holy cow!
stars are lovebrought to you by the isLove Generator
isn't that crazy? i did nothing to alter that answer..weird..
anyways..
i have been like an emotional wreck lately..and it really is so frustrating.
i don't even feel like writing about all of it because i don't need the "i told you so's" so any ass who has that to say can take it and shove it.
but here is some of it..
tuesday was a bad day. i went to j's in the morning to surprise him. it was his day off and i knew he would be sleeping in so i was just going to sleep in with him..well much to my surprise..the worst thing that could have happened..well i guess it could have been worse..but it was bad happened. [i know you read this so no names, but honestly, why would you do that?] i was so angry at jj..and at the other person. sure..nothing happened [i guess..certainly did not look that way though, i am just trying to trust jj] anyways..we argued for a while about it..i walked out..he came after me..i really thought we would break up..i was soo freakin' mad..i mean how much do you have to disrespect someone to do that? i've spent the better part of my life letting people walk on me..take advantage..and that isn't happening anymore. it was wrong. they were wrong. i'm not crazy.
well..somehow we got through that..and we slept..err jj slept..until 3:30..once we were up i wanted to talk more about it..sorry..i wasn't over it. he ended up getting frustrated because he had every right to be the ngry one right? so..i went home..
that evening i called to see if he was still coming over to watch the movie with me..and he said he didn't feel like it.
since then i have not pushed him for anything. if i'm not worth it, i'm not going to beg.
if he loses me..his loss. but i damn sure am not going to be waiting or dealing with stupid shit anymore.
i think he saw me moving on and didn't want that. ultimately he sees himself ending up with me..but he wasn't really ready for the relationship yet..he just saw me moving on and had to stop it. well he better make it worth it.
i won't be waiting til he feels like it.
all this bottled up.
and i haven't seen him since tuesday.
tell me..am i just not worth it? not worth being treated at least decently. i know i have plenty of faults..but, man..he tells me i can always find something to get upset about..but really..do i have to look that hard? i just want him to love me like i know he is capable of. but maybe i do need to change. be worth it. if not to jj..then to someone else.
isn't that crazy? i did nothing to alter that answer..weird..
anyways..
i have been like an emotional wreck lately..and it really is so frustrating.
i don't even feel like writing about all of it because i don't need the "i told you so's" so any ass who has that to say can take it and shove it.
but here is some of it..
tuesday was a bad day. i went to j's in the morning to surprise him. it was his day off and i knew he would be sleeping in so i was just going to sleep in with him..well much to my surprise..the worst thing that could have happened..well i guess it could have been worse..but it was bad happened. [i know you read this so no names, but honestly, why would you do that?] i was so angry at jj..and at the other person. sure..nothing happened [i guess..certainly did not look that way though, i am just trying to trust jj] anyways..we argued for a while about it..i walked out..he came after me..i really thought we would break up..i was soo freakin' mad..i mean how much do you have to disrespect someone to do that? i've spent the better part of my life letting people walk on me..take advantage..and that isn't happening anymore. it was wrong. they were wrong. i'm not crazy.
well..somehow we got through that..and we slept..err jj slept..until 3:30..once we were up i wanted to talk more about it..sorry..i wasn't over it. he ended up getting frustrated because he had every right to be the ngry one right? so..i went home..
that evening i called to see if he was still coming over to watch the movie with me..and he said he didn't feel like it.
since then i have not pushed him for anything. if i'm not worth it, i'm not going to beg.
if he loses me..his loss. but i damn sure am not going to be waiting or dealing with stupid shit anymore.
i think he saw me moving on and didn't want that. ultimately he sees himself ending up with me..but he wasn't really ready for the relationship yet..he just saw me moving on and had to stop it. well he better make it worth it.
i won't be waiting til he feels like it.
all this bottled up.
and i haven't seen him since tuesday.
tell me..am i just not worth it? not worth being treated at least decently. i know i have plenty of faults..but, man..he tells me i can always find something to get upset about..but really..do i have to look that hard? i just want him to love me like i know he is capable of. but maybe i do need to change. be worth it. if not to jj..then to someone else.