That was really nice, what you said. I know a lot of people want to go home. Maybe the ones who want to go home will be able to, and the ones who don't can just. Stay here.
... I'm sorry for bothering you, it's just. I'm... I don't know. I feel like I need someone to talk to right now, and. I'm sorry. ._. I don't want to bother you or anything, I just can't sleep either and I feel kind of alone.
Maybe -- maybe, if we all get to go home -- I know, um, you can't really go home. Maybe you could go home with me and Dawn?
Re: [private]quietestheartMarch 10 2010, 09:18:04 UTC
Alright. I just don't want to... bother you, or anything.
No. I'll make sure of it. I don't care what, it's not fair that if some of us go home you might -- no. It's not happening.
[The video flips on again; he looks determined to stop that, no matter what. Determined and a little - scared, like he hadn't considered that maybe - even if... well.
That their time together might be limited. If they even were together. He isn't sure because he is dumb as hell and clueless.]
[She's smiling a little; more than she's smiled in the past few days.]
If you say so. I guess, you could. Um. [She's chewing on her bottom lip now. Because what can he do, what can she say and not hurt his feelings? Feelings are such tricky things.]
[And really, he doesn't look like he's calming down; he's getting more and more worried, because he just had a realization.
It is not a good one.]
If the gods take you away, then--
[The dawning realization that Xion might cease to exist is not something he is taking well at all, judging by his facial expression, by his body posture. At least - with Rise before, even when if they weren't as close and it was just a crush, he could say that she went home, she was home and safe.
Re: [private]quietestheartMarch 10 2010, 09:36:15 UTC
Nobody thinks they will, but what if one day you
[He doesn't even bother to finish the sentence, but he nods to the second question. Oh, god, he is not taking this well at all, and can you really blame him? The combination of dealing with - actually KNOWING, not sort of a vaguely 'yes I am aware' knowing - that she could disappear at any time, just like anyone else in World's End, combined with the part where unlike anyone else in World's End, if she disappears she is gone, not just safely home -- well.
It shouldn't be any surprise that he is not taking this well, he looks like he might have an actual, honest to god panic attack.]
[private] --> [comment log]chisonooggiMarch 10 2010, 09:41:20 UTC
Don't worry, I'll be right there!
[And she doesn't even bother turning the video off, so he can probably see her grabbing her coat and then running barefoot to his door, where he can probably see her at an awkward angle before hearing the knock on his door.
She knocked again, anyway. She didn't want to just come in, even though she knew he couldn't say 'come in'.]
[comment log]quietestheartMarch 10 2010, 09:45:10 UTC
[He's nearly running to the door to let her in, but it's not out of excitement so much as -- he just wants to know that she's there, that somehow in the last 30 seconds she hasn't disappeared and gone away forever.
The door opens, and almost immediately Rion's on her, arms wrapped around her. She's here and she hasn't disappeared yet and he needs, NEEDS her to know he cares while she's still here because what happens if he wakes up tomorrow and she's gone and even when he gets home, he won't be able to tell anyone about her? His first kiss was a girl who might not have even ever existed?
No. No. He's letting her know he cares now, because what if--?]
[comment log]chisonooggiMarch 10 2010, 09:51:50 UTC
[She was a little surprised to say the least. She'd had friends who had cared about her before. But when she disappeared, so did any memory of her. Would it be the same way here, if she disappeared? Or would some of them remember her?
Even the bad parts were worth remembering, she was beginning to learn, and as Riqis had begun to drill into her head. So she hugged him back, burying her face in his shoulder.]
[comment log]quietestheartMarch 10 2010, 09:56:59 UTC
[He can't speak, he can't voice that 'what if', he can't go 'not right now, but--', he can't say anything. He can't sign it, he can't text it right now, and even if he could, would he?
Probably not. It wouldn't mean much of anything right now, to try and contradict her, because right now, she was right. She was here now and that was all that mattered. The future didn't matter, because he couldn't count on the future - even less with her than anyone else, because other people would get to go home.
She would just stop being.
There's a brief moment where he pulls his head away to look at her, to make eye contact, almost like there's something he wants to say, or something he wants to sign. Something that needs to be said, maybe.]
[comment log]chisonooggiMarch 10 2010, 10:02:56 UTC
[She knows that he doesn't want her to disappear. But she's not a mind reader, and so she's looking at him, blue eyes wide, and that place where her heart should be tugs a bit and she just.
Wishes she could do more. Wishes that she could read minds, maybe.
She's never really dealt with someone thinking about her disappearing before. It had always been about her turning into someone else. Only in the end had she actually counted, how she'd told Roxas that it was okay. He would forget her, they all would, but she'd live on in him, and then in Sora.
She didn't think that was the right thing to say here.]
[comment log]quietestheartMarch 10 2010, 10:07:44 UTC
[There's a way he can say it's okay, though, that she shouldn't worry, that it's okay because she's here right now.
The last time, he'd been afraid that maybe she wouldn't be okay with it, that maybe he was overstepping his bounds. This time, there's more confidence; while the idea of being a leader has stressed him out, has made him worry, it's also given him a little bit of faith in himself, that maybe he does know what he's doing, since nobody has gone "uhhhh you are a kid shut the fuck up".
But more importantly - what is there to lose? If he doesn't do this now, he might not ever get another chance.
So, Xion, the boy you are hugging has just pressed his lips against yours in a way that's a bit clumsy, a bit 'I have not done this really and maybe thought about it once while worrying with a pillow', but it's filled with emotion and it's filled with a certain need - not the sexual kind of need, the kind of need from just needing a companion, to be with another person who understands without words even needing to be said
( ... )
...I can't, uhm. Really get to sleep. Right now.
That was really nice, what you said. I know a lot of people want to go home. Maybe the ones who want to go home will be able to, and the ones who don't can just. Stay here.
Reply
Maybe -- maybe, if we all get to go home -- I know, um, you can't really go home. Maybe you could go home with me and Dawn?
Reply
Maybe. I'd...like that. But I'd want everyone else to come too...maybe some of us aren't meant to go home.
Reply
... I'm sure you're going to go somewhere, Xion. You're not just going to disappear. I won't let you.
[Ignore the bit where he has literally no way of ensuring this.]
Reply
...Maybe. But thank you.
Reply
No. I'll make sure of it. I don't care what, it's not fair that if some of us go home you might -- no. It's not happening.
[The video flips on again; he looks determined to stop that, no matter what. Determined and a little - scared, like he hadn't considered that maybe - even if... well.
That their time together might be limited. If they even were together. He isn't sure because he is dumb as hell and clueless.]
Reply
[video]
[She's smiling a little; more than she's smiled in the past few days.]
If you say so. I guess, you could. Um. [She's chewing on her bottom lip now. Because what can he do, what can she say and not hurt his feelings? Feelings are such tricky things.]
I don't think anyone is going home right now.
Reply
[And really, he doesn't look like he's calming down; he's getting more and more worried, because he just had a realization.
It is not a good one.]
If the gods take you away, then--
[The dawning realization that Xion might cease to exist is not something he is taking well at all, judging by his facial expression, by his body posture. At least - with Rise before, even when if they weren't as close and it was just a crush, he could say that she went home, she was home and safe.
But what happened if Xion disappeared?]
Reply
I don't...um, I don't think they'll take me away, I think I'm going to be here for a long time, maybe...
[And now she's really concerned.]
...Do you. Um. Can I come see you?
Reply
[He doesn't even bother to finish the sentence, but he nods to the second question. Oh, god, he is not taking this well at all, and can you really blame him? The combination of dealing with - actually KNOWING, not sort of a vaguely 'yes I am aware' knowing - that she could disappear at any time, just like anyone else in World's End, combined with the part where unlike anyone else in World's End, if she disappears she is gone, not just safely home -- well.
It shouldn't be any surprise that he is not taking this well, he looks like he might have an actual, honest to god panic attack.]
Reply
[And she doesn't even bother turning the video off, so he can probably see her grabbing her coat and then running barefoot to his door, where he can probably see her at an awkward angle before hearing the knock on his door.
She knocked again, anyway. She didn't want to just come in, even though she knew he couldn't say 'come in'.]
Rion? Its me. Uh, its Xion!
Reply
The door opens, and almost immediately Rion's on her, arms wrapped around her. She's here and she hasn't disappeared yet and he needs, NEEDS her to know he cares while she's still here because what happens if he wakes up tomorrow and she's gone and even when he gets home, he won't be able to tell anyone about her? His first kiss was a girl who might not have even ever existed?
No. No. He's letting her know he cares now, because what if--?]
Reply
Even the bad parts were worth remembering, she was beginning to learn, and as Riqis had begun to drill into her head. So she hugged him back, burying her face in his shoulder.]
I'm not disappearing right now.
Reply
Probably not. It wouldn't mean much of anything right now, to try and contradict her, because right now, she was right. She was here now and that was all that mattered. The future didn't matter, because he couldn't count on the future - even less with her than anyone else, because other people would get to go home.
She would just stop being.
There's a brief moment where he pulls his head away to look at her, to make eye contact, almost like there's something he wants to say, or something he wants to sign. Something that needs to be said, maybe.]
Reply
Wishes she could do more. Wishes that she could read minds, maybe.
She's never really dealt with someone thinking about her disappearing before. It had always been about her turning into someone else. Only in the end had she actually counted, how she'd told Roxas that it was okay. He would forget her, they all would, but she'd live on in him, and then in Sora.
She didn't think that was the right thing to say here.]
...I'm sorry for making you worried.
[She bit her bottom lip, worried looking now.]
Reply
The last time, he'd been afraid that maybe she wouldn't be okay with it, that maybe he was overstepping his bounds. This time, there's more confidence; while the idea of being a leader has stressed him out, has made him worry, it's also given him a little bit of faith in himself, that maybe he does know what he's doing, since nobody has gone "uhhhh you are a kid shut the fuck up".
But more importantly - what is there to lose? If he doesn't do this now, he might not ever get another chance.
So, Xion, the boy you are hugging has just pressed his lips against yours in a way that's a bit clumsy, a bit 'I have not done this really and maybe thought about it once while worrying with a pillow', but it's filled with emotion and it's filled with a certain need - not the sexual kind of need, the kind of need from just needing a companion, to be with another person who understands without words even needing to be said ( ... )
Reply
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