a seven nation army couldn't hold me back.
music: the postal service - brand new colony
i don't know what's kept me from updating for so long. i must've attempted to update over a dozen times, make it about half-way through an entry, and then abandon it for various reasons.
i kept feeling censored. screened almost. and like someone was judging my entries. i couldn't write comfortably, and i couldn't post something that didn't feel like me.
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i've been working at panera for about three weeks, and i think i'm pretty firm in the decision that i can't stand it. every time i start to feel differently, someone always does or says something to ruin my sudden reasoning.
but it could be worse. the money could be worse (but not by much), and i could detest the actual job as well as the people. it's only temporary, i tell myself. and i've been lucky to work only two other jobs, jobs i adored - even at their worst.
i just want one person there i truly like - one person even marginally like terry or david or vidal. there is one guy, one manager, whose mannerisms remind me a bit of lance's, and thinks of himself as some sort of bar messiah because he knows what breve means.
everytime he's on bar i audibly cluck and shake my head because i want to say, "you're killing that machine. if you lost the attitude, magnified your ability by a thousand, and moved three times as fast on that bar you would somewhat resemble this friend back home named vidal."
and terry, jay and i were looking up games that made their debut at e3, and i randomly found a link for this game called coffee tycoon where you name and run your own shop. when you upgrade, you're granted the ability to make and buy better drinks, cut back on the execs, hire more staff or more management, etc. it's just dorky enough to be fun for us.
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in recent news, i started the week out with an eye infection and it looks like i'll be rounding it out with a cold. it's strange, being sick and away from everything you're familiar with. jay has done an excellent job of taking care of me, just in a different way than my mother would, no preference, just at a variance. when he gets sick, i wonder how different it will be for him: having me take care of him as opposed to fending it off alone.
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my brother blessed me with a three month netflix subscription for my birthday, which is an excellent birthday gift for someone like me, and i've been taking advantage of it. the best movies we've rented so far are the life aquatic and, one of my favorite movies of all time, life as a house. sky captain and the world of tomorrow should be sitting in my mailbox right now, and i just sent spaceballs back this morning so we should be receiving zombie 5 for jay's god-awful, horrible, just intolerable bad movie night.
this is a tenative update. i'll write out more later.
but for now, i'm going to drink alot of nyquil and lay on the couch to watch movies and scrubs.