Alive
No, I'm not dead. Just... Severely depressed.
I've been experiencing some of the "contact your doctor immediately" side-effects for Pristiq recently (and less recently-but I haven't noticed so much as everyone else around me has) and I've got ten more days until I can see my doctor about it. The worst feeling I have at the moment is the anhedonia. I just don't care anymore. About drawing. About writing. About anything.
So there's that.
The bad thoughts I keep having are tiresome. In my darker moments I came up with some distressing plans, but I never did anything. I just hate that my brain can go there. Which just makes me hate myself even more.
Right now I'm nauseated and shaky. Everything is too loud and I can't stand the sound of my dad's voice. I've been getting irrationally angry at everything. The feeling of my hair against my cheek and neck bothers me-it feels like my skin is trying to crawl off of me. Like what happens when I forget to take my medication. Except I haven't.
Ten more days. That's not too long, right?
As for the Bad Knee®, things went from "good" to "okay" to "no fucking change." I'm back at a level of constant irritating pain and there is nothing I can do about it.
So that's it. That's why I haven't been posting or writing or drawing. I'm in kind of a bad place. Just... Yeah.
I've been experiencing some of the "contact your doctor immediately" side-effects for Pristiq recently (and less recently-but I haven't noticed so much as everyone else around me has) and I've got ten more days until I can see my doctor about it. The worst feeling I have at the moment is the anhedonia. I just don't care anymore. About drawing. About writing. About anything.
So there's that.
The bad thoughts I keep having are tiresome. In my darker moments I came up with some distressing plans, but I never did anything. I just hate that my brain can go there. Which just makes me hate myself even more.
Right now I'm nauseated and shaky. Everything is too loud and I can't stand the sound of my dad's voice. I've been getting irrationally angry at everything. The feeling of my hair against my cheek and neck bothers me-it feels like my skin is trying to crawl off of me. Like what happens when I forget to take my medication. Except I haven't.
Ten more days. That's not too long, right?
As for the Bad Knee®, things went from "good" to "okay" to "no fucking change." I'm back at a level of constant irritating pain and there is nothing I can do about it.
So that's it. That's why I haven't been posting or writing or drawing. I'm in kind of a bad place. Just... Yeah.