just wasting time
ive been thinking alot lately. everything is changing, including me. the more things change or progress, i tighten my grasp to the way they are now. my habits, my friendships, everything is just so different. since graduation, ive felt like nothing would be the same, so i held on so tight, i suffocated things. i found in order to preserve things, i did things i wouldnt normally do with people i wouldnt normally do them with. Good friends and co-workers. i just feel like i may never see these people again so i have to do everything now. i remember when i wouldnt even think about doing those things like it was yesterday. i was so young, neive, and impressionable. and then came high school. i stopped caring and did things im not too proud of now.
ive also been thinking about other things too. i want to have kids. i want to be the cool mom. i want to take my daughter to pick out cool clothes. i want to buy her her first male stripper. i want to trust my kids. when i find them with marijuanna i want to be cool cause ill remember how i was when i was there age... so ill just take it and flush it and talk to them about it. i want to tell them about everything i did in highschool so they know how i made mistakes so they wont make the same ones. i want them to make their own mistakes.. so they can have their own experiences.
This fall is coming up fast. most are leaving, some arent. as much as ive complained about it the past several years, ive grown to love this small town. its predictable, its comforting, its always gonna be here. but its changing too. im scared when i leave it wont be the same when i come back.
Dream: Graduate college, buy a ranch in Montanna. Raise horses and cows. live in the mountains in my rustic log cabin surrounded by trees and my beautiful animals. Realistic? you tell me.
ive also been thinking about other things too. i want to have kids. i want to be the cool mom. i want to take my daughter to pick out cool clothes. i want to buy her her first male stripper. i want to trust my kids. when i find them with marijuanna i want to be cool cause ill remember how i was when i was there age... so ill just take it and flush it and talk to them about it. i want to tell them about everything i did in highschool so they know how i made mistakes so they wont make the same ones. i want them to make their own mistakes.. so they can have their own experiences.
This fall is coming up fast. most are leaving, some arent. as much as ive complained about it the past several years, ive grown to love this small town. its predictable, its comforting, its always gonna be here. but its changing too. im scared when i leave it wont be the same when i come back.
Dream: Graduate college, buy a ranch in Montanna. Raise horses and cows. live in the mountains in my rustic log cabin surrounded by trees and my beautiful animals. Realistic? you tell me.