(no subject)
Today I asked Jesse how he'd react if I told him that I had fallen in love with him.
I've been wondering that for a while. He's talked about how he's been in love with Alex ever since I've met him, and it's caused him a lot of distress.
He sort of avoided the question when I asked him.
Ouch. Haha.
I'll probably end up asking other people the same question. Like Mike.
I kind of wonder... what do I love? Is it a person? Is it a thing? Do I love the piano? Do I love music in general? Do I love myself? Do I love Chris? Do I love art?
I just don't know.
What if I don't love anything?
Is that a bad thing?
Today is special, as it marks the first day I have been horny and introspective at the same time.
Chris and I are going to get tested for HIV together.
Ah, that does a wonderful job of killing my sex drive. It makes me pretty nervous. I'm not really too much more sexually active than most teenagers, even though I guess I sort of give off a manwhorish vibe. I'm still pretty nervous about it all, though.
I think it's sort of funny how a few years ago, at that lock-in at Adventure Landing with my school, my friend Alyssa had brought her sister and her friend Lloyd with her. I remember thinking Lloyd was hot but that was about it, and I didn't really expect to see him again. I spent the whole time with Alyssa when Lloyd walked off with her sister.
Now it's... I think three years later? I found out that Lloyd is (was?) Chris' best friend. They have (had?) one of those weird best friendships that has a romantic element to it, and they were "sorta dating" until Lloyd went off and had a threesome. Now apparently Lloyd's none too happy about my presence in Chris' life. He won't even call me by name; he'll just call me "him." They had a big fight. That bothers me, because I know it was partly to do with me, no matter what Chris says.
I feel like situations like this shouldn't happen in a city that's supposedly "the largest city land-wise.
I hope they work out this whole situation. I'd hate to see Chris lose his best friend...
RACHEL HAS A NEW PHONE NUMBER.
I must keep this in mind.
And Kett Turton makes probably the most adorable goth boy I have ever seen in any form of media.
Except maybe magazines.
I've been wondering that for a while. He's talked about how he's been in love with Alex ever since I've met him, and it's caused him a lot of distress.
He sort of avoided the question when I asked him.
Ouch. Haha.
I'll probably end up asking other people the same question. Like Mike.
I kind of wonder... what do I love? Is it a person? Is it a thing? Do I love the piano? Do I love music in general? Do I love myself? Do I love Chris? Do I love art?
I just don't know.
What if I don't love anything?
Is that a bad thing?
Today is special, as it marks the first day I have been horny and introspective at the same time.
Chris and I are going to get tested for HIV together.
Ah, that does a wonderful job of killing my sex drive. It makes me pretty nervous. I'm not really too much more sexually active than most teenagers, even though I guess I sort of give off a manwhorish vibe. I'm still pretty nervous about it all, though.
I think it's sort of funny how a few years ago, at that lock-in at Adventure Landing with my school, my friend Alyssa had brought her sister and her friend Lloyd with her. I remember thinking Lloyd was hot but that was about it, and I didn't really expect to see him again. I spent the whole time with Alyssa when Lloyd walked off with her sister.
Now it's... I think three years later? I found out that Lloyd is (was?) Chris' best friend. They have (had?) one of those weird best friendships that has a romantic element to it, and they were "sorta dating" until Lloyd went off and had a threesome. Now apparently Lloyd's none too happy about my presence in Chris' life. He won't even call me by name; he'll just call me "him." They had a big fight. That bothers me, because I know it was partly to do with me, no matter what Chris says.
I feel like situations like this shouldn't happen in a city that's supposedly "the largest city land-wise.
I hope they work out this whole situation. I'd hate to see Chris lose his best friend...
RACHEL HAS A NEW PHONE NUMBER.
I must keep this in mind.
And Kett Turton makes probably the most adorable goth boy I have ever seen in any form of media.
Except maybe magazines.