in perfect dreams, love has no extremes
i've totally had it, tonight.
this morning i sent a letter to the community coordinator and my r-a about the "assassins" game. the community coordinator promptly wrote back to tell me she'd received my letter and would reply to it by the end of the day. i've got nothing. but i read my own letter and i am re-horrified. i don't want to publish it because i wish the whole thing would go away. fliers for the game are still up on doors around the dorm.
the news is on right after lost. the first thing was about these two little kids drowning in a pool while some adult relatives watched tv. i just about cracked; i hate the news under normal circumstances, but things are not normal. i almost just starting shouting; it took all the energy i had to say calmly that i could not take any more news-types thing.
my mom took me back to the dorm, and i called kelly. she hadn't slept hardly at all, and we said just goodnight. i laid on my bed curled up with my laptop for a few minutes. then i got up, started writing, and cried.
when my mom picked me up tonight, we talked about the shootings until we got home. i told her about the miller article--assessing offensive student writing. we stood in the kitchen and i told her about the letter to the editor today that called for, really, training citizens to see beyond stigma about mental health issues. it's funny how much i've wrestled with that stigma. after debate, and madness and civilization, and my own mother, a therapist. i just think i should talk to somebody, probably. i'm not so proud, anymore.
i slept more or less okay this morning, and i had a nice time talking to kelly. she was struggling with her computer, inventing ways to keep it cool. we talked about things for awhile until i had to leave for class. it felt good. not so with class, of course. it was excruciating, except this one girl had some good questions. i told jessie about best c and she invited me to come to a party for greta on friday night. i might go. i guess that she turned 21 but cannot do the drinkings and so suddenly canceled the party she had planned with all her 'yeah, substance abuse' crowd. i was invited, then, to the garden party variety. i said i would bring tea. oh, where can i find some nice tea to buy as a gift?
after class jessie and i had lunch at a sandwich place; we talked about gender in our philosophy class and the specifics--individuals--and their relating in space. we're going to sit weird places on friday and surprise them. if the professor asks, we are teaching them a lesson (well, but not in an intimidating way). after listening to me talk about crowley's class and feminist rhetoric and our class and p or not p, she said at the party they would play a recording of me talking and everyone would either dance or listen intently. i laughed and agreed. it made me miss kelly.
work went okay. there's a lot of work to actually do. people were in interviews all day. i worked for awhile on the manual, then. i like doing that, but i also feel like i wish i could sort things out in the inbox first. ::grumbles:: it will just take some time, i suppose. this song--'sweet little cherokee'--reminds me either of pigs in heaven or some unwritten sequel. how you could ever write turtle as an adult and taylor as an older womyn, i can't imagine. (jax would be obligated to appear with extra weight and in the most expensive suit.) but i guess it would have this soundtrack, and i guess, in life we all must learn to write ourselves in ways we had never anticipated.
maybe i miss tucson, but i suspect i really just miss being home.
after work i had a not so great dinner. i read biesecker on foucault and then it was time for lost. i still have some more reading to do tonight, and it's getting a bit late. i'm getting pretty tired; i'm surprised at hwo ready i will be for the semester to end. i just want to write some papers, or get started. maybe this weekend. i think i have picked a topic for my rhet studies class: rhetoric that changes the rhetor. it will be like a follow up to the biesecker response paper. it's not the most ambitious really, but i was so excited talking to dennis about it, last night.
i soldier on. kj
this morning i sent a letter to the community coordinator and my r-a about the "assassins" game. the community coordinator promptly wrote back to tell me she'd received my letter and would reply to it by the end of the day. i've got nothing. but i read my own letter and i am re-horrified. i don't want to publish it because i wish the whole thing would go away. fliers for the game are still up on doors around the dorm.
the news is on right after lost. the first thing was about these two little kids drowning in a pool while some adult relatives watched tv. i just about cracked; i hate the news under normal circumstances, but things are not normal. i almost just starting shouting; it took all the energy i had to say calmly that i could not take any more news-types thing.
my mom took me back to the dorm, and i called kelly. she hadn't slept hardly at all, and we said just goodnight. i laid on my bed curled up with my laptop for a few minutes. then i got up, started writing, and cried.
when my mom picked me up tonight, we talked about the shootings until we got home. i told her about the miller article--assessing offensive student writing. we stood in the kitchen and i told her about the letter to the editor today that called for, really, training citizens to see beyond stigma about mental health issues. it's funny how much i've wrestled with that stigma. after debate, and madness and civilization, and my own mother, a therapist. i just think i should talk to somebody, probably. i'm not so proud, anymore.
i slept more or less okay this morning, and i had a nice time talking to kelly. she was struggling with her computer, inventing ways to keep it cool. we talked about things for awhile until i had to leave for class. it felt good. not so with class, of course. it was excruciating, except this one girl had some good questions. i told jessie about best c and she invited me to come to a party for greta on friday night. i might go. i guess that she turned 21 but cannot do the drinkings and so suddenly canceled the party she had planned with all her 'yeah, substance abuse' crowd. i was invited, then, to the garden party variety. i said i would bring tea. oh, where can i find some nice tea to buy as a gift?
after class jessie and i had lunch at a sandwich place; we talked about gender in our philosophy class and the specifics--individuals--and their relating in space. we're going to sit weird places on friday and surprise them. if the professor asks, we are teaching them a lesson (well, but not in an intimidating way). after listening to me talk about crowley's class and feminist rhetoric and our class and p or not p, she said at the party they would play a recording of me talking and everyone would either dance or listen intently. i laughed and agreed. it made me miss kelly.
work went okay. there's a lot of work to actually do. people were in interviews all day. i worked for awhile on the manual, then. i like doing that, but i also feel like i wish i could sort things out in the inbox first. ::grumbles:: it will just take some time, i suppose. this song--'sweet little cherokee'--reminds me either of pigs in heaven or some unwritten sequel. how you could ever write turtle as an adult and taylor as an older womyn, i can't imagine. (jax would be obligated to appear with extra weight and in the most expensive suit.) but i guess it would have this soundtrack, and i guess, in life we all must learn to write ourselves in ways we had never anticipated.
maybe i miss tucson, but i suspect i really just miss being home.
after work i had a not so great dinner. i read biesecker on foucault and then it was time for lost. i still have some more reading to do tonight, and it's getting a bit late. i'm getting pretty tired; i'm surprised at hwo ready i will be for the semester to end. i just want to write some papers, or get started. maybe this weekend. i think i have picked a topic for my rhet studies class: rhetoric that changes the rhetor. it will be like a follow up to the biesecker response paper. it's not the most ambitious really, but i was so excited talking to dennis about it, last night.
i soldier on. kj