racist grandmas, puzzling premonitions, atomic bowling and springsummer cleaning
Right, so yesterday there were graduation parties abound because it's just that time of year when people are moving on and college students are working their asses off employed/seeking employment. I should count myself very lucky that I actually have a job. Although I did not appreciate the phone call at 8am today telling me I was scheduled for a different office today (which is Sunday...which I normally do not work). I received no such email or notification ahead of time so...yeah screw that. If they let me know on at least Friday next time, I'm totally D for working. I do want the hours -- I just want to know about them beforehand. Is dropping an email really too much to ask?
Anyway, back to yesterday's stories of graduation parties. We stopped by a family friend's place for awhile and chilled/gossiped madly about everyone and everything there. After about an hour, we had to go to my cousin's grad party at a Chinese restaurant. It's a really good place and my cousins are ridiculous, so I was looking forward to it. I sat between Becky and Joanna (my baby sister and my cousin) and across from Joanna's really racist Grandmother from New York. She has a really strong accent that's vaguely hilarious to listen to and constantly trashes the Red Sox to try and stir up trouble (NONE OF THOSE BOYS IN RED HAVE DEREK JETER'S ASS. Yeah, thanks Grandma).
So she was trying to get some more booze and asked the waiter for a bottle when there was already one on the table to which the waiter jokingly replied, "Give me your number and we'll split a bottle tonight." The waiter was absolutely adorable.
What does my cousin's Grandmother do? Bury her head in her hands and yelp, "OH GOLLY! I'VE GOT MYSELF INTO TROUBLE. SOMEONE HELLLP!" The waiter just chuckled and fetched the fortune cookies. Lo and behold, her fortune was the alliances you forge today will prove fruitful. She started screaming and flipping out and the waiter looked like he was trying really hard not to pee his pants laughing. Needless to say, we gave him a really good tip. My own fortune puzzled me a bit. Just believe it! Oil and water cannot be mix.
I also almost killed my cousin come cake time; I took a picture of her making a really obnoxious face and showed it to her while she was eating. She started choking/crying laughing and uhh...I took pictures of that too. At least the pictures were taken on her camera, so she can delete them if she so chooses.
Then I went back home and picked up Colin the BFF for his last night in Massachusetts. I will miss that boy and the shenanigans we get ourselves into. We went to CVS to wait for people because when my friends say 10pm, they usually mean around 10:30. He made fun of me for massive fail in several simple tasks and as we were leaving this kid that couldn't have been a day over fifteen started begging us to pick him up some "Dutches." I turn to Colin and is like WTF is a dutch? (Because obviously he did not mean the people.) Neither of us really knew what sort of drug it was, but regardless, so not buying whatever the hell a dutch is for someone underage and not capable of purchasing it himself.
So then we rounded everyone up and went atomic bowling, like all the really cool kids do on Saturday night. Basically, it's late night bowling with crazy strobe lights and obnoxious club music. One of the lanes went awol and we had to use the heavy ones (OMG GUYS. LOOK HOW BIG MY BALLS ARE). I grabbed this one that was way too heavy for me, rolled it into the gutter and fell right on my ass. It was very special of me and Colin ran up and dragged me around my my hands for a bit before helping me up. All the dust from the lane glowed up like crazy on my black shirt! Because under the lights all the whites look all glowey and whatnot. We were pretty obnoxious, and demanded a discount because our lanes malfunctioned around the 45 minute mark. But we did end up getting a discount and it was only about 5 bucks each. Non che male.
I ended up bailing on Startrek with Bobby today. Sad, but we ended up moving my room into the bigger room downstairs so my former room can be converted into an exercise room. Confusing and sososo much work. Transporting my wardrobe and entire life has me worn out. Dad was kind of shocked to find out I still have birthday cards from when I was seven. He loled over the "Nuclear Waste Deposit" sign on my room from before. Not that funny Dad, not that funny.
Also, my Mom got us all and entirely by accident. She cleaned out the water bubbler with vinegar and never saw fit to tell any of us. We were all hacking out the really gross water and she was like...oops, by bad. Needless to say, she is shunned today. Or well, until now because she made coffee and it smells delicious.
And...shutting up now.
Anyway, back to yesterday's stories of graduation parties. We stopped by a family friend's place for awhile and chilled/gossiped madly about everyone and everything there. After about an hour, we had to go to my cousin's grad party at a Chinese restaurant. It's a really good place and my cousins are ridiculous, so I was looking forward to it. I sat between Becky and Joanna (my baby sister and my cousin) and across from Joanna's really racist Grandmother from New York. She has a really strong accent that's vaguely hilarious to listen to and constantly trashes the Red Sox to try and stir up trouble (NONE OF THOSE BOYS IN RED HAVE DEREK JETER'S ASS. Yeah, thanks Grandma).
So she was trying to get some more booze and asked the waiter for a bottle when there was already one on the table to which the waiter jokingly replied, "Give me your number and we'll split a bottle tonight." The waiter was absolutely adorable.
What does my cousin's Grandmother do? Bury her head in her hands and yelp, "OH GOLLY! I'VE GOT MYSELF INTO TROUBLE. SOMEONE HELLLP!" The waiter just chuckled and fetched the fortune cookies. Lo and behold, her fortune was the alliances you forge today will prove fruitful. She started screaming and flipping out and the waiter looked like he was trying really hard not to pee his pants laughing. Needless to say, we gave him a really good tip. My own fortune puzzled me a bit. Just believe it! Oil and water cannot be mix.
I also almost killed my cousin come cake time; I took a picture of her making a really obnoxious face and showed it to her while she was eating. She started choking/crying laughing and uhh...I took pictures of that too. At least the pictures were taken on her camera, so she can delete them if she so chooses.
Then I went back home and picked up Colin the BFF for his last night in Massachusetts. I will miss that boy and the shenanigans we get ourselves into. We went to CVS to wait for people because when my friends say 10pm, they usually mean around 10:30. He made fun of me for massive fail in several simple tasks and as we were leaving this kid that couldn't have been a day over fifteen started begging us to pick him up some "Dutches." I turn to Colin and is like WTF is a dutch? (Because obviously he did not mean the people.) Neither of us really knew what sort of drug it was, but regardless, so not buying whatever the hell a dutch is for someone underage and not capable of purchasing it himself.
So then we rounded everyone up and went atomic bowling, like all the really cool kids do on Saturday night. Basically, it's late night bowling with crazy strobe lights and obnoxious club music. One of the lanes went awol and we had to use the heavy ones (OMG GUYS. LOOK HOW BIG MY BALLS ARE). I grabbed this one that was way too heavy for me, rolled it into the gutter and fell right on my ass. It was very special of me and Colin ran up and dragged me around my my hands for a bit before helping me up. All the dust from the lane glowed up like crazy on my black shirt! Because under the lights all the whites look all glowey and whatnot. We were pretty obnoxious, and demanded a discount because our lanes malfunctioned around the 45 minute mark. But we did end up getting a discount and it was only about 5 bucks each. Non che male.
I ended up bailing on Startrek with Bobby today. Sad, but we ended up moving my room into the bigger room downstairs so my former room can be converted into an exercise room. Confusing and sososo much work. Transporting my wardrobe and entire life has me worn out. Dad was kind of shocked to find out I still have birthday cards from when I was seven. He loled over the "Nuclear Waste Deposit" sign on my room from before. Not that funny Dad, not that funny.
Also, my Mom got us all and entirely by accident. She cleaned out the water bubbler with vinegar and never saw fit to tell any of us. We were all hacking out the really gross water and she was like...oops, by bad. Needless to say, she is shunned today. Or well, until now because she made coffee and it smells delicious.
And...shutting up now.