For quatrina
Yes. This is Katrina's b-day present. With her favorite farmer from Suikoden III. I don't guarantee any quality beyond the lj-cut. Seriously. I single-handedly bastardized everyone's character in this thing...
But I must say, it was kind of fun.
"Hello, there."
The farmer looked up to find a very important looking person. Well, that would be the best way he could describe it; he never really traveled much in his life, having always lived at Iksay, so he was somewhat ignorant about certain workings of the world. He could tell, however, that this person in front of him was very official looking, perhaps some sort of military figure from a far off country (word was getting around about Budehuc, afterall). Either that, or he was a very strange man that just liked to wear uniforms... or engage in role-playing activities that don‘t include LARPing...
Either way, Barts smiled and waved, like he did when anyone else approached him. "Hello, can I help you?" he said, putting up his rake against the stone wall behind him and smoothing the dirt off of his gloved hands.
"Yes. Well, actually, I think I may be able to help you... or not. It depends."
Barts raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"I found some peculiar seeds on my travels to here, and seeing as they are of no importance to me, I supposed that they would be more useful to this castle. I heard about the farm you tended here, so I decided to come here and give them to you."
"Ah~! Well, er, thank you very much. By the way, I hope you don‘t mind my asking... but... who exactly are you?"
Sasarai blinked. What, there is actually someone who doesn’t know he was THE Harmonian Bishop? He smirked. Ah, what he would do to have time where he wouldn’t have stupid people bowing to him or fussing over him...maybe even get some gardening techniques so he could grow some nice Petunias back home...
"I’m Ricardo Montoya...Cervesita... Sangria... Margarita XII, from the far land of Guatemala," he explained with a certain flair, if with somewhat awkward execution as he extended his hand for a handshake, which Barts took. No one ever complemented Sasarai for his acting ability, but damn it, he enjoyed it too much. And, anyways, Barts certainly seemed to buy it, and that’s all that mattered at the moment. "I have come here as a tourist."
"Guatemala you say? Never heard of it!"
"I’m not surprised. We’re in a rather... remote location, compared to this continent."
Barts whistled. "Wow... you must have traveled quite a ways, then."
"Oh yes," Sasarai confirmed, rummaging his pockets for the aforementioned seeds. "The way was somewhat treacherous… especially for a lowly civilian like me, I spent my savings to get here and now a war just decided it wanted to come out of its closet and say, 'Look at me~! I‘m all explodilicious and violent and kill people'-- rotten luck for vacation goers, don‘t you say?-- ah, here we are..."
He held out a clenched hand, which, upon unfolding it, the mysterious seeds finally came to sight.
Barts leaned forward slightly to make sure he was seeing... what he was seeing. Yes. Yes, he was!
"O...M..G!" Barts squealed.
"OMG? I do not understand this language. You must explain."
"No, no... you don’t understand!" Barts exclaimed, breathless, seemingly on the verge of orgasm or enlightenment. It can be hard to differentiate between those two... "These seeds... they are the legendary ‘pomato seeds!’ I used to always hear stories from my grandparents, but I never thought that they actually existed!"
Sasarai was dumbfounded. "... ‘Pomato’...? As in..."
"It’s a tomato... but also... a potato! It has the nutritional value of both, in one vegetable! Or, one vegetable-fruit, depending on your point of view on the politics of the tomato..."
Sasarai lowered his eyes and dumped the seeds into Barts's hand. "...You foreigners and your strange, strange food items."
"You have no idea how much you are going to help the castle, sir! The pace at which I had to plant and grow both potatoes and tomatoes for the people living here has now been cut in half! I can now have free time to do... to do..."
Barts stopped to think for a moment. Afterall, what else did he do besides farming?
... Well, besides that other thing. Which was never really explicitly said in his job description, but it wasn't all *completely* disagreeable... at least he actually got paid...
In the meantime, Sasarai was already making his great, or not so great, escape. "Well, glad to be of help, g’bye!" he said, walking briskly away, until Barts yelled something that didn’t register in his ears, and he turned around just in time to catch... a tomato?
"My ripest tomato, in gratitude!" Barts yelled, "And don’t be afraid to ask for anything else you might be interested in~!" He then waved goodbye in glee before he took a hoe and started to plant the seeds right away.
"... ‘Anything else you might be interested in’?" Sasarai mouthed to himself in confusion as he waved back to the farmer. Strange, strange farmer, indeed... and now, what is a Harmonian Bishop to do with a vegetable/non-vegetable fruit?
"Ah, a tomato!" Dios remarked, seeing his superior and what he was holding. "I hear that there are actually some advances in Harmonian technology involving cloning with those things..."
Sasarai felt as if he were smacked up against the side of the head. Again. Cloning? With tomatoes? Preposterous!
...
But perhaps that explains what happened to his twin brother, running around with that silly mask of his like a washed up Power Ranger and pretending to be so ultra-altruistic so suddenly. Heck, Hikusaak probably lied about the whole crystal cloning goop stuff just so that he wouldn't be debilitated even MORE by the fact... that he came... from...
"A TOMATO?!?!?!!?" Sasarai broke down. Completely. Afterall, if his brother were born from a tomato... a thing that couldn't decide if it was vegetable or a fruit...!!
"Dios! What did heck did you say to Master Sasarai?!"
"I don't know, Nash!" Dios exclaimed, trying to calm down the Bishop without any success.
And thus was the day in which Sasarai's existential angst truly began.
But I must say, it was kind of fun.
"Hello, there."
The farmer looked up to find a very important looking person. Well, that would be the best way he could describe it; he never really traveled much in his life, having always lived at Iksay, so he was somewhat ignorant about certain workings of the world. He could tell, however, that this person in front of him was very official looking, perhaps some sort of military figure from a far off country (word was getting around about Budehuc, afterall). Either that, or he was a very strange man that just liked to wear uniforms... or engage in role-playing activities that don‘t include LARPing...
Either way, Barts smiled and waved, like he did when anyone else approached him. "Hello, can I help you?" he said, putting up his rake against the stone wall behind him and smoothing the dirt off of his gloved hands.
"Yes. Well, actually, I think I may be able to help you... or not. It depends."
Barts raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"I found some peculiar seeds on my travels to here, and seeing as they are of no importance to me, I supposed that they would be more useful to this castle. I heard about the farm you tended here, so I decided to come here and give them to you."
"Ah~! Well, er, thank you very much. By the way, I hope you don‘t mind my asking... but... who exactly are you?"
Sasarai blinked. What, there is actually someone who doesn’t know he was THE Harmonian Bishop? He smirked. Ah, what he would do to have time where he wouldn’t have stupid people bowing to him or fussing over him...maybe even get some gardening techniques so he could grow some nice Petunias back home...
"I’m Ricardo Montoya...Cervesita... Sangria... Margarita XII, from the far land of Guatemala," he explained with a certain flair, if with somewhat awkward execution as he extended his hand for a handshake, which Barts took. No one ever complemented Sasarai for his acting ability, but damn it, he enjoyed it too much. And, anyways, Barts certainly seemed to buy it, and that’s all that mattered at the moment. "I have come here as a tourist."
"Guatemala you say? Never heard of it!"
"I’m not surprised. We’re in a rather... remote location, compared to this continent."
Barts whistled. "Wow... you must have traveled quite a ways, then."
"Oh yes," Sasarai confirmed, rummaging his pockets for the aforementioned seeds. "The way was somewhat treacherous… especially for a lowly civilian like me, I spent my savings to get here and now a war just decided it wanted to come out of its closet and say, 'Look at me~! I‘m all explodilicious and violent and kill people'-- rotten luck for vacation goers, don‘t you say?-- ah, here we are..."
He held out a clenched hand, which, upon unfolding it, the mysterious seeds finally came to sight.
Barts leaned forward slightly to make sure he was seeing... what he was seeing. Yes. Yes, he was!
"O...M..G!" Barts squealed.
"OMG? I do not understand this language. You must explain."
"No, no... you don’t understand!" Barts exclaimed, breathless, seemingly on the verge of orgasm or enlightenment. It can be hard to differentiate between those two... "These seeds... they are the legendary ‘pomato seeds!’ I used to always hear stories from my grandparents, but I never thought that they actually existed!"
Sasarai was dumbfounded. "... ‘Pomato’...? As in..."
"It’s a tomato... but also... a potato! It has the nutritional value of both, in one vegetable! Or, one vegetable-fruit, depending on your point of view on the politics of the tomato..."
Sasarai lowered his eyes and dumped the seeds into Barts's hand. "...You foreigners and your strange, strange food items."
"You have no idea how much you are going to help the castle, sir! The pace at which I had to plant and grow both potatoes and tomatoes for the people living here has now been cut in half! I can now have free time to do... to do..."
Barts stopped to think for a moment. Afterall, what else did he do besides farming?
... Well, besides that other thing. Which was never really explicitly said in his job description, but it wasn't all *completely* disagreeable... at least he actually got paid...
In the meantime, Sasarai was already making his great, or not so great, escape. "Well, glad to be of help, g’bye!" he said, walking briskly away, until Barts yelled something that didn’t register in his ears, and he turned around just in time to catch... a tomato?
"My ripest tomato, in gratitude!" Barts yelled, "And don’t be afraid to ask for anything else you might be interested in~!" He then waved goodbye in glee before he took a hoe and started to plant the seeds right away.
"... ‘Anything else you might be interested in’?" Sasarai mouthed to himself in confusion as he waved back to the farmer. Strange, strange farmer, indeed... and now, what is a Harmonian Bishop to do with a vegetable/non-vegetable fruit?
"Ah, a tomato!" Dios remarked, seeing his superior and what he was holding. "I hear that there are actually some advances in Harmonian technology involving cloning with those things..."
Sasarai felt as if he were smacked up against the side of the head. Again. Cloning? With tomatoes? Preposterous!
...
But perhaps that explains what happened to his twin brother, running around with that silly mask of his like a washed up Power Ranger and pretending to be so ultra-altruistic so suddenly. Heck, Hikusaak probably lied about the whole crystal cloning goop stuff just so that he wouldn't be debilitated even MORE by the fact... that he came... from...
"A TOMATO?!?!?!!?" Sasarai broke down. Completely. Afterall, if his brother were born from a tomato... a thing that couldn't decide if it was vegetable or a fruit...!!
"Dios! What did heck did you say to Master Sasarai?!"
"I don't know, Nash!" Dios exclaimed, trying to calm down the Bishop without any success.
And thus was the day in which Sasarai's existential angst truly began.