(no subject)
I've long since said that commercials are the best and the worst of television. Well, today I'm definitely feeling the "worst" part of that. Don't get me wrong, most even mediocre programs are more enjoyable than the best of commercials, but I guess that since I expect commercials to suck so hard, even just a decently alright commercial by comparison is entertaining. Like lately I've been enjoying those commercials (I can't remember what for) that take clips from movies and add some dialogue to it. I'll probably tire of them quickly, but at least they're tolerable at this point. So here's my list of commercials I particularly LOATHE. I wish I could remember the easy way to do lists in HTML, but I can't, so this thrown together ugly list will have to suffice.
Wendy's - I really cannot stand it when a company tries to create some popular trend or consumer jargon to further sales of their product. That sort of thing should be unintentional, not blatant and annoying. Like a Frosty isn't solid or a liquid, so it's a "soquid." You'd think there wasn't anything else in the world that was half-frozen half-liquid, like Wendy's invented the fucking milkshake. I enjoy an occasional Frosty, but it's really just an inferior milkshake - not enough deliciousness. And then to concatenate "Frosty Spoon" into "Fpoon" is fucking retarded. It's still just a god damn plastic spoon. Say I wanted to eat a baked potato with a spoon; would I get a Bpoon? It's not as if a Frosty Spoon is an entirely different utensil necessitating a new name, such as a spork. I'm going to create a buttload of contractions following the Fpoon formula and go confuse the hell out of some Wendy's employees.
Allstate Insurance - My biggest overall problem with commercials is that I feel like they take us for idiots. Not that most consumers aren't idiots, but cmon Corporate America, I have to watch this garbage too. Allstate started this advertising campaign talking about how they reward safe drivers. When I first saw this commercial, I immediately thought it was a good idea. Then it got to the catch, which most people probably don't even realize is a catch. If you have an amount of time without accidents, you save money on your deductible! Sweet deal, right? Wrong. Keep in mind you only pay your deductible once you get into an accident. So no matter how many years of safe driving you've accrued, once you get in an accident, they're going to rape you on your premium. And further deductibles due to accidents won't come at a discount. Well, Allstate must have heard me bitching at the television because after seeing that smear for a while, they changed their deal so that somehow you could save money on your premium. I hope that enough people complained. Anyways, I saw another new Allstate commercial today that pissed me off. I don't remember what the exact promotion was, but it was another situation where you only saved once you were screwed. I look forward to seeing it again!
America Online - Yes, we all know these commercials. When I see a new AOL High Speed commercial I don't even have to wait four seconds before I realize what it is. AOL High Speed Commercial in a Nutshell: Some sorry ass humble and friendly bloke keeps up with some serious contenders at some demanding (usually athletic) task. I know the commercials are trying to tell us that AOL High Speed is for anyone and it's easy to use and whatever, but I'd take these commercials as somewhat of an insult. It's as if you have to be clueless to use their product, or maybe they make it clueless-proof, heh. If AOL High Speed is like their services in the past (excluding early AOL), it sucks. I'm pretty certain it sucks, and the only way they could possibly regain some of that huge market they lost is to appeal to a niche broadband market, ie. those that are stupid and don't know what the hell they're doing and don't mind getting ripped off. AOL needs to show some power-nerd making use of all the sweet shit that their product/service can do. Oh wait, AOL can't do anything sweet, except Slingo. Maybe they should just show AOL High Speed eating up your system resources and running at half the speed of other broadbands. But at least you get Slingo.
Boost Mobile - Need I says more? Nope. But I will add that I feel like nine out of ten cell phone commercials are directed at black people. I wonder if the people in these Boost Mobile commercials know how ridiculous of an advertisement they're going to be in when they sign up for it. The commercials do sort of glamorize these people, though, so I imagine some celebrities don't mind.
End rant. And oh, I've decided that Ok Computer is the best album out since The Wall. If you disagree with anything I have said, you are wrong.
Wendy's - I really cannot stand it when a company tries to create some popular trend or consumer jargon to further sales of their product. That sort of thing should be unintentional, not blatant and annoying. Like a Frosty isn't solid or a liquid, so it's a "soquid." You'd think there wasn't anything else in the world that was half-frozen half-liquid, like Wendy's invented the fucking milkshake. I enjoy an occasional Frosty, but it's really just an inferior milkshake - not enough deliciousness. And then to concatenate "Frosty Spoon" into "Fpoon" is fucking retarded. It's still just a god damn plastic spoon. Say I wanted to eat a baked potato with a spoon; would I get a Bpoon? It's not as if a Frosty Spoon is an entirely different utensil necessitating a new name, such as a spork. I'm going to create a buttload of contractions following the Fpoon formula and go confuse the hell out of some Wendy's employees.
Allstate Insurance - My biggest overall problem with commercials is that I feel like they take us for idiots. Not that most consumers aren't idiots, but cmon Corporate America, I have to watch this garbage too. Allstate started this advertising campaign talking about how they reward safe drivers. When I first saw this commercial, I immediately thought it was a good idea. Then it got to the catch, which most people probably don't even realize is a catch. If you have an amount of time without accidents, you save money on your deductible! Sweet deal, right? Wrong. Keep in mind you only pay your deductible once you get into an accident. So no matter how many years of safe driving you've accrued, once you get in an accident, they're going to rape you on your premium. And further deductibles due to accidents won't come at a discount. Well, Allstate must have heard me bitching at the television because after seeing that smear for a while, they changed their deal so that somehow you could save money on your premium. I hope that enough people complained. Anyways, I saw another new Allstate commercial today that pissed me off. I don't remember what the exact promotion was, but it was another situation where you only saved once you were screwed. I look forward to seeing it again!
America Online - Yes, we all know these commercials. When I see a new AOL High Speed commercial I don't even have to wait four seconds before I realize what it is. AOL High Speed Commercial in a Nutshell: Some sorry ass humble and friendly bloke keeps up with some serious contenders at some demanding (usually athletic) task. I know the commercials are trying to tell us that AOL High Speed is for anyone and it's easy to use and whatever, but I'd take these commercials as somewhat of an insult. It's as if you have to be clueless to use their product, or maybe they make it clueless-proof, heh. If AOL High Speed is like their services in the past (excluding early AOL), it sucks. I'm pretty certain it sucks, and the only way they could possibly regain some of that huge market they lost is to appeal to a niche broadband market, ie. those that are stupid and don't know what the hell they're doing and don't mind getting ripped off. AOL needs to show some power-nerd making use of all the sweet shit that their product/service can do. Oh wait, AOL can't do anything sweet, except Slingo. Maybe they should just show AOL High Speed eating up your system resources and running at half the speed of other broadbands. But at least you get Slingo.
Boost Mobile - Need I says more? Nope. But I will add that I feel like nine out of ten cell phone commercials are directed at black people. I wonder if the people in these Boost Mobile commercials know how ridiculous of an advertisement they're going to be in when they sign up for it. The commercials do sort of glamorize these people, though, so I imagine some celebrities don't mind.
End rant. And oh, I've decided that Ok Computer is the best album out since The Wall. If you disagree with anything I have said, you are wrong.