(no subject)
do you ever get to that point when you feel you don't know yourself anymore?
i’m at a loss lately. i haven't really been myself and its staring to bother me. i don’t paint for me anymore cause im so busy with school. i’ve been really distant form everyone. i used to be fun, happy and witty, wtf happened? im so bitter lately. even when im out with all my friends i feel out of place. i always have a good time with them but i question if it will last long. why do i always need more? i have so much and still im not content. i have this problem of pushing people away, as soon as i get close to someone, i back off. i used to be able to open up to people and now i put my guard up. i wont let myself get emotionally attached to anyone or anything. i've become a pro at keeping people at arms length that i fear i’ll never let anyone in. im so cold now, and emotionless. i can drop people like that and not think twice about who im hurting along the way. i can't even live in the same place to long. i’ve been here for less then a year and though i love it here, i feel there's always something missing. something im searching for, that i feel like i’ll never find. i don't know what it is, but i’ll know when i find it, because i’ll be completely content with where i am in life and not question anything. but i fear that day, cause when i do find whatever im looking for, what will be left to live for?
i’m at a loss lately. i haven't really been myself and its staring to bother me. i don’t paint for me anymore cause im so busy with school. i’ve been really distant form everyone. i used to be fun, happy and witty, wtf happened? im so bitter lately. even when im out with all my friends i feel out of place. i always have a good time with them but i question if it will last long. why do i always need more? i have so much and still im not content. i have this problem of pushing people away, as soon as i get close to someone, i back off. i used to be able to open up to people and now i put my guard up. i wont let myself get emotionally attached to anyone or anything. i've become a pro at keeping people at arms length that i fear i’ll never let anyone in. im so cold now, and emotionless. i can drop people like that and not think twice about who im hurting along the way. i can't even live in the same place to long. i’ve been here for less then a year and though i love it here, i feel there's always something missing. something im searching for, that i feel like i’ll never find. i don't know what it is, but i’ll know when i find it, because i’ll be completely content with where i am in life and not question anything. but i fear that day, cause when i do find whatever im looking for, what will be left to live for?