sheetalmalik
In the beginning I was privy to his thoughts & he would show me what he had written in his leather bound journal. I was an unwilling accomplice; his handwriting resembled ants crawling over paper & that too not in perfect line.
As the years passed he stopped sharing his thoughts & the bound journal became out of bound for me. Now though I was more then interested in finding out what was written on those pages but he zealously guarded his secrets.
My ego & sense of self worth prevented me from pestering him into showing me his precious thoughts.
Then one day the miracle happened; I found myself staring at the journal lying on the dining table. I had a sneaking suspicion he had left it there on purpose to tempt me.
No I would not give in to my baser emotions. This was an inducement to test my strength & I would win at all cost
Today though I seemed to be running lot many errands, which necessitated that I, pass by the dining table. Every time the doorbell rang I passed by within an arm’s reach. I needed some water from the fridge & there it was the wanton creature.
Lunch had to be prepared; I had to direct the maid to dust the table & chairs. She casually picked up the journal to dust underneath & I felt the bile rising in my throat. I wanted to snatch it from her hands but resisted the urge.
Today the television breaks were longer then usual & I found my mind wandering to the dining table.
Clock chimed the hours & nausea began to grip me. My head too had started throbbing & I decided to pop in some disprin. There it was still the reason for my misery; lying coolly as if nothing had happened.
Slowly the hours passed & the husband was back. He immediately spotted the journal & met my gaze. Seeing no questions he picked it up & put it in his briefcase.
I admit I was as glad as him to see the blasted temptation removed from my sight. But wait was it my imagination or were their worry lines around his mouth, which seemed to ease.
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As the years passed he stopped sharing his thoughts & the bound journal became out of bound for me. Now though I was more then interested in finding out what was written on those pages but he zealously guarded his secrets.
My ego & sense of self worth prevented me from pestering him into showing me his precious thoughts.
Then one day the miracle happened; I found myself staring at the journal lying on the dining table. I had a sneaking suspicion he had left it there on purpose to tempt me.
No I would not give in to my baser emotions. This was an inducement to test my strength & I would win at all cost
Today though I seemed to be running lot many errands, which necessitated that I, pass by the dining table. Every time the doorbell rang I passed by within an arm’s reach. I needed some water from the fridge & there it was the wanton creature.
Lunch had to be prepared; I had to direct the maid to dust the table & chairs. She casually picked up the journal to dust underneath & I felt the bile rising in my throat. I wanted to snatch it from her hands but resisted the urge.
Today the television breaks were longer then usual & I found my mind wandering to the dining table.
Clock chimed the hours & nausea began to grip me. My head too had started throbbing & I decided to pop in some disprin. There it was still the reason for my misery; lying coolly as if nothing had happened.
Slowly the hours passed & the husband was back. He immediately spotted the journal & met my gaze. Seeing no questions he picked it up & put it in his briefcase.
I admit I was as glad as him to see the blasted temptation removed from my sight. But wait was it my imagination or were their worry lines around his mouth, which seemed to ease.
Poll Rate this entry