Three feet of ice
There is a Chinese proverb saying “three feet of ice does not result from one day of cold weather". There are many factors that brought Latvia to the point where he is willing to look for warmth in Russia's house in more desperate ways. M rated I guess.
Latvia hates Russia's house. He once asked Russia why he did not build his house in a warmer place if he dislikes the cold so much. Russia is a large country and not all of it is freezing.
“Silly Latvia,” Russia had answered. “You are thinking of this all the wrong way. It is cold here because I live here, not the other way around.”
General Winter follows Russia around and that is a horrifying thing to know.
*
The cold creeps into everyone's hearts and it becomes hard to care for anyone beyond yourself. Russia rules absolutely and he is the coldest one of them all. Latvia wonders if the frost burns when Russia brings Lithuania into his bed. Perhaps it doesn't, perhaps it gives them both a bit of warmth since Lithuania does not seem entirely displeased afterwards.
*
When Latvia says he wishes he had siblings too he is met with silence. He hates both Lithuania and Estonia then, he wishes he was as empty as Russia so he wouldn't have to care. But he knows that family ties aren't the only way to melt someone's heart. He has seen the way Russia occasionally looks at Lithuania and the way Lithuania smiles after Russia kisses him. Latvia wants Lithuania to smile like that at him too.
*
He tries late one night after Russia thoughtlessly handed over a bottle of half-filled vodka to him. Latvia looks very small, everyone tends to forget that he empties any bottle he gets hold of and sometimes even risks to outright steal from Russia's stash. Latvia trembles less when alcohol burns in his blood, it makes him feel warm and fuzzy instead of scared.
“What are you doing?” Lithuania shrieks as he is awakened by Latvia grouping him. Latvia has seen the scars on Lithuania's back but now he learns that the skin on his stomach is soft and hot.
Lithuania pushes him away and lectures him.
“Russia would kill you,” he says. “I have no idea what you are thinking. Just... Just go back to bed. Don't drink from Russia's bottles, it's not good for you.”
Latvia doesn't think Lithuania has any business telling him what he should do when he doesn't want to be either his brother or his lover.
*
Latvia feels even worse after being rejected by Lithuania. He's embarrassed to even look at him and tries his best to avoid contact. It's not hard, Russia's house is large as well as cold.
He becomes desperate enough to outright ask Russia if he can have just one glass after Russia walks around with a large bottle of vodka in his hand all day. Russia says yes, if he kisses him first. It's not a bad deal, technically Russia could just take whatever he wanted. Latvia ends up making out with Russia in his office for a while. It isn't terrible but it doesn't exactly help either. Russia is the source of the eternal winter and Latvia feels chilled to the bone when Russia lets him go.
“You are so cute,” Russia cheerfully says and gives him the entire bottle as a reward. It has barley been started and Latvia squeaks in delight. “Cute and disturbed,” Russia adds without changing his tone.
*
The new plan is better, Latvia can feel it in his entire body. Estonia is not used to drinking, Latvia is certain that there will be enough vodka for him even if he offers Estonia some of it. Russia decided that they did not need dinner tonight since Estonia complained about lunch. Sometimes Latvia skips dinner just because the vodka hits much harder on an empty stomach so this doesn't bother him. The timing is perfect even if Estonia seems to think he is there to chew him out about the lunch mishap.
“I'm sorry about earlier,” he says and looks miserable. “I didn't think, I forgot Russia was listening... I miss my own food sometimes.”
“I'm tired of Russian food too,” Latvia agrees. Russia never lets them make something else anymore. There was a time when it was alright but after several uprisings Russia has decided they all have to be like Russians. Now there is only Russian language, Russian food and Russian uniforms to dress in. “But Russian liquor is alright.”
Estonia hesitates. “Is it really a good idea?” And thinking further, “You know you can't steal from Russia, he'll punish all of us.”
“It's alright,” Latvia soothes. He has taken several large mouthfuls before getting into Estonia's room and he feels confident. “He gave it to me.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Latvia says and pours them each a shot. “Try it, you feel better.”
Estonia still does not look convinced but he is more innocent than Lithuania and pours the shot down his throat. He coughs and Latvia finds that adorable.
“How can Russia drink that as if it was water?” Estonia chokes.
“You have to drink more of it,” Latvia explains.
Estonia drinks more and he coughs every time.
“You are so cute!” Latvia exclaims and clings around Estonia's neck. He would have liked Estonia to take the initiative but it seems like he would have to wait forever for that. He has heard Estonia has been with Finland so he should know what to do even if Latvia himself only has a vague idea of how you draw the warmth of out your partner.
Latvia becomes tired of waiting and kisses Estonia right after he finishes another shot. The cough sticks in his throat but he doesn't push Latvia away or preaches to him. He kisses back and it feels good, less experienced than Russia but warmer and that is what matters.
Latvia takes off his own pajama top and then Estonia's as well when Estonia isn't as responsive as he would wish.
“Are you sure?” Estonia asks and Latvia nods. Should he take off Estonia's glasses or would Estonia be completely blind then? The other nation solves the problem for him by taking them off on his own, then thug on Latvia's pants. Finally, some initiative. Latvia is delighted and lets out a giggle.
“Did you, uhm, bring something?” Estonia asks, blushing.
“I brought vodka!” Latvia proudly proclaims.
“You really don't want to use that for- nevermind, wait a moment.”
Latvia gets the rest of his own cloths off while Estonia is doing whatever in the bathroom. Estonia is undressed as well when he gets back into bed. They continue to kiss and Estonia flips him over so he lies on his stomach. He kisses Latvia's neck and it feels so nice that he barley notices Estonia's hand between his legs.
Latvia has read hundreds of romance novels, if he was a girl he would be pretty certain how this was supposed to go down. As it is he has no ideas and he goes with whatever Estonia wants. It is over much quicker than he expected, it kind of hurts when Estonia enters him and he comes almost imminently. For Latvia it is an underwhelming experience but Estonia falls asleep next to him and seems happy. That is not a complete failure, Latvia enjoys laying next to someone warm and to feel appreciated.
*
The door opens, quietly, and there are violet eyes starting curiously at them. Latvia looks directly into those eyes, too late to feign sleep now. He carefully gets out of the bed, moving Estonia out of the way. Estonia snores and continues to sleep peacefully. Russia moves out of the way, perfectly willing to take this outside and not involve Estonia. He closes the door before he closes in on Latvia.
“You had fun?” Russia asks.
Latvia blushes furiously and he can't think. His heart beats like crazy but he doesn't tremble.
“You were very loud,” Russia continues, he looks childishly intrigued. “It makes me want to see what kind of sounds I could get from little Latvia.”
“Tomorrow,” Latvia says since the vodka and the endorphine rush has made him brave. “I'm tired now.”
Russia laughs at him. “Tomorrow you will be sore but we have time later, all time in the world, do we not?”
Latvia nods. He guesses they have and he hopes Russia will be just as warm as Estonia.
Being with Russia is completely different Latvia learns. Russia is experienced and controlling, he knows exactly what he wants and all Latvia has to do is follow. When Latvia comes into Russia's bedroom it is amazingly warm, the fireplace is burning brightly and Russia's covers are thicker than his own. Has Russia read his mind or is it so easy to guess that this is what he craves?
Latvia doesn't have to think, he just lets go. There are no place for mistakes from his side, if Russia said something Latvia would tell him to go to hell because it would be Russia's own fault. Russia heats up spots Latvia did not even know he had and when they are done he is spent and breathless. Strange how it does not feel right anyway, not better than Estonia who seemed to have no idea what to do with his hands.
“Aren't you going to give me vodka or something now?” Latvia says.
“That is what whoring is Latvia,” Russia says, not unkindly. “Spreading your legs to get money and things in return.”
Latvia starts to cry.
Russia sighs. “I will buy you something tomorrow. Because you are cute, da? No other reason. Stop crying.”
Latvia's sobs slowly die out. Perhaps this is for the best. He is tired of making his own decisions when they always end up backfiring.
I wrote this entire thing when I come home drunk after a party and it frightens me a little..
Latvia hates Russia's house. He once asked Russia why he did not build his house in a warmer place if he dislikes the cold so much. Russia is a large country and not all of it is freezing.
“Silly Latvia,” Russia had answered. “You are thinking of this all the wrong way. It is cold here because I live here, not the other way around.”
General Winter follows Russia around and that is a horrifying thing to know.
*
The cold creeps into everyone's hearts and it becomes hard to care for anyone beyond yourself. Russia rules absolutely and he is the coldest one of them all. Latvia wonders if the frost burns when Russia brings Lithuania into his bed. Perhaps it doesn't, perhaps it gives them both a bit of warmth since Lithuania does not seem entirely displeased afterwards.
*
When Latvia says he wishes he had siblings too he is met with silence. He hates both Lithuania and Estonia then, he wishes he was as empty as Russia so he wouldn't have to care. But he knows that family ties aren't the only way to melt someone's heart. He has seen the way Russia occasionally looks at Lithuania and the way Lithuania smiles after Russia kisses him. Latvia wants Lithuania to smile like that at him too.
*
He tries late one night after Russia thoughtlessly handed over a bottle of half-filled vodka to him. Latvia looks very small, everyone tends to forget that he empties any bottle he gets hold of and sometimes even risks to outright steal from Russia's stash. Latvia trembles less when alcohol burns in his blood, it makes him feel warm and fuzzy instead of scared.
“What are you doing?” Lithuania shrieks as he is awakened by Latvia grouping him. Latvia has seen the scars on Lithuania's back but now he learns that the skin on his stomach is soft and hot.
Lithuania pushes him away and lectures him.
“Russia would kill you,” he says. “I have no idea what you are thinking. Just... Just go back to bed. Don't drink from Russia's bottles, it's not good for you.”
Latvia doesn't think Lithuania has any business telling him what he should do when he doesn't want to be either his brother or his lover.
*
Latvia feels even worse after being rejected by Lithuania. He's embarrassed to even look at him and tries his best to avoid contact. It's not hard, Russia's house is large as well as cold.
He becomes desperate enough to outright ask Russia if he can have just one glass after Russia walks around with a large bottle of vodka in his hand all day. Russia says yes, if he kisses him first. It's not a bad deal, technically Russia could just take whatever he wanted. Latvia ends up making out with Russia in his office for a while. It isn't terrible but it doesn't exactly help either. Russia is the source of the eternal winter and Latvia feels chilled to the bone when Russia lets him go.
“You are so cute,” Russia cheerfully says and gives him the entire bottle as a reward. It has barley been started and Latvia squeaks in delight. “Cute and disturbed,” Russia adds without changing his tone.
*
The new plan is better, Latvia can feel it in his entire body. Estonia is not used to drinking, Latvia is certain that there will be enough vodka for him even if he offers Estonia some of it. Russia decided that they did not need dinner tonight since Estonia complained about lunch. Sometimes Latvia skips dinner just because the vodka hits much harder on an empty stomach so this doesn't bother him. The timing is perfect even if Estonia seems to think he is there to chew him out about the lunch mishap.
“I'm sorry about earlier,” he says and looks miserable. “I didn't think, I forgot Russia was listening... I miss my own food sometimes.”
“I'm tired of Russian food too,” Latvia agrees. Russia never lets them make something else anymore. There was a time when it was alright but after several uprisings Russia has decided they all have to be like Russians. Now there is only Russian language, Russian food and Russian uniforms to dress in. “But Russian liquor is alright.”
Estonia hesitates. “Is it really a good idea?” And thinking further, “You know you can't steal from Russia, he'll punish all of us.”
“It's alright,” Latvia soothes. He has taken several large mouthfuls before getting into Estonia's room and he feels confident. “He gave it to me.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Latvia says and pours them each a shot. “Try it, you feel better.”
Estonia still does not look convinced but he is more innocent than Lithuania and pours the shot down his throat. He coughs and Latvia finds that adorable.
“How can Russia drink that as if it was water?” Estonia chokes.
“You have to drink more of it,” Latvia explains.
Estonia drinks more and he coughs every time.
“You are so cute!” Latvia exclaims and clings around Estonia's neck. He would have liked Estonia to take the initiative but it seems like he would have to wait forever for that. He has heard Estonia has been with Finland so he should know what to do even if Latvia himself only has a vague idea of how you draw the warmth of out your partner.
Latvia becomes tired of waiting and kisses Estonia right after he finishes another shot. The cough sticks in his throat but he doesn't push Latvia away or preaches to him. He kisses back and it feels good, less experienced than Russia but warmer and that is what matters.
Latvia takes off his own pajama top and then Estonia's as well when Estonia isn't as responsive as he would wish.
“Are you sure?” Estonia asks and Latvia nods. Should he take off Estonia's glasses or would Estonia be completely blind then? The other nation solves the problem for him by taking them off on his own, then thug on Latvia's pants. Finally, some initiative. Latvia is delighted and lets out a giggle.
“Did you, uhm, bring something?” Estonia asks, blushing.
“I brought vodka!” Latvia proudly proclaims.
“You really don't want to use that for- nevermind, wait a moment.”
Latvia gets the rest of his own cloths off while Estonia is doing whatever in the bathroom. Estonia is undressed as well when he gets back into bed. They continue to kiss and Estonia flips him over so he lies on his stomach. He kisses Latvia's neck and it feels so nice that he barley notices Estonia's hand between his legs.
Latvia has read hundreds of romance novels, if he was a girl he would be pretty certain how this was supposed to go down. As it is he has no ideas and he goes with whatever Estonia wants. It is over much quicker than he expected, it kind of hurts when Estonia enters him and he comes almost imminently. For Latvia it is an underwhelming experience but Estonia falls asleep next to him and seems happy. That is not a complete failure, Latvia enjoys laying next to someone warm and to feel appreciated.
*
The door opens, quietly, and there are violet eyes starting curiously at them. Latvia looks directly into those eyes, too late to feign sleep now. He carefully gets out of the bed, moving Estonia out of the way. Estonia snores and continues to sleep peacefully. Russia moves out of the way, perfectly willing to take this outside and not involve Estonia. He closes the door before he closes in on Latvia.
“You had fun?” Russia asks.
Latvia blushes furiously and he can't think. His heart beats like crazy but he doesn't tremble.
“You were very loud,” Russia continues, he looks childishly intrigued. “It makes me want to see what kind of sounds I could get from little Latvia.”
“Tomorrow,” Latvia says since the vodka and the endorphine rush has made him brave. “I'm tired now.”
Russia laughs at him. “Tomorrow you will be sore but we have time later, all time in the world, do we not?”
Latvia nods. He guesses they have and he hopes Russia will be just as warm as Estonia.
Being with Russia is completely different Latvia learns. Russia is experienced and controlling, he knows exactly what he wants and all Latvia has to do is follow. When Latvia comes into Russia's bedroom it is amazingly warm, the fireplace is burning brightly and Russia's covers are thicker than his own. Has Russia read his mind or is it so easy to guess that this is what he craves?
Latvia doesn't have to think, he just lets go. There are no place for mistakes from his side, if Russia said something Latvia would tell him to go to hell because it would be Russia's own fault. Russia heats up spots Latvia did not even know he had and when they are done he is spent and breathless. Strange how it does not feel right anyway, not better than Estonia who seemed to have no idea what to do with his hands.
“Aren't you going to give me vodka or something now?” Latvia says.
“That is what whoring is Latvia,” Russia says, not unkindly. “Spreading your legs to get money and things in return.”
Latvia starts to cry.
Russia sighs. “I will buy you something tomorrow. Because you are cute, da? No other reason. Stop crying.”
Latvia's sobs slowly die out. Perhaps this is for the best. He is tired of making his own decisions when they always end up backfiring.
I wrote this entire thing when I come home drunk after a party and it frightens me a little..