Springtime Doldrums
Good God my face is oily. And check out the dark circles under my eyes...ug. Why am I even posting this picture?
It’s that time of the semester when I don’t feel like doing anything. I barely have time to breathe. Catching up on schoolwork that I didn’t do while I was sick is making me push myself harder than I would like to. I’m afraid that I’m going to push myself and end up sick again. That’s the last thing that I need right now. I have a 15 page paper due on Thursday, 2-page papers due pretty much every Tuesday and Thursday, a 10 page paper due the 26th, an oral presentation next Thursday along with a 5-6 page paper, a research project that I’m a few weeks behind on and whatever little assignments that my professors decide to throw at me. I also have final exams the 1st-4th of May...that should be enjoyable. Not.
I’ve realized lately that spring and summer remind me how alone I am. I don’t have very many friends that I can call to hang out with out in the sun, strolling around and checking an outdoor mall. I don’t have very many friends that I can ask to hang out with me for my possible “No Boys Allowed 25th Birthday Celebration” in Atlantic City. I don’t have very many friends to call this weekend when I’ll be at home because Ferris is having his boy’s weekend.
I’ve never really been one to care about going out and doing all kinds of crazy and wild things. But it would be nice to be able to call someone and be like “hey, let’s go to the Promenade in Cherry Hill and window shop” or “hey, it’s gorgeous out, let’s go for a walk around the park and then get smoothies”. I guess it’s partially my fault for not keeping in touch with the few friends that I made in high school. On the other hand, high school was almost 7 years ago for me. My friends and I are not the same people that we were then and none of us want to admit it to each other. Our lives have gone in different directions and we just haven’t had time to keep in touch. We don’t have much in common any more, and it’s a shame. We do the “oh, we should hang out sometime” dance, but we know it’s not going to happen. It makes me sad but at the same time it’s to be expected.
I don’t really know how to rectify this situation. The only friend that I’ve made in school this year lives about 45 minutes south of campus, which would put her an hour and a half south of me. She’s also recently married and working two jobs during the summer. I guess if I start working that’ll be a good way to make friends. With my employment history, that’s a very big if. But I guess it’s possible. Other than that, I don’t really know what else to do.
I have no idea what I’m trying to say with this entry. I’ve just had this on my mind for a week or so and I needed to get it out. Hopefully now I can concentrate on writing this paper. I only have 7 more pages to write before Thursday at 3:15. Yay.