i see the irony in this
I'm embarrassed by my blog; virtually nobody makes comments on it. Also, I'm disappointed in my few friends who would have cause to email me regularly but don't. There is always time, even for a quick line. My only explanation for the lack of love on this front is that once you label yourself as the reliable emailer, or avid blogger, people get a
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I am an insignificant speck of dust on the sole of humanities shoe. Isn't that the most wonderful thing you ever heard? I am fleeting. My body, my mind-it is all fleeting. Gone in the blink of an eye. I am, if I'm lucky, a single word on a page in the history of the universe. It makes me want to clap my hands and shout Martin Luthor-king style "Free, Free-thank god, free at last!". Then I stop clapping my hands, not because I've lost the happy feeling, but because all of a sudden all of these questions start rushing in.
How am I going to live my life?
What can I give to others? Why don't I give more? After all it is as easy as a smile, laughter or just an open ear.
How often do I dismiss people as boring without even talking to them? How many beautiful interesting stories and people have I missed because of it?
When I die will the most important words in my life be the unspoken ones? No, I think. Apprently I have developed the ability to predict the future. How nice for me.
As I'm typing this with every tap of a key a moment flies through my fingers. A moment with the potential to be a gem.
Some people will read this and think that I'm saying that there is no time. I'm not. They will think but you can't just go around saying what you want because you might die. That is how people get hurt. If that is what they are thinking then I'll say it a different way.
No one is watching. You have all the time in the world. There are very few things that you can not fix. In a sentence all I'm saying is think in the moment more often. Never stop asking your self why.
If you do you find out things. If you're like me you'll realise that you could be less selfish. That no matter how many times life knocks you down you will always get up. That you should reach out more often. That control is finite and pointless. That you work for what you want because no one is waiting to give it to you, but that mistakes don't because everyone is too busy looking at themselves...
That is why knowing that I'm fleeting makes me laugh. This is the lightest I have felt in ages.
Love you,
A.
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