(Untitled)

Dec 22, 2003 23:41

...we never learn
There's nothing we can do,
No one to whom to turn.

We learn this, time and again,
Despite all living-through.
The pain drives now, as then.

Acceptance and irony
(Our staunchest points of view),
These fail us, finally.

Tears are our last expense.
They help us to construe
The thing that makes no sense.I suppose we ought to talk ( Read more... )

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siriuslythebest December 23 2003, 06:10:57 UTC

i'm here.

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question10 December 23 2003, 18:35:06 UTC
Me, too.

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siriuslythebest December 23 2003, 18:40:48 UTC

what now?

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question10 December 23 2003, 18:42:20 UTC
You were the one who wanted me to listen.

So, talk.

I'm listening.

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siriuslythebest December 23 2003, 18:54:46 UTC
ok.

i'm sorry. remus i'm sorry for everything. i never meant it to go that far and i didn't think he'd listen to me of all people because since when does snape listen to me? i didn't do it on purpose moony and i'm sorry it happened. i'm sorry for everything and i wish i could change what happened and make it so i wasn't so stupid to fall for what he was doing and open my fat mouth and i know we're lucky that james was there and i was scared, remus, do you know how scared i was that something would have happened? i didn't think he'd listen and then he did and then i was scared. but i can't change anything and i can't even make you even like me again let alone anything else and i hate this, i hate all of this. i hate me most of all though.

i'm sorry. remus i'm sorry and even if your never my friend again or anything else i want you to know i'm sorry.

i'm sorry.

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question10 December 23 2003, 18:56:14 UTC
Sirius, don't you understand I can't not forgive you?

But I don't know if I want to. When I want to. I don't know.

I know you're sorry.

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siriuslythebest December 23 2003, 19:02:08 UTC
i dont want you to forgive me if you dont want to.

you shouldnt do anything you dont want to. you shouldnt have to put up with someone like me.

its ok remus. if you know im sorry its enough.

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question10 December 23 2003, 19:04:05 UTC
And I know you didn't mean it. And I know you'd change things if you could. And I know all sorts of things, but I don't know what helps and what doesn't.

I just never thought you'd tell anyone. That's all.

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siriuslythebest December 23 2003, 19:07:34 UTC
i never thought i would either

i didnt think about it i just wanted him to see that he was WRONG that we werent always up to no good but we were friends and good friends and this is what friends do for each other and he said those things and it made me so angry and i wanted him to SEE but not that. remus i didnt think about that. i forget you know? i forget about it because i know you and your not. you know. i forget because its not you always. and i forgot and i told him and you know what you shouldnt forgive me ever because i dont think i ever will.

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question10 December 23 2003, 19:08:25 UTC
I am. Always. Even if you forget that I am I don't forget and I can't forget and you shouldn't ever forget, either.

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siriuslythebest December 23 2003, 19:10:29 UTC
im sorry

i should just go. there isnt anything left to say is there except

nevermind

happy christmas remus

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question10 December 23 2003, 19:15:20 UTC
Where am I? Here and there,
In a place my own
And no one's. The seasons whirl.
Halt. I question the air
And hear not one dove moan.

Let the rains wash
What they will; and snow fall
On all, ove all.

Clouds bunch. A cold wind blows.
On the leafless tree
A mockingbird sings.

I miss you anyway, Sirius.

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siriuslythebest December 23 2003, 19:19:42 UTC
i miss you

i dont think i ever will learn how not to

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question10 December 23 2003, 19:20:30 UTC
I don't know what to do.

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siriuslythebest December 23 2003, 19:21:31 UTC
if i could tell you i would let you know

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question10 December 23 2003, 19:22:38 UTC
All right.

All right, then.

Is that it? I suppose.

I don't know what I suppose.

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