Busy little bee, that's me!
A while ago I watched Black Snake Moan for the first time and this got me thinking...
I keep running across movies I missed that first time around when they were in theaters and I am absolutely kicking myself for this. I keep passing up these great dramas because I think: "Oh, I'll get so bored!" OR, I find hidden gems elsewhere that I get mad about not seeing in the theaters because the tension in them is so great and new. So, I've made a list of a few and included reasons why these movies are so great to me. There will be more like this.
Not in any particular order whatsoever...
Movies That I Consider Fan-Friggin-Tastic That You May Or May Not Have Seen:
Inglourious Basterds
Newest film on this list, of course. And one of my favorites. I personally love how Tarantino divides his films into "chapters" with titles and everything and though it's a fictional take on certain events, it's definitely something I wished had happened during the war. First off, I have to discuss Eli Roth.
I love Cabin Fever. I'm not a huge fan of the Hostel movies (I mean, I liked that Paxton gets away in the first one, but...That's a whole other post on its own). But in regards to Eli himself, I think he's fantastic. And as Donny "The Bear Jew" Donowitz I think I've got a crush.
I actually had great grandparents who immigrated from Germany just before the war started. Why? Just because their last name was "Schultz" and they happened to be Jewish. My German and French (great grandfather who passed early on-great grandma remarried a Louisiana Frenchman) Jewish relatives escaped before the gestapo came-before Hitler's rise to power. They set up a new home in Louisiana and that is where my grandmother (who to this day still speaks with a Lousiana accent despite her living in Texas) met my grandfather, married him, had my dad in Baton Rouge and moved to the middle of Texas to start a dairy. I didn't really know the whole story of my great grandparents until I did some research, and even then I'm missing some facts, but my point is-I did indeed get that same face Donny has in those last few minutes. That twisted satisfaction...
Okay. Now that a new crush is out in the air, let's talk about Brad. I think this has to be one of my more favorite roles of his. Out of Tyler, Rusty, and Benjamin... Aldo Raine takes the cake and hacks it up with that knife of his (which brought to mind Jayne Cobb and his knife: "Pain is scary."). I love how he says he speaks "Eye-talian" best out of the three who know it in the Basterds, but he is absolutely awful at it (as a matter of fact, of the three who do know it, Omar-who knows the least-has the best accent and Donny is pretty decent at it).
Now! The movie itself! Starts off in that serious, frightening place of Nazi-occupied France and really gets me to the point of tears. It sets up our main villain of the film for what his nickname really means. Hans Landa: "The Jew Hunter." Yes. He hunts and kills Jews. And yes, I absolutely hate him with how goddamn polite he is and how he thinks he's above everything. There's actually hope at one point-hope that's dashed upon the rocks as Landa has his he reveals he's known where those in hiding have been since he walked in the door and has his soldiers shoot the shit out of the floorboards. The first chapter is devastating and had me curled up in my seat, but then we are introduced to the Basterds in chapter two. And I love this chapter.
As Lt. Raine explains what he wants from his men the look on his senior officer's face-the look on Sgt. Donowitz's face-explains it all. The Basterds are not normal Jewish American soldiers. They are angry and basically fucking scary Jewish American soldiers. And Lt. Raine wants scalps. Hence his nickname "The Apache."
The scene in the ditch, where a soldier who survived the Basterds explains to Hitler what happened, is absolutely perfect. Tension is built, Raine toys with the senior officer, introduces the Basterds (to include Hugo, a Nazi-killing German they recruited right out of prison), and demands to know where the next sniper nest is. When Sgt. Werner "respectfully refuses" we hear five hard taps down the tunnel behind Aldo. The Lieutenant explains the sound, asks if the Nazi knows who "The Bear Jew" is and what he does, and corrects him on the whole club issue. It's not a club. It's a fucking baseball bat. And if he doesn't point out where those snipers are and what ammo they're using, he's going to let Donny take his bat and "beat [his] ass to death with it".
Sgt. Werner's response? "Fuck you. And your Jew dogs!"
"Actually, we're all tickled to year you say that. Quite frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death's the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies. Donny!"
From deep within the drainage tunnel: "Yeah!"
"Got us a German here who wants to die fer country. Oblige him."
"The Surrender [la Resa]" begins to play. I love Quentin's musical choices...
We see the tunnel and hear the bat clanging off pipes 23 times (yes, I counted) before we actually see Donny come out of the tunnel.
Tension is built and we know we've seen a glimpse of Donny before, but this is different. We're being re-introduced to this character in his "natural habitat." When he emerges, Donny is carrying a scarred, bloodied bat (with signatures from his Jewish neighbors in his hometown of Boston) and is wearing at least four or five German dog tags (he might have had more) on a couple of long cords around his neck. In the cold, he's only in his sleeveless undershirt, corduroy trousers, and suspenders, and the term "Bear" does come to mind when you see him. Eli Roth cuts an imposing figure. He approaches the Nazi, stops walking with what can only be described as a beastly predator manner, taps the man's iron cross medal with the end of the bat and asks:
"[Did]ja get that for killing Jews?"
"Bravery."
With a nod and a smirk, Donny hits a home run on the asshole's head and beats him to a pulp when he ends up on the ground. ("Teddy fuckin' Williams knocks it outta the park!") I was sitting there with probably the most sadistic smile on my face during this scene... I watched an interview with Eli which he mentioned something about this movie not being the first time he's carried around a bat (it's a normal thing for Bostonians-personally, I'm partial to my lacrosse stick.) and that he and Brad stayed in character throughout the shoot.
There is so much more to this movie... But all I can say is as far as Tarantino films go, this one is definitely my favorite.
Even more than the Kill Bill movies, Death Proof (only Eli's cameo was worth that movie-and the girls beating the shit out of Stuntman Mike at the very end) Reservoir Dogs, or Pulp Fiction. The "talky" moments that Tarantino loves so much were actually riveting in Inglourious Basterds. I think he set that up with that first "chapter." Though I'll never understand why he spelled the title so wonky... I know of other "Inglorious Bastard" movies, and I guess he's just making a statement that this one will never be confused for one of them... I don't know.
On a final note, Sam Jackson narrates certain moments. He's a perfect choice.
Inglourious Basterds is going to be one of those movies I watch repeatedly when I get bored-like I used to do in Algebra II. I had The Matrix and Pirates of the Caribbean memorized, so I'd just "play" them in my head. For serious, the other night Mom said "Eye-talian" and I lost it. I couldn't stop laughing and no one could share. THIS MUST CHANGE, DAMMIT.
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Outlander
On the back of the DVD, Tom Long of Detroit News says: "Honestly. Best. Movie. Ever." This makes me giggle like a silly little girl-it's actually a really cool re-imagining of the legend of Beowulf.
OKAY! Remember the actual story of Beowulf? And the idea of Predator? Mix those together. Add Jim Caviezel, Sophia Myles, Ron Perlman, and John Hurt and a freaking cool monster that is from a completely different planet.
Boom-crash landing in the middle of the night in a lake in Herot, Norway, Kainan buries his copilot and turns on a homing beacon before using this waaaaay advanced tech to learn the native language. And, unlike the "orgasm of knowledge" like in The Matrix, this literally makes our hero blow chunks. Because, honestly? Wouldn't all that forced information make you feel nauseous?
So now he knows Norse and we get it all as English.
Anyway, he grabs a gun and runs off to follow tracks left behind from something that escaped the wreck. In his tracking, Kainan loses the gun/blaster to a river and is taken prisoner by Wulfric.
This sort of makes Kainan "Beowulf." As the original literary hero was a Geat who visited Hrothgar (Rothgar in this) on the sole purpose to slay the monster Grendel, Kainan brought the monster (Moorwen) with him. But, no one believes him when he says he was hunting a "dragon" and assumes he is a spy of another Norse tribe.
Amidst this, Rothgar is locked in a decade-long feud with Gunnar (Ron Perlman with a bitchin' beard and shaved head)-who blames the loss of the outward village Kainan was found near (where there was a whale carcass but no bodies).
Thing is, this monster has destroyed Gunnar's village and he wants to take it out on Rothgar's people. Amidst all this, we have Freya (Sophia Myles-who I think is underrated as an actress), Rothgar's daughter, who must choose her husband soon. Rothgar likes the idea of Wulfric ruling after him. But from what I see between the two of them is more of brother/sister bantering. No sexual tension.
However, when Freya goes to the cabin where Kainan is tied to a central pole, there's a spark. How can't there be a spark when this stranger looks as hot as Jim Caviezel?
Super details aside, on a hunt for Kainan's "dragon," Kainan eventually makes himself useful by killing a huge-ass bear that was a claw away from ripping Rothgar's neck open and gains his freedom. Freedom, a hut of his own, and some leather armor and bearskin trophies (he's been in his thin sleeveless futuristic shirt), enters the mead hall, and is cheered by Boromir (the comic relief) to start everyone going.
What it all boils down to is the Norse believing Kainan, A trap that kinda works but kinda doesn't, then a final battle between the monster with Kainan and Wulfric (to rescue Freya). Since the only ones left are Freya and Kainan, Wulfric hands over the king's seal to Kainan.
In the cover of night, Kainan returns to his beacon and just as the ship is arriving, he breaks it in a shower of sparks.
Freya is watching in the shadows.
In the end, Freya still thinks Kainan is sent by the gods and marries him. And in the end I really want the story to keep going....
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Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus
For those of you who don't know who Diane Arbus is, she's a portrait photographer famous for taking portraits of men and women who most of us don't label as "normal."
I love her work. "Boy with a Toy Grenade" is particularly striking. The black and white processed film emphasizes certain characteristics that make the strange just beautiful.
ANYWAY, Fur is about Diane's Alice & Wonderland-like transformation from her husband's assistant to the woman she became famous as. It's a fictional take on what might have happened, but she takes a journey. Of the mind and heart... On a night meant to honor her husband's studio and her parents' fur business, Lionel Sweeney moves in upstairs.
He's got hypertrichosis. It's the very real affliction that causes hair follicles to form in every pore. All we can see of Lionel (Robert Downey Jr.) are his lips and the deep set warmth of his eyes. And his voice. He speaks very quietly throughout the movie and it's quite the transformation.
To put it most succinctly, Diane is like Alice and Lionel introduces her to Wonderland-a place she's been looking for all her life but has been unable to find it on her own. Once she finds Wonderland, she finds out where her art can come from.
Visually, the film is rich and lush with color and atmosphere. The reason I'm writing about this one is the simple fact that Robert mentioned it on Friday Night With Johnathan Ross and no one knew what he was talking about. It's an odd one, but a good one. I love the visuals and the story.
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Sunshine
The sun is dying. Icarus II is a ship sent to it with a nuclear payload to dump into the sun and buy those of the people still on Earth some more time with the sun.
Space, long trips in it, drive some people loopy. Case and point: Mace (Chris Evans) beating up Capa (Cillian Murphy) for taking too long in communications to leave his last transmission home. And Searle, the ship's shrink, has become obsessed with watching the sun without the UV filter up at 100%. His face progresses from slight sunburn to peeling skin and cracked lips by the time he leaves the film for good. The captain of the Icarus II sacrifices himself when someone makes a mathematical error (when changing course to meet up with Icarus I and see what went wrong there) and the ship's shield is at an incorrect angle. Mace, who I think must have been raised by a military family or had military training, insists that they continue with their mission and dump the payload in the sun-the mission is more important than their lives. Not everyone has this viewpoint. It doesn't help that he is the only character in this film that only thinks of the needs of the many over the needs of the few (if I can rip-off a quote from Wrath of Khan). My dad kept agreeing with Mace's "do-or-die" militarily motives. Anyway, after the captain dies and Searle also sacrifices himself...
Everything goes downhill from there.
It's a great movie-dramatic and kind of scary in that great Danny Boyle sense...
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Black Snake Moan
Beyond the lovely blues soundtrack, I'm not sure how to describe it... Okay, Samuel L. Jackson's character, Lazarus, is probably the kindest man on the planet. It may not seem that way, but it's how I see it. To think that his ex-wife left him because he made her feel "old" and moved on to his younger brother... She wasn't too smart (which was okay by the end, because the lovely S. Epatha Merkerson as the sweet Miss Angela saw what a catch Laz was and hung on to him). The fact that he takes such time to heal a broken, feverish, and beaten Rae who had been left on the side of the road (Christina Ricci looking like she needs to eat a lot more than she does else her backbone touch her ribs)-that he brings his Reverend friend in for her to talk to (while she's chained to the radiator-sounds freaky, but the actual fact is it became an anchor to reality for her) shows more of his goodness.
I particularly liked the scene where Rae was sitting at the dining table with R.L. (the Reverend) and he didn't preach to her but just... Let her talk it out. Something she rarely was given the chance. And during the stormy night, Lazarus is given his chance to "talk out" his own troubles to Rae with the help of an amp and a sweet guitar. He tells her about his wife and how much he loved her-wanted a family with her... But apparently Rose didn't want a family and went off one afternoon and had an abortion without telling him what she was doing. Not until she came home "without that glow" and he knew but asked anyway... Rose said she "got rid of it." And Lazarus describes the feeling of helpless emptiness with such perfection-that "black snake moan" that pulls you down... It really is what depression feels like. There's this dark, leathery animal that preys on you and strikes at your weakest moments and you feel like there isn't a thing in the world that can make that hurt feel any better.
The "I stopped breathing" (literally, I was holding my breath during almost the entirety of the scene) moment for me in this movie was when Lazarus took Rae into town (post radiator-chain and a few new dresses and healthy meals later) with his crops (I craved corn on the cob for days after I watched this...) and she reluctantly left his side (in my mind, post-radiator Rae had Laz as an anchor) to go inside the market to confront her mother.
Now, outside, Miss Angela and Lazarus are being real sweet and cute together to the point where I just wanted a picture of the two of them. I literally squealed aloud.
Inside, Rae finds her mother using a price gun on the bread. She tries to make amends-tries to get her mother to be a mother that Rae previously denied her with that "fuck off" attitude. Rejected, Rae turns to leave, but Laz came into town with a purpose and so did she-so she turns...
"I just think you should'a kept him off me, that's all."
"The hell are you talkin' about?"
"Now see? Don't do that. I'll go along with all you say about me, but that... You can't pretend no more on that. 'Cause I was just a kid, Momma. I didn't know about any of that stuff he was doin' to me. And you let him do it. Some big nobody in your life... and you let him do as he wanted with the only SOMEBODY you had."
Her mother grabs her by the arm and marches her toward the end of the aisle and Rae just... CHANGES into this poor little girl with her hair done up in its ponytail and that cute dress colorful and sweet... She diminishes.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to shout..."
"All my life I been puttin' out your fires with you givin' out your snatch to every waggin' dick in this town. And you gonna lay the blame at my feet? Well, I ain't gonna take that."
"But... Momma... Just tell me-not gonna be mad, we can just talk about it... Be eye to eye on this... You don't even have to say you're sorry-just say how you knew-"
"Only thing I'm sorry for is listenin' to my parents and having you instead of doin' what I should'a done."
She leaves her there next to a sponge mop display, and all of the air has gushed out of my lungs along with Rae's at this confession. I literally put both hands over my mouth and just started sobbing. Rae, on the other hand, grabs one of the mops and starts beating her mother with it, while screaming:
"...tell me you don't know... goddamn LIAR! SAY IT! JUST FUCKING SAY IT!"
Outside, Miss Angela is giving Laz an impromptu concert after confessing that she wants to sing in the church choir. As she sings he begins to take notice of the crowd gathering at the front of the market. Rae is still screaming at her mother-screaming at the grocers to let her go "get him off me" and Lazarus bursts in, tells them to let go of her, and reaches down to grab her arm.
"Rae, gal, you hearin' my voice?!"
And there's her anchor.
As he carries her outside, I feel myself breathe again.
There's much more to this movie, but that scene in particular really stuck with me.
Now, I've been a fan of Sam Jackson since I was allowed to watch Sphere and Jurassic Park (that last one I missed out on for a while since it came out when we lived on Crete) as a kid, and I feel privileged to watch a movie with him in it. Even when he's got a short role or an unseen role (narrating) he lends this presence to all of his characters. Lazarus, with his uncouth tongue and genuine heartfelt nature, is probably my favorite character of his. Lazarus seems like someone I would know. The kind of guy that, if you knew him from around town and bought your corn and tomatoes from him every weekend, you would give him one of those "thank you for being you" hugs when you gathered up your things to head home and make a kickass fresh dinner. I've never had the chance to live in a community that small or build that sort of relationship with someone, but I imagine he and I would get on famously. And I'd tease the hell out of him for making Miss Angela that lotion.
I swear to God, this movie is the reason I'd break "meeting a movie star" etiquette with Sam Jackson and go straight for the hug.
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Hush
Little known gem from the UK. Freakishly realistic-guy, Zakes, has fight with girlfriend, girlfriend disappears at a gas station/convenience store, guy finds out that girlfriend has been kidnapped by a freak in a truck with more half-naked/chained girls in the back. Police don't believe guy and guy must free all these other girls and his own girlfriend and stop the freaky trucker. There's the plot.
WTF scene: truker's girlfriend knocks "boyfriend" out and kills an elderly couple. "boyfriend" wakes up with his hands nailed to the floor.
Ow.
Oh my God, OW.
There's so much more to it, but jeepers...
DVD is unavailable on region one, and this pisses me off. Because it's good.
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[REC]
This is the original Spanish (shot in Barcelona) film that inspired Quarantine. And from what I can tell, Angela speaks with a Castillian accent and they use Spanish (not Mexicano or Cubano) slang. For me, it makes watching the movie a hundred times easier because I actually understand the spoken Castillian Spanish better than "school Spanish." Much like in El Orfanato I could watch rather than "read" subtitles. This may not be the case with others, but I found it much easier to connect with these people when I could still understand them. It's why I like watching Japanese horror films (in addition to the terribly sad stories that end up coming out of the narrative).
It is much more gory than Quarantine. The fireman who falls from the top floor has a bite in his cheek that gets a very graphic close-up shot when he's given a painkiller right in the wound. And the cop that gets bit? Chunks, my fellow horror film fans. We get skin chunks.
The seven year old girl who is sick is named Jennifer. I LOVE THE IRONY HERE. And her mother is a lovely nervous wreck: "I am going to sue. I am definitely going to sue."
Unfortunately, the guy who patches up the cop and fireman as best he can is an intern, not a vet. So we don't get the realistic explanation of an accelerated form of rabies at the point when the CDC comes in to check. And no head drill. But FUCK is it scary when the biting happens again in that back room of the textile factory. That little girl is terrifying, too. She sounds like a pissed off cat when she goes all nuts.
And Angela can swear like a sailor. We never really see Pablo completely-not like Scott in the English remake.
We do, however, get an explanation for what the hell is in the room below the attic-a Portuguese girl who has been reported as possessed. And guys, you know you're going to see her when Pablo tips the camera up to look into the attic, but even though I have this knowledge, she still scared the ever loving SHIT out of me.
I want to see this on the big screen. There are several movies on this list that I would love to see on the big screen.
EXCELLENT movie. Made just all that much cooler because the DP played Pablo (and his name happens to be Pablo Rosso).
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Splinter
This movie genuinely freaked me out. Normally horror/thriller films don't do that, but I suppose the originality of Splinter was enough... Subtle special effects-"zombies" with no explanation as to why this "splinter" creature showed up and started infecting people.
That's the best type of horror. The unexplained. A reason why Alien was successful was that the origination of the ship on LV-426 was never explained.
Despite the fact that a pair of disembodied, seemingly intelligent hands would seem cheesy as an effect, it is seriously freakish in that face-hugger WHAT THE FUCK sort of way.
Anyway, the scene where Farell's hand is finally taken over by the splinter he got while changing a tire is absolutely painful to watch. His fingers bend backwards and snap and the hand blindly reaches back for one of the two others in the room with him. Back so far that his elbow snaps and they cut off his arm to save him.
But they don't have anything but a box cutter and two cinder blocks.
"Guess I underestimated you. Can't change a tire, but fuck if you can't chop off an arm."
OH MAN IT'S SO PAINFUL TO WATCH.
Speaking of that, the director "tweeted" me with a little "thanks for talking about our indie horror film!" and I checked out the movie website.
They sell shirts with a line from the movie on it:
"It's okay... We're cutting your arm off."
Quite possibly, Splinter is the best indie horror film I've seen in my entire life (with the exception of the Evil Dead movies that started indie horror). Good movie. Great visuals and creature effects. The DVD is $25 at Best Buy, but it's definitely worth it to see how in the world they did those "splinter people." Lots of crab walking and some kickass makeup effects.
I mentioned watching this movie over on Twitter and got a "thanks for mentioning us" tweet from the director. That made my day.
They thank Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert in the credits. AMEN TO THE EVIL DEAD CREW! XD
One last thing: Shea Whigham, the guy who plays Dennis Farell, hardly gets enough talk about his acting skills. I've seen him in a few other movies, and in each one he steals all my attention. He's in quite a few Indie flicks (The Killing Room is another worthwhile watch). Check him out.
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Penelope (UK cut-the American DVD left out A LOT)
First off, I want Christina Ricci's entire wardrobe from this movie and I want my wedding dress to look exactly like hers with the corset and fluttery white train and little tasteful tiara. She looked like a princess... Hell, she's just friggin' cute in this whole movie.
"Those were the last of the Ho-Hos!"
"I'll buy you some more." (her mother, the ever funny Catherine O'Hara)
"I'm old enough to buy my own Ho-Hos!" (as she's putting her coat on)
"Buy me some cigarette's while you're out, will you?" (this line, Miss Matchmaker, is changed on the DVD to "chocolate.")
Anyway, it's a story about a blue blood family curse that Penelope (Ricci) has been inflicted with. She's got the face of a pig (just the ears and nose really-and the nose gets to be really adorable after a while) and it'll go away once one of "her own kind" loves her. So her mother and a hired on matchmaker hold interviews.
Man, the US DVD leaves out so many important plot points to cut back on time...
In any case, there are humorous moments, sad moments, dramatic moments, and James McAvoy looking all scruffy and hot.
Also, Nick Frost has a short role in it-with a perfect American accent.
I bought the DVD and downloaded the torrent-both are worth it, actually. The DVD for the movie's profit, and the torrent for what I call the "extended edition."
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Dreamcatcher
DON'T LAUGH, I LIKED THIS MOVIE.
Okay, this one is old, but I recently rewatched it and... Jeez it's so freaking close to the book. The part where Henry and Owen (who I kept going: "DUDE! Titus' son in the Julie Taymor movie! The only son that made it through to the end and had a soliloquy!") are in the truck and Henry uses Owen's gun as a "phone handset" to telepathically talk to Jonesy was exactly how I pictured it when I read the book. I mean, right down to Thomas Jane's hair as Henry... This movie has perfect casting. And, yes, the scene where Beaver drops his toothpicks when he's sitting on the toilet lid to keep the "weasel" monster from escaping is in the book-he really does try to reach for the one that didn't land in the blood.
Like so many Stephen King movies, "Dreamcatcher" is full of all kinds of weird shit-but this movie (and The Mist) is almost the only one I've seen where it really does "feel" like the book. EXCELLENT.
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The Accidental Husband
Why the hell did none of us go and see this? I remember the posters (the ones that weren't horribly Photoshopped) of Uma Thurman on the cover of a book with devil horns and a mustaches drawn on her face... But I still didn't go see it. And why didn't I? It's got JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN in it, for Christ's sake.
Okay, it's not on DVD yet-I admit to downloading it because I looked and went: "wait, he was in that little blip in my memory? Jesus, I gotta check this out."
It's funny. It's painful. It's adorable and great to see Uma Thurman do some more comedy because she's excellent.
And Jeffrey as a firefighter?
How perfect is that?
DVD is still unavailable-but the torrent is online.
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The Mist
Yes, I am bringing up another Stephen King movie. With Thomas Jane in it. Whatever-he's the perfect "Stephen King protagonist." And I seriously hope they do a Dark Tower series and cast Thomas...
Drew Struzan artwork at the beginning? This movie won me over before it really started. And I've read the book. I love the book. More than "The Shining."
The ending, as the director stated on the commentary: Stephen King approved and actually said he wished he'd written it that way, scared the bejezus out of me and make me weep like a little baby. God DAMN, Thomas Jane is one powerful actor. The screaming he does isn't that standard "horror movie" bottled nonsense, but actual painful sounding ANGUISH where these noises just come up from your gut and you have to let them out even though it sounds like nonsense... The horror of trying to form words-having none-having nothing left but the skin you occupy and you no longer want to own even that...
So much pain.
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The Punisher
Yes, another Thomas Jane flick. And unlike most people, I actually enjoyed this movie. Normally, I see "John Travolta" in the credits and I run, but... He wasn't being "John Travolta" for once. Not at all. Besides, what Tom did with the character of Frank Castle just... Made the Punisher so much more believable as a character, period. And Castle is just a normal guy who happens to know his weapons. He's not superhuman. He doesn't have any armor beyond Kevlar. He's just a really pissed off guy.
And even without the ability to go all fiery at night and turn into a skull, he manages to be fifty million times more badass than Nic Cage or Ghost Rider. Period. The only cool thing about that movie? Sam Elliott (Roadhouse, anyone?). Who has the coolest voice ever.
One worrisome thing, this is the third movie I've seen of Thomas Jane's where he puts a loaded gun anywhere near his own head with the intention of pulling the trigger.
Dumb thing-but the fight between Frank and the Russian is friggin' hilarious. As are the outtakes from it (he's getting his head slammed in the fridge door, and Thomas takes a break by getting a sip of milk and eating a sardine before saying: "go ahead" and resumes the take. The best outtake is of Tom slamming a paper-cutter blade (which I have accidentally cut a finger on before) into the camera repeatedly, then he stalks back to his mark and shouts: "I love my job!"
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The Spirit
First off, don't hate! While we're on a comic movie roll here, let's go with another not-much-liked flick that I actually enjoyed. It's fun! There's a Greek myth involved! And I love Gabriel Macht. I love his voice overs. I love the fact that his character trips every so often-and doesn't use a gun. He's not superhuman. He just... Can't die.
ScarJo is the right hand of Sam Jackson (as "Octopus")-and she's friggin' hilarious. The girl's got some great comic timing (I secretly loved The Nannie Diaries) and bitching cat-eye framed glasses. I want a pair to wear around when I feel smug.
Regardless of what the critics say about this, after listening to the DVD commentary and remembering the things I did about the original comic, I felt that The Spirit kept that playful yet serious tone from the graphic novel.
And Gabriel was a perfect casting choice. The Spirit is loved by the ladies, but his true lady is his city. We ladies in the audience can't help but adore him-how cute he is and how beautiful his voice sounds... But we don't stand a chance with him. *sigh* C'est la vie.
Speaking of that, his French is... Mmmmmm... Sexy. And Gabriel has some gorgeous blue eyes...
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The Edge
Here's the IMDb summary: "Billionaire Charles Morse accompanies his supermodel wife Mickey to photo shoot at Alaska. The shoot is to be made by fashion photographer Robert Green. To find specific Indian for the shoot, they fly to even more distant location, where their small plane crashes into a lake. To survive in the woods full of man-killing bears they need each other, but the smarter of the men - Charles is suspicious that Robert is having an affair with his wife."
Full of? There's one. Bears don't gather in herds or anything. In fact, bears are loners-only come together to mate and you only see more than one at a time if it's a momma with her cubs. But whatever.
And the specific thing was Charles asking Bob in the plane before the bird strike knocked the plane out of the air: "So how are you planning on killing me, Bob?"
He knew. It gets confirmed later, but Charles is not stupid.
Anthony Hopkins, with that velvet cool voice of his, is such an intelligent man as Charles Morse-he has all these random fact packed up in his head (much like me) but it's these random facts and bits of information that inevitably save his life after the crash. Especially when it comes to the bear.
Ah, The Bear (played by Bart, the same bear at the end of Legends of the Fall, another Anthony Hopkins flick)... Bart was an Alaskan brown bear that stood at over nine and a half feet tall and weighed over 17000 pounds. He is referred to as a Kodiak Bear and is... Well, he's fucking huge. And their first encounter with him... He swats at this log Charles is hanging off of over some freakishly cold water and with my sound system, you can hear the sound of the ground moving. He's huge, all muscle, and when Charles looks him in the eye ("look him in the eyes to let him know that you know he's there and back away real slow") you can actually see this calculating intelligence there. Yes, he's a trained bear-whatever. The bear did better than Alec Baldwin (the true antagonist) in this movie.
Let's talk about that last statement in those parenthesis. Alec-Bob-has concocted this whole trip to find a way to kill Charles and steal his wife.
But Charles, even after he finds out about the reality of this plan, still has the goodness in his heart to keep on with the "let's get rescued" plan they had-forgave Bob even. I remember thinking, "how can anyone be this good? This has to be cinema's kindest character..." Sure, he kills a 17000 pound Kodiak bear with a pointed stick ("What one man can do, another can do!" "Today? I'm gonna kill the mutha-fucka.") because not only are they starving, but Bart's been stalking them ever since he got a little taste of human from chowing down on Stephen early on. But to look this other man in the eye after having this same man point a rifle at him with every intent to shoot and sincerely forgive him when he asks for it... That is the mark of a rare man.
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Eden Log
French grungy scifi! Starts off in that weird place that was exactly like those irritating dreams where you can't keep your eyes open so you can only glimpse a bright image every three seconds but you can still hear everything. Two things are established right away. One, it's frickin' cold and muddy. Two, our main character doesn't know who or where the hell he is or how he got there.
Also? He's half naked in the cold mud.
Yeah. I think I did have a nightmare like this once.
Anyway, he crawls up a level in...wherever he is and finds a quilted jumpsuit and a better flashlight than the one he found in the dead guy's hands ("pry it from my cold, dead fingers" includes some irritated shaking and appendage breaking). Then he finds a rotary door and some "welcome to the lower mines" talking heads (lots-in several languages) that are projected onto the wall.
It's a long, complicated plot that only makes sense when you watch it, but the confusion and absolute desolation the main character feels is just as strong as it should be. Visually, Eden Log is just... Stunning. The colors are desaturated to leave in blues, deep blacks, blinding whites, greys, and hints of skintone (bare hints at that).
The twist at the end is a lot like the Soylent Green kind of twist.
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Highwaymen
OKAY. This is about a guy, Rennie, taking revenge on a serial hit-and-run driver for killing his wife. He did get some immediate revenge at first by slamming into him right after his wife is killed-but ended up serving three years in prison for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon (his car). Since that, he's learned how to drive like a pro, souped up a 'Cuda to the point where it isn't necessarily street legal (he's got racing harnesses in it). The Hit-And-Run man is all prosthetics, but that doesn't stop him from doing all the same creepy "I'm-killing-you-with-my-beat-to-shit-car-and-taking-something-of-yours-when-I'm-done" stuff.
We get a second protagonist, a story tactic I'm not too fond of, named Molly. Who does not and cannot drive. Her parents, we learn, were killed by a hit and run drunk driver when she was little and only she and the other driver survived the wreck.
Molly is being chased by Hit-And-Run (who has a name, but I can't be bovvered to look it up). She is saved by Rennie (after meeting him in an "**accident survivors support group") and soon learns of this epic grudge match she's suddenly become a part of. In the end, the traffic investigator (a cop without a gun who happened to take an interest in Rennie's history and followed him) saves everyone and finally gets to use a shotgun to exact justice. And even though we (and Molly) expect Rennie to vanish into thin air once the cops come, he's there to hold onto her as a paramedics look them over. The stunts are a great component of this movie. As are the cars-who become characters in their own ways. The 'Cuda is pieced together from junkyard parts but runs like new and the one-eyed-Jack El Dorado is beat to shit but somehow still working.
**for the record, having been involved in a so-called "accident" with a drunk driver, I hate this term. In Hot Fuzz, Nick corrects Danny on this and says to call it a "collision" because "'accident' implies there was no one at fault." Whenever I think about that night, I get sense memories all over my body... My feet go numb and I remember such screaming-then realizing I was the one screaming and my seatbelt was almost choking me and the back of my head was throbbing from the rear windshield shattering against it... I don't remember when I went from screaming to sitting roadside and yelling "I dreamed this! I saw this happen!" at the drunken woman who emerged loose-limbed from her Explorer directly behind us. There is a large blank spot from me commenting on the locking seatbelts actually working in the back of my sister's new/used car (three hours in her possession) and then me wondering where the screams were coming from. I kept on finding bits of security glass in all sorts of places while we were in the hospital with my sister-and truthfully I should have been checked out because I had a headache for three days straight and was dry heaving when my mom forced me to my feet by the wreck... But that's not a movie. That's just what this movie in particular got me thinking about.
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Unknown
IFC film that is, well, rather unknown. Jean Jacket (Jim Caviezel-who still shocks me when I watch De Ja Vu and he's the villain after Frequency and one of my favorites: The Count of Monte Cristo) wakes up in a warehouse surrounded by other unconscious men. There's Hand-cuffed Man (shot in the left lung), Joe Pantoliano tied to a chair, Greg Kinnear knocked the hell out with a shovel, Flannel Shirt (who wakes up after Jean Jacket), and a dead security guard in a locker.
Why can't they remember who they are or why they're there? A canister of something that they've all been exposed to and it's fucking DANGEROUS. The whole point is there has been a kidnapping, a ransom is being paid as these men are trying to make sense of things (getting flashes of who they were thanks to the aid of a bathroom mirror)-they all discover that one or more of them could be the kidnapper of two of them. Even I was unconvinced as to who was who up until the final moments outside the conflict when the last two guys are sitting in the backs of ambulances across from each other and the distraught wife is reunited with her husband.
But there's another twist in this.
Such an unseen twist that I can't tell ya'll-you've got to see it for yourselves.
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Titus
Anthony Hopkins film directed by Julie Taymor (Across The Universe). Here, to make it quick, it the IMDb summary:
War begets revenge. Victorious general, Titus Andronicus, returns to Rome with hostages: Tamora queen of the Goths and her sons. He orders the eldest hewn to appease the Roman dead. He declines the proffered emperor's crown, nominating Saturninus, the last ruler's venal elder son. Saturninus, to spite his brother Bassianus, demands the hand of Lavinia, Titus's daughter. When Bassianus, Lavinia, and Titus's sons flee in protest, Titus stands against them and slays one of his own. Saturninus marries the honey-tongued Tamora, who vows vengeance against Titus. The ensuing maelstrom serves up tongues, hands, rape, adultery, racism, and Goth-meat pie. There's irony in which two sons survive
The visuals Julie employs are strange but purposeful-the rape and torture of Lavinia is done in a way that shows the violence without actually showing the violence. But when her uncle finds her, she is indeed broken-her tongue removed and her hands replaced with branches.
It's not a movie for the weak of stomach-Titus is a man who will chop off his own hand for the lives of his sons and bake Lavinia's rapists into two meat pies. If you liked the visuals of Across The Universe and know the Shakespearean tale of "Titus Andronicus," then this is the best (if oddest) adaptation of the play. It's spoken in the original Shakespearean way much like Baz's Romeo+Juliet. But it's better.
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Gabriel
Best "undiscovered gem" for last! This little adventure from Australia is... Powerful, to say the least. Andy Whitfield, possibly one of the hottest men on the planet plays the Archangel Gabriel, sent to Purgatory to "bring back the Light" to those who have been deceived and corrupted by the Fallen. Sent back in human form. So the beginning, when he lands, he's so disoriented and confused-sounds are too loud, he's unused to how his voice works and by the time he stumbles to his feet, he's like a colt on new legs-tripping over the ends of his boots.
Lovely visual imagery, the message of "free will" (denied to Angels), and meaningful speeches from the Archs and Gabriel especially.
There is one sex scene. But it's touching, not exploitative. It's a scene that felt... Real. For both Gabriel and Jade (the Arc, Amitiel whose wings were taken from her by Sammael) it felt like, the pair of them were discovering something...human. For Amitiel, real love as opposed to the painful things Sammael put her through.
And the twist at the end is just as shocking and painful to the viewer as it is to our hero. It's sad, and oh so good... And after all that happens, the clouds break, the rain stops, and the sun finally shines.
I keep running across movies I missed that first time around when they were in theaters and I am absolutely kicking myself for this. I keep passing up these great dramas because I think: "Oh, I'll get so bored!" OR, I find hidden gems elsewhere that I get mad about not seeing in the theaters because the tension in them is so great and new. So, I've made a list of a few and included reasons why these movies are so great to me. There will be more like this.
Not in any particular order whatsoever...
Movies That I Consider Fan-Friggin-Tastic That You May Or May Not Have Seen:
Inglourious Basterds
Newest film on this list, of course. And one of my favorites. I personally love how Tarantino divides his films into "chapters" with titles and everything and though it's a fictional take on certain events, it's definitely something I wished had happened during the war. First off, I have to discuss Eli Roth.
I love Cabin Fever. I'm not a huge fan of the Hostel movies (I mean, I liked that Paxton gets away in the first one, but...That's a whole other post on its own). But in regards to Eli himself, I think he's fantastic. And as Donny "The Bear Jew" Donowitz I think I've got a crush.
I actually had great grandparents who immigrated from Germany just before the war started. Why? Just because their last name was "Schultz" and they happened to be Jewish. My German and French (great grandfather who passed early on-great grandma remarried a Louisiana Frenchman) Jewish relatives escaped before the gestapo came-before Hitler's rise to power. They set up a new home in Louisiana and that is where my grandmother (who to this day still speaks with a Lousiana accent despite her living in Texas) met my grandfather, married him, had my dad in Baton Rouge and moved to the middle of Texas to start a dairy. I didn't really know the whole story of my great grandparents until I did some research, and even then I'm missing some facts, but my point is-I did indeed get that same face Donny has in those last few minutes. That twisted satisfaction...
Okay. Now that a new crush is out in the air, let's talk about Brad. I think this has to be one of my more favorite roles of his. Out of Tyler, Rusty, and Benjamin... Aldo Raine takes the cake and hacks it up with that knife of his (which brought to mind Jayne Cobb and his knife: "Pain is scary."). I love how he says he speaks "Eye-talian" best out of the three who know it in the Basterds, but he is absolutely awful at it (as a matter of fact, of the three who do know it, Omar-who knows the least-has the best accent and Donny is pretty decent at it).
Now! The movie itself! Starts off in that serious, frightening place of Nazi-occupied France and really gets me to the point of tears. It sets up our main villain of the film for what his nickname really means. Hans Landa: "The Jew Hunter." Yes. He hunts and kills Jews. And yes, I absolutely hate him with how goddamn polite he is and how he thinks he's above everything. There's actually hope at one point-hope that's dashed upon the rocks as Landa has his he reveals he's known where those in hiding have been since he walked in the door and has his soldiers shoot the shit out of the floorboards. The first chapter is devastating and had me curled up in my seat, but then we are introduced to the Basterds in chapter two. And I love this chapter.
As Lt. Raine explains what he wants from his men the look on his senior officer's face-the look on Sgt. Donowitz's face-explains it all. The Basterds are not normal Jewish American soldiers. They are angry and basically fucking scary Jewish American soldiers. And Lt. Raine wants scalps. Hence his nickname "The Apache."
The scene in the ditch, where a soldier who survived the Basterds explains to Hitler what happened, is absolutely perfect. Tension is built, Raine toys with the senior officer, introduces the Basterds (to include Hugo, a Nazi-killing German they recruited right out of prison), and demands to know where the next sniper nest is. When Sgt. Werner "respectfully refuses" we hear five hard taps down the tunnel behind Aldo. The Lieutenant explains the sound, asks if the Nazi knows who "The Bear Jew" is and what he does, and corrects him on the whole club issue. It's not a club. It's a fucking baseball bat. And if he doesn't point out where those snipers are and what ammo they're using, he's going to let Donny take his bat and "beat [his] ass to death with it".
Sgt. Werner's response? "Fuck you. And your Jew dogs!"
"Actually, we're all tickled to year you say that. Quite frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death's the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies. Donny!"
From deep within the drainage tunnel: "Yeah!"
"Got us a German here who wants to die fer country. Oblige him."
"The Surrender [la Resa]" begins to play. I love Quentin's musical choices...
We see the tunnel and hear the bat clanging off pipes 23 times (yes, I counted) before we actually see Donny come out of the tunnel.
Tension is built and we know we've seen a glimpse of Donny before, but this is different. We're being re-introduced to this character in his "natural habitat." When he emerges, Donny is carrying a scarred, bloodied bat (with signatures from his Jewish neighbors in his hometown of Boston) and is wearing at least four or five German dog tags (he might have had more) on a couple of long cords around his neck. In the cold, he's only in his sleeveless undershirt, corduroy trousers, and suspenders, and the term "Bear" does come to mind when you see him. Eli Roth cuts an imposing figure. He approaches the Nazi, stops walking with what can only be described as a beastly predator manner, taps the man's iron cross medal with the end of the bat and asks:
"[Did]ja get that for killing Jews?"
"Bravery."
With a nod and a smirk, Donny hits a home run on the asshole's head and beats him to a pulp when he ends up on the ground. ("Teddy fuckin' Williams knocks it outta the park!") I was sitting there with probably the most sadistic smile on my face during this scene... I watched an interview with Eli which he mentioned something about this movie not being the first time he's carried around a bat (it's a normal thing for Bostonians-personally, I'm partial to my lacrosse stick.) and that he and Brad stayed in character throughout the shoot.
There is so much more to this movie... But all I can say is as far as Tarantino films go, this one is definitely my favorite.
Even more than the Kill Bill movies, Death Proof (only Eli's cameo was worth that movie-and the girls beating the shit out of Stuntman Mike at the very end) Reservoir Dogs, or Pulp Fiction. The "talky" moments that Tarantino loves so much were actually riveting in Inglourious Basterds. I think he set that up with that first "chapter." Though I'll never understand why he spelled the title so wonky... I know of other "Inglorious Bastard" movies, and I guess he's just making a statement that this one will never be confused for one of them... I don't know.
On a final note, Sam Jackson narrates certain moments. He's a perfect choice.
Inglourious Basterds is going to be one of those movies I watch repeatedly when I get bored-like I used to do in Algebra II. I had The Matrix and Pirates of the Caribbean memorized, so I'd just "play" them in my head. For serious, the other night Mom said "Eye-talian" and I lost it. I couldn't stop laughing and no one could share. THIS MUST CHANGE, DAMMIT.
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Outlander
On the back of the DVD, Tom Long of Detroit News says: "Honestly. Best. Movie. Ever." This makes me giggle like a silly little girl-it's actually a really cool re-imagining of the legend of Beowulf.
OKAY! Remember the actual story of Beowulf? And the idea of Predator? Mix those together. Add Jim Caviezel, Sophia Myles, Ron Perlman, and John Hurt and a freaking cool monster that is from a completely different planet.
Boom-crash landing in the middle of the night in a lake in Herot, Norway, Kainan buries his copilot and turns on a homing beacon before using this waaaaay advanced tech to learn the native language. And, unlike the "orgasm of knowledge" like in The Matrix, this literally makes our hero blow chunks. Because, honestly? Wouldn't all that forced information make you feel nauseous?
So now he knows Norse and we get it all as English.
Anyway, he grabs a gun and runs off to follow tracks left behind from something that escaped the wreck. In his tracking, Kainan loses the gun/blaster to a river and is taken prisoner by Wulfric.
This sort of makes Kainan "Beowulf." As the original literary hero was a Geat who visited Hrothgar (Rothgar in this) on the sole purpose to slay the monster Grendel, Kainan brought the monster (Moorwen) with him. But, no one believes him when he says he was hunting a "dragon" and assumes he is a spy of another Norse tribe.
Amidst this, Rothgar is locked in a decade-long feud with Gunnar (Ron Perlman with a bitchin' beard and shaved head)-who blames the loss of the outward village Kainan was found near (where there was a whale carcass but no bodies).
Thing is, this monster has destroyed Gunnar's village and he wants to take it out on Rothgar's people. Amidst all this, we have Freya (Sophia Myles-who I think is underrated as an actress), Rothgar's daughter, who must choose her husband soon. Rothgar likes the idea of Wulfric ruling after him. But from what I see between the two of them is more of brother/sister bantering. No sexual tension.
However, when Freya goes to the cabin where Kainan is tied to a central pole, there's a spark. How can't there be a spark when this stranger looks as hot as Jim Caviezel?
Super details aside, on a hunt for Kainan's "dragon," Kainan eventually makes himself useful by killing a huge-ass bear that was a claw away from ripping Rothgar's neck open and gains his freedom. Freedom, a hut of his own, and some leather armor and bearskin trophies (he's been in his thin sleeveless futuristic shirt), enters the mead hall, and is cheered by Boromir (the comic relief) to start everyone going.
What it all boils down to is the Norse believing Kainan, A trap that kinda works but kinda doesn't, then a final battle between the monster with Kainan and Wulfric (to rescue Freya). Since the only ones left are Freya and Kainan, Wulfric hands over the king's seal to Kainan.
In the cover of night, Kainan returns to his beacon and just as the ship is arriving, he breaks it in a shower of sparks.
Freya is watching in the shadows.
In the end, Freya still thinks Kainan is sent by the gods and marries him. And in the end I really want the story to keep going....
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Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus
For those of you who don't know who Diane Arbus is, she's a portrait photographer famous for taking portraits of men and women who most of us don't label as "normal."
I love her work. "Boy with a Toy Grenade" is particularly striking. The black and white processed film emphasizes certain characteristics that make the strange just beautiful.
ANYWAY, Fur is about Diane's Alice & Wonderland-like transformation from her husband's assistant to the woman she became famous as. It's a fictional take on what might have happened, but she takes a journey. Of the mind and heart... On a night meant to honor her husband's studio and her parents' fur business, Lionel Sweeney moves in upstairs.
He's got hypertrichosis. It's the very real affliction that causes hair follicles to form in every pore. All we can see of Lionel (Robert Downey Jr.) are his lips and the deep set warmth of his eyes. And his voice. He speaks very quietly throughout the movie and it's quite the transformation.
To put it most succinctly, Diane is like Alice and Lionel introduces her to Wonderland-a place she's been looking for all her life but has been unable to find it on her own. Once she finds Wonderland, she finds out where her art can come from.
Visually, the film is rich and lush with color and atmosphere. The reason I'm writing about this one is the simple fact that Robert mentioned it on Friday Night With Johnathan Ross and no one knew what he was talking about. It's an odd one, but a good one. I love the visuals and the story.
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Sunshine
The sun is dying. Icarus II is a ship sent to it with a nuclear payload to dump into the sun and buy those of the people still on Earth some more time with the sun.
Space, long trips in it, drive some people loopy. Case and point: Mace (Chris Evans) beating up Capa (Cillian Murphy) for taking too long in communications to leave his last transmission home. And Searle, the ship's shrink, has become obsessed with watching the sun without the UV filter up at 100%. His face progresses from slight sunburn to peeling skin and cracked lips by the time he leaves the film for good. The captain of the Icarus II sacrifices himself when someone makes a mathematical error (when changing course to meet up with Icarus I and see what went wrong there) and the ship's shield is at an incorrect angle. Mace, who I think must have been raised by a military family or had military training, insists that they continue with their mission and dump the payload in the sun-the mission is more important than their lives. Not everyone has this viewpoint. It doesn't help that he is the only character in this film that only thinks of the needs of the many over the needs of the few (if I can rip-off a quote from Wrath of Khan). My dad kept agreeing with Mace's "do-or-die" militarily motives. Anyway, after the captain dies and Searle also sacrifices himself...
Everything goes downhill from there.
It's a great movie-dramatic and kind of scary in that great Danny Boyle sense...
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Black Snake Moan
Beyond the lovely blues soundtrack, I'm not sure how to describe it... Okay, Samuel L. Jackson's character, Lazarus, is probably the kindest man on the planet. It may not seem that way, but it's how I see it. To think that his ex-wife left him because he made her feel "old" and moved on to his younger brother... She wasn't too smart (which was okay by the end, because the lovely S. Epatha Merkerson as the sweet Miss Angela saw what a catch Laz was and hung on to him). The fact that he takes such time to heal a broken, feverish, and beaten Rae who had been left on the side of the road (Christina Ricci looking like she needs to eat a lot more than she does else her backbone touch her ribs)-that he brings his Reverend friend in for her to talk to (while she's chained to the radiator-sounds freaky, but the actual fact is it became an anchor to reality for her) shows more of his goodness.
I particularly liked the scene where Rae was sitting at the dining table with R.L. (the Reverend) and he didn't preach to her but just... Let her talk it out. Something she rarely was given the chance. And during the stormy night, Lazarus is given his chance to "talk out" his own troubles to Rae with the help of an amp and a sweet guitar. He tells her about his wife and how much he loved her-wanted a family with her... But apparently Rose didn't want a family and went off one afternoon and had an abortion without telling him what she was doing. Not until she came home "without that glow" and he knew but asked anyway... Rose said she "got rid of it." And Lazarus describes the feeling of helpless emptiness with such perfection-that "black snake moan" that pulls you down... It really is what depression feels like. There's this dark, leathery animal that preys on you and strikes at your weakest moments and you feel like there isn't a thing in the world that can make that hurt feel any better.
The "I stopped breathing" (literally, I was holding my breath during almost the entirety of the scene) moment for me in this movie was when Lazarus took Rae into town (post radiator-chain and a few new dresses and healthy meals later) with his crops (I craved corn on the cob for days after I watched this...) and she reluctantly left his side (in my mind, post-radiator Rae had Laz as an anchor) to go inside the market to confront her mother.
Now, outside, Miss Angela and Lazarus are being real sweet and cute together to the point where I just wanted a picture of the two of them. I literally squealed aloud.
Inside, Rae finds her mother using a price gun on the bread. She tries to make amends-tries to get her mother to be a mother that Rae previously denied her with that "fuck off" attitude. Rejected, Rae turns to leave, but Laz came into town with a purpose and so did she-so she turns...
"I just think you should'a kept him off me, that's all."
"The hell are you talkin' about?"
"Now see? Don't do that. I'll go along with all you say about me, but that... You can't pretend no more on that. 'Cause I was just a kid, Momma. I didn't know about any of that stuff he was doin' to me. And you let him do it. Some big nobody in your life... and you let him do as he wanted with the only SOMEBODY you had."
Her mother grabs her by the arm and marches her toward the end of the aisle and Rae just... CHANGES into this poor little girl with her hair done up in its ponytail and that cute dress colorful and sweet... She diminishes.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to shout..."
"All my life I been puttin' out your fires with you givin' out your snatch to every waggin' dick in this town. And you gonna lay the blame at my feet? Well, I ain't gonna take that."
"But... Momma... Just tell me-not gonna be mad, we can just talk about it... Be eye to eye on this... You don't even have to say you're sorry-just say how you knew-"
"Only thing I'm sorry for is listenin' to my parents and having you instead of doin' what I should'a done."
She leaves her there next to a sponge mop display, and all of the air has gushed out of my lungs along with Rae's at this confession. I literally put both hands over my mouth and just started sobbing. Rae, on the other hand, grabs one of the mops and starts beating her mother with it, while screaming:
"...tell me you don't know... goddamn LIAR! SAY IT! JUST FUCKING SAY IT!"
Outside, Miss Angela is giving Laz an impromptu concert after confessing that she wants to sing in the church choir. As she sings he begins to take notice of the crowd gathering at the front of the market. Rae is still screaming at her mother-screaming at the grocers to let her go "get him off me" and Lazarus bursts in, tells them to let go of her, and reaches down to grab her arm.
"Rae, gal, you hearin' my voice?!"
And there's her anchor.
As he carries her outside, I feel myself breathe again.
There's much more to this movie, but that scene in particular really stuck with me.
Now, I've been a fan of Sam Jackson since I was allowed to watch Sphere and Jurassic Park (that last one I missed out on for a while since it came out when we lived on Crete) as a kid, and I feel privileged to watch a movie with him in it. Even when he's got a short role or an unseen role (narrating) he lends this presence to all of his characters. Lazarus, with his uncouth tongue and genuine heartfelt nature, is probably my favorite character of his. Lazarus seems like someone I would know. The kind of guy that, if you knew him from around town and bought your corn and tomatoes from him every weekend, you would give him one of those "thank you for being you" hugs when you gathered up your things to head home and make a kickass fresh dinner. I've never had the chance to live in a community that small or build that sort of relationship with someone, but I imagine he and I would get on famously. And I'd tease the hell out of him for making Miss Angela that lotion.
I swear to God, this movie is the reason I'd break "meeting a movie star" etiquette with Sam Jackson and go straight for the hug.
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Hush
Little known gem from the UK. Freakishly realistic-guy, Zakes, has fight with girlfriend, girlfriend disappears at a gas station/convenience store, guy finds out that girlfriend has been kidnapped by a freak in a truck with more half-naked/chained girls in the back. Police don't believe guy and guy must free all these other girls and his own girlfriend and stop the freaky trucker. There's the plot.
WTF scene: truker's girlfriend knocks "boyfriend" out and kills an elderly couple. "boyfriend" wakes up with his hands nailed to the floor.
Ow.
Oh my God, OW.
There's so much more to it, but jeepers...
DVD is unavailable on region one, and this pisses me off. Because it's good.
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[REC]
This is the original Spanish (shot in Barcelona) film that inspired Quarantine. And from what I can tell, Angela speaks with a Castillian accent and they use Spanish (not Mexicano or Cubano) slang. For me, it makes watching the movie a hundred times easier because I actually understand the spoken Castillian Spanish better than "school Spanish." Much like in El Orfanato I could watch rather than "read" subtitles. This may not be the case with others, but I found it much easier to connect with these people when I could still understand them. It's why I like watching Japanese horror films (in addition to the terribly sad stories that end up coming out of the narrative).
It is much more gory than Quarantine. The fireman who falls from the top floor has a bite in his cheek that gets a very graphic close-up shot when he's given a painkiller right in the wound. And the cop that gets bit? Chunks, my fellow horror film fans. We get skin chunks.
The seven year old girl who is sick is named Jennifer. I LOVE THE IRONY HERE. And her mother is a lovely nervous wreck: "I am going to sue. I am definitely going to sue."
Unfortunately, the guy who patches up the cop and fireman as best he can is an intern, not a vet. So we don't get the realistic explanation of an accelerated form of rabies at the point when the CDC comes in to check. And no head drill. But FUCK is it scary when the biting happens again in that back room of the textile factory. That little girl is terrifying, too. She sounds like a pissed off cat when she goes all nuts.
And Angela can swear like a sailor. We never really see Pablo completely-not like Scott in the English remake.
We do, however, get an explanation for what the hell is in the room below the attic-a Portuguese girl who has been reported as possessed. And guys, you know you're going to see her when Pablo tips the camera up to look into the attic, but even though I have this knowledge, she still scared the ever loving SHIT out of me.
I want to see this on the big screen. There are several movies on this list that I would love to see on the big screen.
EXCELLENT movie. Made just all that much cooler because the DP played Pablo (and his name happens to be Pablo Rosso).
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Splinter
This movie genuinely freaked me out. Normally horror/thriller films don't do that, but I suppose the originality of Splinter was enough... Subtle special effects-"zombies" with no explanation as to why this "splinter" creature showed up and started infecting people.
That's the best type of horror. The unexplained. A reason why Alien was successful was that the origination of the ship on LV-426 was never explained.
Despite the fact that a pair of disembodied, seemingly intelligent hands would seem cheesy as an effect, it is seriously freakish in that face-hugger WHAT THE FUCK sort of way.
Anyway, the scene where Farell's hand is finally taken over by the splinter he got while changing a tire is absolutely painful to watch. His fingers bend backwards and snap and the hand blindly reaches back for one of the two others in the room with him. Back so far that his elbow snaps and they cut off his arm to save him.
But they don't have anything but a box cutter and two cinder blocks.
"Guess I underestimated you. Can't change a tire, but fuck if you can't chop off an arm."
OH MAN IT'S SO PAINFUL TO WATCH.
Speaking of that, the director "tweeted" me with a little "thanks for talking about our indie horror film!" and I checked out the movie website.
They sell shirts with a line from the movie on it:
"It's okay... We're cutting your arm off."
Quite possibly, Splinter is the best indie horror film I've seen in my entire life (with the exception of the Evil Dead movies that started indie horror). Good movie. Great visuals and creature effects. The DVD is $25 at Best Buy, but it's definitely worth it to see how in the world they did those "splinter people." Lots of crab walking and some kickass makeup effects.
I mentioned watching this movie over on Twitter and got a "thanks for mentioning us" tweet from the director. That made my day.
They thank Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert in the credits. AMEN TO THE EVIL DEAD CREW! XD
One last thing: Shea Whigham, the guy who plays Dennis Farell, hardly gets enough talk about his acting skills. I've seen him in a few other movies, and in each one he steals all my attention. He's in quite a few Indie flicks (The Killing Room is another worthwhile watch). Check him out.
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Penelope (UK cut-the American DVD left out A LOT)
First off, I want Christina Ricci's entire wardrobe from this movie and I want my wedding dress to look exactly like hers with the corset and fluttery white train and little tasteful tiara. She looked like a princess... Hell, she's just friggin' cute in this whole movie.
"Those were the last of the Ho-Hos!"
"I'll buy you some more." (her mother, the ever funny Catherine O'Hara)
"I'm old enough to buy my own Ho-Hos!" (as she's putting her coat on)
"Buy me some cigarette's while you're out, will you?" (this line, Miss Matchmaker, is changed on the DVD to "chocolate.")
Anyway, it's a story about a blue blood family curse that Penelope (Ricci) has been inflicted with. She's got the face of a pig (just the ears and nose really-and the nose gets to be really adorable after a while) and it'll go away once one of "her own kind" loves her. So her mother and a hired on matchmaker hold interviews.
Man, the US DVD leaves out so many important plot points to cut back on time...
In any case, there are humorous moments, sad moments, dramatic moments, and James McAvoy looking all scruffy and hot.
Also, Nick Frost has a short role in it-with a perfect American accent.
I bought the DVD and downloaded the torrent-both are worth it, actually. The DVD for the movie's profit, and the torrent for what I call the "extended edition."
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Dreamcatcher
DON'T LAUGH, I LIKED THIS MOVIE.
Okay, this one is old, but I recently rewatched it and... Jeez it's so freaking close to the book. The part where Henry and Owen (who I kept going: "DUDE! Titus' son in the Julie Taymor movie! The only son that made it through to the end and had a soliloquy!") are in the truck and Henry uses Owen's gun as a "phone handset" to telepathically talk to Jonesy was exactly how I pictured it when I read the book. I mean, right down to Thomas Jane's hair as Henry... This movie has perfect casting. And, yes, the scene where Beaver drops his toothpicks when he's sitting on the toilet lid to keep the "weasel" monster from escaping is in the book-he really does try to reach for the one that didn't land in the blood.
Like so many Stephen King movies, "Dreamcatcher" is full of all kinds of weird shit-but this movie (and The Mist) is almost the only one I've seen where it really does "feel" like the book. EXCELLENT.
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The Accidental Husband
Why the hell did none of us go and see this? I remember the posters (the ones that weren't horribly Photoshopped) of Uma Thurman on the cover of a book with devil horns and a mustaches drawn on her face... But I still didn't go see it. And why didn't I? It's got JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN in it, for Christ's sake.
Okay, it's not on DVD yet-I admit to downloading it because I looked and went: "wait, he was in that little blip in my memory? Jesus, I gotta check this out."
It's funny. It's painful. It's adorable and great to see Uma Thurman do some more comedy because she's excellent.
And Jeffrey as a firefighter?
How perfect is that?
DVD is still unavailable-but the torrent is online.
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The Mist
Yes, I am bringing up another Stephen King movie. With Thomas Jane in it. Whatever-he's the perfect "Stephen King protagonist." And I seriously hope they do a Dark Tower series and cast Thomas...
Drew Struzan artwork at the beginning? This movie won me over before it really started. And I've read the book. I love the book. More than "The Shining."
The ending, as the director stated on the commentary: Stephen King approved and actually said he wished he'd written it that way, scared the bejezus out of me and make me weep like a little baby. God DAMN, Thomas Jane is one powerful actor. The screaming he does isn't that standard "horror movie" bottled nonsense, but actual painful sounding ANGUISH where these noises just come up from your gut and you have to let them out even though it sounds like nonsense... The horror of trying to form words-having none-having nothing left but the skin you occupy and you no longer want to own even that...
So much pain.
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The Punisher
Yes, another Thomas Jane flick. And unlike most people, I actually enjoyed this movie. Normally, I see "John Travolta" in the credits and I run, but... He wasn't being "John Travolta" for once. Not at all. Besides, what Tom did with the character of Frank Castle just... Made the Punisher so much more believable as a character, period. And Castle is just a normal guy who happens to know his weapons. He's not superhuman. He doesn't have any armor beyond Kevlar. He's just a really pissed off guy.
And even without the ability to go all fiery at night and turn into a skull, he manages to be fifty million times more badass than Nic Cage or Ghost Rider. Period. The only cool thing about that movie? Sam Elliott (Roadhouse, anyone?). Who has the coolest voice ever.
One worrisome thing, this is the third movie I've seen of Thomas Jane's where he puts a loaded gun anywhere near his own head with the intention of pulling the trigger.
Dumb thing-but the fight between Frank and the Russian is friggin' hilarious. As are the outtakes from it (he's getting his head slammed in the fridge door, and Thomas takes a break by getting a sip of milk and eating a sardine before saying: "go ahead" and resumes the take. The best outtake is of Tom slamming a paper-cutter blade (which I have accidentally cut a finger on before) into the camera repeatedly, then he stalks back to his mark and shouts: "I love my job!"
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The Spirit
First off, don't hate! While we're on a comic movie roll here, let's go with another not-much-liked flick that I actually enjoyed. It's fun! There's a Greek myth involved! And I love Gabriel Macht. I love his voice overs. I love the fact that his character trips every so often-and doesn't use a gun. He's not superhuman. He just... Can't die.
ScarJo is the right hand of Sam Jackson (as "Octopus")-and she's friggin' hilarious. The girl's got some great comic timing (I secretly loved The Nannie Diaries) and bitching cat-eye framed glasses. I want a pair to wear around when I feel smug.
Regardless of what the critics say about this, after listening to the DVD commentary and remembering the things I did about the original comic, I felt that The Spirit kept that playful yet serious tone from the graphic novel.
And Gabriel was a perfect casting choice. The Spirit is loved by the ladies, but his true lady is his city. We ladies in the audience can't help but adore him-how cute he is and how beautiful his voice sounds... But we don't stand a chance with him. *sigh* C'est la vie.
Speaking of that, his French is... Mmmmmm... Sexy. And Gabriel has some gorgeous blue eyes...
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The Edge
Here's the IMDb summary: "Billionaire Charles Morse accompanies his supermodel wife Mickey to photo shoot at Alaska. The shoot is to be made by fashion photographer Robert Green. To find specific Indian for the shoot, they fly to even more distant location, where their small plane crashes into a lake. To survive in the woods full of man-killing bears they need each other, but the smarter of the men - Charles is suspicious that Robert is having an affair with his wife."
Full of? There's one. Bears don't gather in herds or anything. In fact, bears are loners-only come together to mate and you only see more than one at a time if it's a momma with her cubs. But whatever.
And the specific thing was Charles asking Bob in the plane before the bird strike knocked the plane out of the air: "So how are you planning on killing me, Bob?"
He knew. It gets confirmed later, but Charles is not stupid.
Anthony Hopkins, with that velvet cool voice of his, is such an intelligent man as Charles Morse-he has all these random fact packed up in his head (much like me) but it's these random facts and bits of information that inevitably save his life after the crash. Especially when it comes to the bear.
Ah, The Bear (played by Bart, the same bear at the end of Legends of the Fall, another Anthony Hopkins flick)... Bart was an Alaskan brown bear that stood at over nine and a half feet tall and weighed over 17000 pounds. He is referred to as a Kodiak Bear and is... Well, he's fucking huge. And their first encounter with him... He swats at this log Charles is hanging off of over some freakishly cold water and with my sound system, you can hear the sound of the ground moving. He's huge, all muscle, and when Charles looks him in the eye ("look him in the eyes to let him know that you know he's there and back away real slow") you can actually see this calculating intelligence there. Yes, he's a trained bear-whatever. The bear did better than Alec Baldwin (the true antagonist) in this movie.
Let's talk about that last statement in those parenthesis. Alec-Bob-has concocted this whole trip to find a way to kill Charles and steal his wife.
But Charles, even after he finds out about the reality of this plan, still has the goodness in his heart to keep on with the "let's get rescued" plan they had-forgave Bob even. I remember thinking, "how can anyone be this good? This has to be cinema's kindest character..." Sure, he kills a 17000 pound Kodiak bear with a pointed stick ("What one man can do, another can do!" "Today? I'm gonna kill the mutha-fucka.") because not only are they starving, but Bart's been stalking them ever since he got a little taste of human from chowing down on Stephen early on. But to look this other man in the eye after having this same man point a rifle at him with every intent to shoot and sincerely forgive him when he asks for it... That is the mark of a rare man.
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Eden Log
French grungy scifi! Starts off in that weird place that was exactly like those irritating dreams where you can't keep your eyes open so you can only glimpse a bright image every three seconds but you can still hear everything. Two things are established right away. One, it's frickin' cold and muddy. Two, our main character doesn't know who or where the hell he is or how he got there.
Also? He's half naked in the cold mud.
Yeah. I think I did have a nightmare like this once.
Anyway, he crawls up a level in...wherever he is and finds a quilted jumpsuit and a better flashlight than the one he found in the dead guy's hands ("pry it from my cold, dead fingers" includes some irritated shaking and appendage breaking). Then he finds a rotary door and some "welcome to the lower mines" talking heads (lots-in several languages) that are projected onto the wall.
It's a long, complicated plot that only makes sense when you watch it, but the confusion and absolute desolation the main character feels is just as strong as it should be. Visually, Eden Log is just... Stunning. The colors are desaturated to leave in blues, deep blacks, blinding whites, greys, and hints of skintone (bare hints at that).
The twist at the end is a lot like the Soylent Green kind of twist.
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Highwaymen
OKAY. This is about a guy, Rennie, taking revenge on a serial hit-and-run driver for killing his wife. He did get some immediate revenge at first by slamming into him right after his wife is killed-but ended up serving three years in prison for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon (his car). Since that, he's learned how to drive like a pro, souped up a 'Cuda to the point where it isn't necessarily street legal (he's got racing harnesses in it). The Hit-And-Run man is all prosthetics, but that doesn't stop him from doing all the same creepy "I'm-killing-you-with-my-beat-to-shit-car-and-taking-something-of-yours-when-I'm-done" stuff.
We get a second protagonist, a story tactic I'm not too fond of, named Molly. Who does not and cannot drive. Her parents, we learn, were killed by a hit and run drunk driver when she was little and only she and the other driver survived the wreck.
Molly is being chased by Hit-And-Run (who has a name, but I can't be bovvered to look it up). She is saved by Rennie (after meeting him in an "**accident survivors support group") and soon learns of this epic grudge match she's suddenly become a part of. In the end, the traffic investigator (a cop without a gun who happened to take an interest in Rennie's history and followed him) saves everyone and finally gets to use a shotgun to exact justice. And even though we (and Molly) expect Rennie to vanish into thin air once the cops come, he's there to hold onto her as a paramedics look them over. The stunts are a great component of this movie. As are the cars-who become characters in their own ways. The 'Cuda is pieced together from junkyard parts but runs like new and the one-eyed-Jack El Dorado is beat to shit but somehow still working.
**for the record, having been involved in a so-called "accident" with a drunk driver, I hate this term. In Hot Fuzz, Nick corrects Danny on this and says to call it a "collision" because "'accident' implies there was no one at fault." Whenever I think about that night, I get sense memories all over my body... My feet go numb and I remember such screaming-then realizing I was the one screaming and my seatbelt was almost choking me and the back of my head was throbbing from the rear windshield shattering against it... I don't remember when I went from screaming to sitting roadside and yelling "I dreamed this! I saw this happen!" at the drunken woman who emerged loose-limbed from her Explorer directly behind us. There is a large blank spot from me commenting on the locking seatbelts actually working in the back of my sister's new/used car (three hours in her possession) and then me wondering where the screams were coming from. I kept on finding bits of security glass in all sorts of places while we were in the hospital with my sister-and truthfully I should have been checked out because I had a headache for three days straight and was dry heaving when my mom forced me to my feet by the wreck... But that's not a movie. That's just what this movie in particular got me thinking about.
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Unknown
IFC film that is, well, rather unknown. Jean Jacket (Jim Caviezel-who still shocks me when I watch De Ja Vu and he's the villain after Frequency and one of my favorites: The Count of Monte Cristo) wakes up in a warehouse surrounded by other unconscious men. There's Hand-cuffed Man (shot in the left lung), Joe Pantoliano tied to a chair, Greg Kinnear knocked the hell out with a shovel, Flannel Shirt (who wakes up after Jean Jacket), and a dead security guard in a locker.
Why can't they remember who they are or why they're there? A canister of something that they've all been exposed to and it's fucking DANGEROUS. The whole point is there has been a kidnapping, a ransom is being paid as these men are trying to make sense of things (getting flashes of who they were thanks to the aid of a bathroom mirror)-they all discover that one or more of them could be the kidnapper of two of them. Even I was unconvinced as to who was who up until the final moments outside the conflict when the last two guys are sitting in the backs of ambulances across from each other and the distraught wife is reunited with her husband.
But there's another twist in this.
Such an unseen twist that I can't tell ya'll-you've got to see it for yourselves.
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Titus
Anthony Hopkins film directed by Julie Taymor (Across The Universe). Here, to make it quick, it the IMDb summary:
War begets revenge. Victorious general, Titus Andronicus, returns to Rome with hostages: Tamora queen of the Goths and her sons. He orders the eldest hewn to appease the Roman dead. He declines the proffered emperor's crown, nominating Saturninus, the last ruler's venal elder son. Saturninus, to spite his brother Bassianus, demands the hand of Lavinia, Titus's daughter. When Bassianus, Lavinia, and Titus's sons flee in protest, Titus stands against them and slays one of his own. Saturninus marries the honey-tongued Tamora, who vows vengeance against Titus. The ensuing maelstrom serves up tongues, hands, rape, adultery, racism, and Goth-meat pie. There's irony in which two sons survive
The visuals Julie employs are strange but purposeful-the rape and torture of Lavinia is done in a way that shows the violence without actually showing the violence. But when her uncle finds her, she is indeed broken-her tongue removed and her hands replaced with branches.
It's not a movie for the weak of stomach-Titus is a man who will chop off his own hand for the lives of his sons and bake Lavinia's rapists into two meat pies. If you liked the visuals of Across The Universe and know the Shakespearean tale of "Titus Andronicus," then this is the best (if oddest) adaptation of the play. It's spoken in the original Shakespearean way much like Baz's Romeo+Juliet. But it's better.
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Gabriel
Best "undiscovered gem" for last! This little adventure from Australia is... Powerful, to say the least. Andy Whitfield, possibly one of the hottest men on the planet plays the Archangel Gabriel, sent to Purgatory to "bring back the Light" to those who have been deceived and corrupted by the Fallen. Sent back in human form. So the beginning, when he lands, he's so disoriented and confused-sounds are too loud, he's unused to how his voice works and by the time he stumbles to his feet, he's like a colt on new legs-tripping over the ends of his boots.
Lovely visual imagery, the message of "free will" (denied to Angels), and meaningful speeches from the Archs and Gabriel especially.
There is one sex scene. But it's touching, not exploitative. It's a scene that felt... Real. For both Gabriel and Jade (the Arc, Amitiel whose wings were taken from her by Sammael) it felt like, the pair of them were discovering something...human. For Amitiel, real love as opposed to the painful things Sammael put her through.
And the twist at the end is just as shocking and painful to the viewer as it is to our hero. It's sad, and oh so good... And after all that happens, the clouds break, the rain stops, and the sun finally shines.