that won't start without the help of my dad or brother??? Again, Logan saved me. He jump started my car again and took me to two auto repair shops, where I then bought a battery. In a sense, Logan filled in hat spot of a big brother figure I've been void of for the past year or so. I feel bad writing this, but it's completely how I feel.
Anyway, thanks to Logan, I made it back in time to Aiken to have the stupid cells frozen off... but the same day, my eye was turning a nice shade of red and looking particularily unhealthy. Luckily, I already had an eye exam scheduled for Friday. It turns out I have another eye infection, which is pretty much healthed as far as I can tell. I still can't see a damn thing because my left eye is healing. My corneas were building up more and more from over-wearing my contacts, and now that I've been taking better care of my eyes, my left cornea is being to shrink, thus my eye sight is getting better... thus my glasses are now too strong for my eyes. Hopefully, everything will be straightened out after another exam this Friday.
Fall Break.
I'm really not sure what my plans are anymore. I will definitely be home Friday and part of Saturday. Delancey may or may not be with me. If she's not, I may stay home all of fall break if my eye hasn't healed all of the way. If she does comoe, we'll definitly leave on Saturday and then go camping with Val and Madison for the remainder of the break.
Making plans is out of the question right bow because I have no clue where I will be or when.... other than in Aiken Friday at an eye exam at 4:45 and with Rian in his studio at some point in time that evening.
This is what's going on in my life right now, and I'm pretty happy with all of it.
Bethany
Happiness.
I've not been this optimistic in, what seems like years. My belly is full of those butterflies that flutter around when receiving a certain phone call or seeing a specific smiling face.
Upon walking into our room on Sunday night after being home for a few days, Delancey said that I looked different. I told her that I felt taller, and she said maybe I grew. Then I told her that I am immensely happy, and she agreed that was the difference--a dfiference she seems to appreciate. I'm not longer mopey and missing my friends and wishing to be in a relationship (thinking it must be better to have someone than no one) and bringing her mood down. I'm happy. And that's that.
Health & Help.
Returning to Aiken seemed to be a very frustrating experience for some time. I spent Thursday morning in half a class, crying in my room, crying in the car, and at an auto repair shop.
The idea of having something terribly wrong health-wise scares me. I tried not to dwell on it when I first found out that the cells needed to be removed, but the day of the removal, it all sank in. There is something wrong with me--something I did to myself. I cried and slowly pulled myself together just enough to walk to my car and drive home crynig some more.
However, my car would not start. Aaron was not home or very helpful. My dad wasn't there to save me and magically fix my car problems. Instead, it was Logan, whome I do not know very well. He jump started my car. I let it charge. I turned off the engine. I tried to start it myself. Failure. I cried more. How was I going to get home in four hours with a car that won't start without the help of my dad or brother??? Again, Logan saved me. He jump started my car again and took me to two auto repair shops, where I then bought a battery. In a sense, Logan filled in hat spot of a big brother figure I've been void of for the past year or so. I feel bad writing this, but it's completely how I feel.
Anyway, thanks to Logan, I made it back in time to Aiken to have the stupid cells frozen off... but the same day, my eye was turning a nice shade of red and looking particularily unhealthy. Luckily, I already had an eye exam scheduled for Friday. It turns out I have another eye infection, which is pretty much healthed as far as I can tell. I still can't see a damn thing because my left eye is healing. My corneas were building up more and more from over-wearing my contacts, and now that I've been taking better care of my eyes, my left cornea is being to shrink, thus my eye sight is getting better... thus my glasses are now too strong for my eyes. Hopefully, everything will be straightened out after another exam this Friday.
Fall Break.
I'm really not sure what my plans are anymore. I will definitely be home Friday and part of Saturday. Delancey may or may not be with me. If she's not, I may stay home all of fall break if my eye hasn't healed all of the way. If she does comoe, we'll definitly leave on Saturday and then go camping with Val and Madison for the remainder of the break.
Making plans is out of the question right bow because I have no clue where I will be or when.... other than in Aiken Friday at an eye exam at 4:45 and with Rian in his studio at some point in time that evening.
This is what's going on in my life right now, and I'm pretty happy with all of it.
Bethany