deeper and back.
I believe this first one is from Junior year. We read a book on child abuse in Mrs. Dunning's English class and were told to write a reaction to it. This was mine.
Please S. T. I. L. L.
Hello mommy.
How was your day?
Mine? I guess
It was okay.
But some bully tripped me
just to be mean.
Yes mommy, I will,
I'll go and get clean.
Yes mommy,
I'll do as you say.
No mommy,
please don't again today!
I'll wash it out.
It's only dirt.
Stop hitting me mommy!
It's starting to hurt!
Yes it hurts a lot,
but it's okay.
No mommy, don't cry.
The pain will go away.
It's a pattern mommy,
says the man at school.
No mommy,
I haven't told on you.
I swear it mommy.
It's not like that.
I would never tattle.
I'm not a rat!
But you can get help mommy.
That's what people say.
Nice people will help
to make the beatings go away.
Who told me mommy?
It was just a friend.
A man who offered
to help the beatings end.
Don't worry mommy,
he won't go and tell.
Stop hitting me mommy!
I swear that I'll yell
and scream for help!
Wait I take it back!
Just stop hitting me mommy.
It's all turning black
and it's getting hard to see.
Wait, there's a light!
I see an array of people.
Hey, that's not right!
Because I can see grandpa
and there's my big brother.
But he swears that
you beat and killed him mother.
But that can't be!
No way is it true!
Because that would mean
that you killed me too.
Stop Taking Innocent Little Lives
It's very juvenile but it's supposed to be. It made a few girls in my class cry which made me laugh. Comprehension is an interesting thing. Jasmine hugged me after class if I recall correctly.
Poem two I only have a rough draft of. I'll find the final one and put it up in a few days. This one is marked August 12 2002.
I'm always looking for perfection.
This time could I have found it?
Fear floats back up again.
I'll try to see if I can drown it.
I'm growing tired of examining people
underneath this looking glass.
I'm always feeling for fatal flaws
and looking for any excuse to pass
on what could once again be
my key to happiness.
I'm hating how I always toss aside
every good thing which I possess.
Now I'm tired of being scared
of other people's hurtful ways.
I'm tired of being worried
if this one's really going to stay.
It seems like I'm always busy looking
for a reason to be alone.
It seems like I'm steadily terrified
of anyone who will condone
or accept me for the person
that I pretend to be.
I keep punishing others for liking
what I create for them to see.
So maybe it's time I just stop worrying
about all of the gifts that God has sent
and just start focusing on my future,
not where my life's already went.
Maybe I'm standing still in life right now
and maybe I don't even have a plan
but I am finally starting to see
what I need to do to be a man.
So I'm simply staying still for now,
being patient and building supports.
I've still got a fantastic girlfriend,
my friends, my writings, and my sports.
I'll quietly sit and stack up my chips
and plan out what's next to do.
I'm all done with overanalyzing life.
I'll just take what life puts me through
and make the best out of every
single situation that I'm dealt.
I'm no longer the person you knew
who always burried what he felt.
I've gotten help and gotten stronger
and I've found out how to be real.
From now on my words and actions
will show the true way that I feel.
Written for Melissa Brown. Thank you for trying to fix what you didn't break. I love you.
Number three was written WAY back in eighth grade at the behest of some male friends of mine. A NASTY e-mail poem was being forwarded all around the internet (and consequently all over my small town and school) about how bad guys are and how we only drink beer and fart and beat women up. Girls in my school, be they in seventh grade or 12th, started quoting from this e-mail like it was the bible. I was approached by a small group of guys from my class straight up to seniors. Some eighth graders had heard about the X-mas poem I did and knew I was a smart-ass. They passed the word around and I was asked by the group to create a response and e-mail it out to both my buddy list and ANYONE in the school I could find. What I wrote that night cost me two very close friendships (T.L. and A.L.), female aquantences from girls in about 6 grades, 2 squads of cheer leaders, and two hurt members of the ANd1 crew. Rocky and JC both got over it, but it set them both back for a day or two. What is here is the original version, not the cleaner version I re-wrote in later years. Enjoy.
Chicks
When it comes to females
most men know there worth.
For example wise Confucios said
"drown the girls at birth".
For guys who don't know yet
I'll give it to you straight.
Allthough some girls are fine and good
there's types that suck to date
Many girls side with satan,
they say that they are witches.
I've met these girls, there almost right.
These girls tend to be bitches.
Some girls like to tease their guys
and they play "hard to get".
Some one should tell them "thats just queer"
because they haven't discovered it yet.
There's girls who want you to love them
and cheer them when they're sad,
then when they're better, they snap your heart
and can't figure out why your mad!
Some girls just like other girls
which I personally think is sick.
Hey girls! when you date someone
they're supposed to have a dick.
Then theres girls that are still young
but are sure they've found their soulmate.
It's truly tragic when this happens.
Let's have a momet of silence for Nate.
There's girls that need hours
just for there make-up and hair.
Guys really shouldn't date this type.
Who knows whats under there?
There are girls you see on corners
who just stand there and look cute.
Never go for these females.
They're known as "prostitutes".
You may see a girl who looks perfect,
like God has answered you wish,
but when you go up and talk to her
you find she doesn't speak english.
There's girls who are legally insane
and think that they can fly.
It's really only common sense
that we should pass them by.
There's girls that get there hair cut short
and I'm not naming any names...
I just think it's rather wrong
when the couple looks the same.
Then there's girls who freak out
every time a finger nail breaks.
These girls are called many things
including "cheerleaders" and "flakes".
Some girls think you're imature
and dumb no matter what you do.
If you just graduated from yale, who cares!?
They're still twice as mature as you!
So guys, in your search for a girl
NEVER EVER forget this list,
'cause if you date one of these girls
surely you'll be pissed!
When all the hatred was recieved (in hate mail, silent treatment, profanity, physical threat, and every other imaginable form) the following attachment was sent along.
Some girls can't take jokes,
they take everything right to heart.
Now they're all mad because of my poem
which is something I never meant to start.
I hate to point you out specifically
but I'm still not sorry EBUNNY.
I know you've never really liked me
and that you don't think this is funny
but that's all the poem is supposed to be,
it was never meant to offend anyone.
I'm not sorry to AL, TL, AH, or anyone forgotten
who don't realize this was only for fun.
This was sent out around february (still basketball season) and I know some loose friends were still mad about it when school let out in June. Nate was hurt (mostly because he was encouraged to be so by T.L.) for a few days. JC and I talked about it the VERY next day it was sent out and he assured me we were cool and no harm done. The convo ended with a handshake as always. The rest of the girls either got over it and resumed talking to me, or they didn't and I'm still alive. Interesting the reaction my poetry caused in high school.
Please S. T. I. L. L.
Hello mommy.
How was your day?
Mine? I guess
It was okay.
But some bully tripped me
just to be mean.
Yes mommy, I will,
I'll go and get clean.
Yes mommy,
I'll do as you say.
No mommy,
please don't again today!
I'll wash it out.
It's only dirt.
Stop hitting me mommy!
It's starting to hurt!
Yes it hurts a lot,
but it's okay.
No mommy, don't cry.
The pain will go away.
It's a pattern mommy,
says the man at school.
No mommy,
I haven't told on you.
I swear it mommy.
It's not like that.
I would never tattle.
I'm not a rat!
But you can get help mommy.
That's what people say.
Nice people will help
to make the beatings go away.
Who told me mommy?
It was just a friend.
A man who offered
to help the beatings end.
Don't worry mommy,
he won't go and tell.
Stop hitting me mommy!
I swear that I'll yell
and scream for help!
Wait I take it back!
Just stop hitting me mommy.
It's all turning black
and it's getting hard to see.
Wait, there's a light!
I see an array of people.
Hey, that's not right!
Because I can see grandpa
and there's my big brother.
But he swears that
you beat and killed him mother.
But that can't be!
No way is it true!
Because that would mean
that you killed me too.
Stop Taking Innocent Little Lives
It's very juvenile but it's supposed to be. It made a few girls in my class cry which made me laugh. Comprehension is an interesting thing. Jasmine hugged me after class if I recall correctly.
Poem two I only have a rough draft of. I'll find the final one and put it up in a few days. This one is marked August 12 2002.
I'm always looking for perfection.
This time could I have found it?
Fear floats back up again.
I'll try to see if I can drown it.
I'm growing tired of examining people
underneath this looking glass.
I'm always feeling for fatal flaws
and looking for any excuse to pass
on what could once again be
my key to happiness.
I'm hating how I always toss aside
every good thing which I possess.
Now I'm tired of being scared
of other people's hurtful ways.
I'm tired of being worried
if this one's really going to stay.
It seems like I'm always busy looking
for a reason to be alone.
It seems like I'm steadily terrified
of anyone who will condone
or accept me for the person
that I pretend to be.
I keep punishing others for liking
what I create for them to see.
So maybe it's time I just stop worrying
about all of the gifts that God has sent
and just start focusing on my future,
not where my life's already went.
Maybe I'm standing still in life right now
and maybe I don't even have a plan
but I am finally starting to see
what I need to do to be a man.
So I'm simply staying still for now,
being patient and building supports.
I've still got a fantastic girlfriend,
my friends, my writings, and my sports.
I'll quietly sit and stack up my chips
and plan out what's next to do.
I'm all done with overanalyzing life.
I'll just take what life puts me through
and make the best out of every
single situation that I'm dealt.
I'm no longer the person you knew
who always burried what he felt.
I've gotten help and gotten stronger
and I've found out how to be real.
From now on my words and actions
will show the true way that I feel.
Written for Melissa Brown. Thank you for trying to fix what you didn't break. I love you.
Number three was written WAY back in eighth grade at the behest of some male friends of mine. A NASTY e-mail poem was being forwarded all around the internet (and consequently all over my small town and school) about how bad guys are and how we only drink beer and fart and beat women up. Girls in my school, be they in seventh grade or 12th, started quoting from this e-mail like it was the bible. I was approached by a small group of guys from my class straight up to seniors. Some eighth graders had heard about the X-mas poem I did and knew I was a smart-ass. They passed the word around and I was asked by the group to create a response and e-mail it out to both my buddy list and ANYONE in the school I could find. What I wrote that night cost me two very close friendships (T.L. and A.L.), female aquantences from girls in about 6 grades, 2 squads of cheer leaders, and two hurt members of the ANd1 crew. Rocky and JC both got over it, but it set them both back for a day or two. What is here is the original version, not the cleaner version I re-wrote in later years. Enjoy.
Chicks
When it comes to females
most men know there worth.
For example wise Confucios said
"drown the girls at birth".
For guys who don't know yet
I'll give it to you straight.
Allthough some girls are fine and good
there's types that suck to date
Many girls side with satan,
they say that they are witches.
I've met these girls, there almost right.
These girls tend to be bitches.
Some girls like to tease their guys
and they play "hard to get".
Some one should tell them "thats just queer"
because they haven't discovered it yet.
There's girls who want you to love them
and cheer them when they're sad,
then when they're better, they snap your heart
and can't figure out why your mad!
Some girls just like other girls
which I personally think is sick.
Hey girls! when you date someone
they're supposed to have a dick.
Then theres girls that are still young
but are sure they've found their soulmate.
It's truly tragic when this happens.
Let's have a momet of silence for Nate.
There's girls that need hours
just for there make-up and hair.
Guys really shouldn't date this type.
Who knows whats under there?
There are girls you see on corners
who just stand there and look cute.
Never go for these females.
They're known as "prostitutes".
You may see a girl who looks perfect,
like God has answered you wish,
but when you go up and talk to her
you find she doesn't speak english.
There's girls who are legally insane
and think that they can fly.
It's really only common sense
that we should pass them by.
There's girls that get there hair cut short
and I'm not naming any names...
I just think it's rather wrong
when the couple looks the same.
Then there's girls who freak out
every time a finger nail breaks.
These girls are called many things
including "cheerleaders" and "flakes".
Some girls think you're imature
and dumb no matter what you do.
If you just graduated from yale, who cares!?
They're still twice as mature as you!
So guys, in your search for a girl
NEVER EVER forget this list,
'cause if you date one of these girls
surely you'll be pissed!
When all the hatred was recieved (in hate mail, silent treatment, profanity, physical threat, and every other imaginable form) the following attachment was sent along.
Some girls can't take jokes,
they take everything right to heart.
Now they're all mad because of my poem
which is something I never meant to start.
I hate to point you out specifically
but I'm still not sorry EBUNNY.
I know you've never really liked me
and that you don't think this is funny
but that's all the poem is supposed to be,
it was never meant to offend anyone.
I'm not sorry to AL, TL, AH, or anyone forgotten
who don't realize this was only for fun.
This was sent out around february (still basketball season) and I know some loose friends were still mad about it when school let out in June. Nate was hurt (mostly because he was encouraged to be so by T.L.) for a few days. JC and I talked about it the VERY next day it was sent out and he assured me we were cool and no harm done. The convo ended with a handshake as always. The rest of the girls either got over it and resumed talking to me, or they didn't and I'm still alive. Interesting the reaction my poetry caused in high school.