i should be tranquilized
Days are getting progressively more grim. That night, several nights ago, was the dawn of end. I appeared at a lake; there was a familliar fiendly lifeguard there to greet me. After a wave, I dove in and swam closer under water, approaching to tag her leg. Something grabbed back. decieved by the touch, I suraced to find nothing and despite my insight, I realized there was terror instilled where the handmarks lay on my body. Submerging back under, I scurried the water's floor through mush and gunk of decaying leaves and aqua-logged, muddy sand mush. The texture was constant, I could not find the contours of a body. It was that of a baby in need of rescuing; unfortunately, the small child became a lost corpse within the gulf. A swoop of hydro hunger ate the soul away. Dissapearing into the unknown, I knew then I would never greet that life, but when I emerged for a breath of air in curiousity of where the lifeguard had dispersed to and why she had not completed her lifesaving duties, all I discovered was a carboard, or wooden rather, cutout of a girl wearing a red bathing suit painted with a white swiss cross displayed across the breast. My gut felt cheated. Then I awoke.
Now, I told this story under a drunken spell. Only one person knows to whom I told it, and prehaps what it symbolizes. I should keep my dreams to myself, especially because I sent it in message form, and have not recieved a response. Even after apologies of my creepyness. I also said some other things that were not exactly appropriate. I'm not sure if they are or not, actually. I'm just crazy. Thus, I deserve to be shot. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone once and for all.
But that's not all. Saturday night was a most definate crazy evening that idealized a spontaneous and outrageous lifestyle I've been aiming for. After pulling into lords parking lot, I was greeted by younger members of Medfield High School, including two naked sophmore girls and a shirtless cole. Oh yeah, and Drago and Joe Cook, of course. Anyways, we drove around miscelaneously (and I cannot spell for that matter) until alcohol was thrown in the mix. Literally. Several shots and/or beers later we were intoxicated and the frightened girls went home; we continued to drive. Cole and I ended up alone and he was too drunk to drive, so we pulled into Medfield Gardens. We chilled there to sober up. He had a condom, but instead we made better use of our time that would not allow for TOO many regrets the next day. Approximately an hour later, we headed back out to meet up with the gang that had dispersed elsewhere long before. Then we stole stuffed santa clauses from residential homes, and the cops came, and we booked it outta there, and went home.
That's the end. I feel so empty inside. The cold needs to go away; my spirits are dying.