roygbiv 6: indigo

[quellazaire]

indigo;
pg-13
minho/taemin
suspense
A moment here and a moment there.

AN: It's been awhile since I've updated because I HAVE NOT HAD ACCESS TO THE WORLD WIDE WEB. I've suffered and hemmed and hawed about it and now I'm going to post this fic in the few hours I have at Barnes & Noble to do so. I don't know when I'll have internet again. T^T

As for the fic, not sure how to categorize it. It's not scary, but it has horror aspects, I guess? And picture credit to weheartit, click the title under the cut to view. For the purpose of this fic, even though it's a dog, we'll say it's a wolf! ^^



indigo;


the wolf has been circling for days. taemin wonders if it knows he's there, because he never sees it when he actually leaves the house. he comes and goes during the day as he pleases, taking off on his bike in the early mornings, off to school.

it's not just a wolf that follows him, but a crow as well. taemin half expects it to cry, "nevermore!" by his windowsill at night, but he's never there at night, it's just the wolf, and taemin's mind is just too cliche to come up with something more imaginative.

"wolves don't come this close to town" his friend chides, flipping a page in a book in which the text is too small for taemin to skim over his shoulder. "of course you'd think it's a wolf. it’s just a dog"

"it's a wolf," taemin presses. "it's big, it's kinda lanky and stuff, it has these blue-ish purple-ish eyes"

his friend snorts, never turning to face him and act like he cares, hears. "and there's your crow" he says, bony finger pointing out the open school window. he laughs when taemin looks; it's just a flock of grackles loitering around the courtyard.

the sun is low and school has ended when taemin mounts his bike and goes home, ignoring the chill; it's nearing winter. when he turns up his driveway he slams to a halt, almost toppling off his bike. the wolf is seated at his doorstep, pale eyes alert, menacing. taemin just stops at the gate to his house and they stare into endlesslessy deep pupils, one to the other.

"indigo" taemin blurts out, "that's the color"

the wolf's tail swishes twice, slowly, when he speaks. taemin knows someone in their right mind would call animal services, back slowly away, or even scream and run around like a headless chicken. but taemin also knows--he just has this feeling--that this dog, wolf, stray, whatever, isn't going to do anything.

he swings his leg off his bike and pushes through the gates, slowly wheeling the vehicle up to the patio, all the while watching the canine, and it watching him. he leans his bike against the picket, and places one foot on the first step.

the wolf is the picture of stoic, sitting on its haunches and eyeing him like a hawk. taemin takes a second step, and pauses when its lips curl ferrally, just a touch, and white, sharp teeth wink at him against pitch gums.

taemin's going to die one way or the other, he supposes. he's too close to run away, and that's his only real option at the moment. but he's not scared. he's just intrigued. his heart beats faster, in a strange way. in anticipation.

then the wolf gets to its feet and flits off, jumping the patio railing and disappearing into the woods that surround taemin's home.

taemin slips the key into the lock and goes inside, closing the door and listening to the small wind chime tinkle against the glass.

he lives alone; his mother forever traveling the world capturing pieces of art, preserving nature in one way or another. taemin is much the same, preferring to paint new worlds onto a blank canvas.

it's a bit of a lonely existence, having an entire house and several acres to himself. he lives at the edge of the small town, down a dirt road far from any other people.

when the sun sets that night, taemin hears the wolf howl, nearby, and the whoosh of the wind against the creaky old house. ironically, it's a full moon--or close to it--and rain has been forecasted for the late evening.

"have you seen it before now?" his friend asks over the phone. taemin just can't keep it to himself; it gets a little creepy at night.

"no, i just started seeing it at the beginning of the month" taemin hugs the phone between his ear and shoulder, doodling random swirls on his homework.

"i've never really heard of a white wolf"

"with indigo eyes" taemin adds. "me either"

there's a silence on the line before taemin sits straight, hearing the rustle and creak of what he's sure is the rocking chair on the patio.

"taemin?" his friend’s tinny voice is tentative, like he can feel it too--that oppressive, thriller-movie aura.

"i think it’s here again" taemin says in a whisper, slowly getting to his feet.

"maybe it's a werewolf"

"that's backwards" taemin says, feels like he’s not getting through to him, anyone, he’s getting nowhere, and creeping into the kitchen to peer out the window at the patio. the wind outside is growing stronger, and no one occupies the chair. rain hits the window and taemin drops his phone in surprise. when he picks it up, he hears, "what about the crow?"

taemin straightens just as lightning brightens the room, and through the window he sees the crow sitting on the arm of the rocking chair, head cocked and one beady eye watching him through the fogging glass.

"what about it?" taemin exhales.

"there's a myth about those too"

"go on" taemin says, eyes never leaving the crow, which shivers the water off its blue-black feathers.

"you know. aside from nevermore, they are seen as omens for death or general illness, in mind or body"

"great" taemin replies, thinks, i am losing my mind. "i’ve got to go" and hangs up.

thunder finally crackles through the sky, shaking the house, and the crow's beak is open like it spoke the sound into being. taemin shivers and goes to his room to dig out a sweater, slipping it on, grabbing a bat and a flashlight, and sneaking towards his front door. he's going to figure this out now, fuck the weather. he's starting to think maybe it's all in his head. a white wolf with light eyes, a crow, circling him, following him, but never really there when he thinks they would be. should be. no one else has reported the constant howling, and he knows people would. wouldn't they?

taemin kicks open the door, flashlight tucked into his pocket and bat held at the ready. the door swings on its hinges against the wall and taemin skids out, braced for an attack of claws and sharp beak. there is none. instead taemin sees the outline of a figure sitting in the rocking chair, slowly swaying back and forth. it's too dark to be certain, but he is reassured when lightning strikes once more, revealing a soaking wet man sat rigid in the seat.

taemin shrieks and backs against the patio railing hard, lower back stinging with the impact. he keeps the bat barred between himself and the man, whose eyes had been the same indigo as the wolf's against the lightning flash.

"why are you here?" taemin asks, rain soaking into his back. shakily, he fumbles against the wall for the porch switch, and, flicking it on, sees the man rising to his feet. under normal light he looks less sinister. he is tall and lanky, his eyes are dark, like taemin's, and he has short, mussed up hair, bangs pressed against his forehead and dripping against his high cheekbones. he looks familiar. “you shouldn’t be here” taemin’s voice shakes.

"there's something i need" the man says, voice low and satiny. a shiver overcomes taemin, cold be damned.

"don't come closer" taemin hisses, wondering why a wolf didn't terrify him, with pointy teeth and twenty sharp claws. but there is something about this man--no, a boy, really, he's too young--that is offsetting and eerie. it can't be, taemin thinks, he can't be--

the boy stops. he is dressed darkly, trailing sleeves and clinging pants, no shoes, large, sagging hood. "i didn't mean to scare you"

"i'm sure i don't," taemin goes on, "have what you need"

"i know you have it" the boy replies. "i've been watching you for awhile now"

oh god, thinks taemin in silent horror, he is. and he wants my heart. he's going to eat my heart. taemin closes his eyes. "you're not real" he breathes out slowly.

"i won't be soon" the boy agrees readily, tone almost desperate. "i don't have time. i need--"

taemin doesn't want to hear it. he swings the bat and it connects with something solid, terribly solid, and he hears the thump of something falling onto the ground, horribly real, and slowly opens his eyes.

he sees blood mixing with slanting rain, dripping between the wooden floor, he sees the man collapsed and unmoving, thick-lashed eyes clumped and closed.

taemin drops the bat and kneels beside him, feeling for a pulse, mind amok with disconcerted thoughts, so many he's running on instinct. he's still alive. taemin finally breathes again in mild relief. he thinks about calling the police, or should it be the shelter--he doesn't know--but finds himself pulling the boy into the hall instead.

in the bright light of the kitchen, taemin's fear dissipates. he presses a washcloth to the wound on the boy's head, keeping his own carefully blithe. part of him still thinks this isn't real, it can't be, he's really lost it. living alone in this tiny house for so long has done things to him.

the boy groans a little and shifts against the chair taemin has propped him up onto, then goes silent again. he's pale, taemin notes, sickly so, and a little thin, if sinewy. his lips are so chapped their scabbed in places, and his fingernails are caked with dirt, his hands and feet almost black with grime.

taemin sticks his hands in the boy's pockets, finds leaves and twigs and something solid, feeling like society. a wallet. he dumps out a few coins, a bent fair ticket, and a ripped receipt, blue ink faded to illegibility, and finally, an id card.

so he has an identity, taemin thinks, flipping the card to the front. it's scratched up and faded as well. all he can read is a few numbers of social security and choi minho, his name.

taemin is soaked, and feeling comes back to his body in a sudden shockwave. he looks at the boy--minho--unconscious across from him. whoever he is, whatever he is, taemin doesn't know. but that doesn't stop him from pulling his arm across his shoulder and dragging him to the bathroom, undressing him and drying him off, wincing at all the beaded scabs and cuts painted across his body, and finally putting him under the warm covers of his bed, hiking up a chair, and waiting. he keeps the bat right beside his feet, still wary, and sits backwards on the chair, arms resting on the rounded top.

the thunder echoes, challenging the wind conversing with the creaky house, like haunted angels.

he wakes up to a low and sharp bark, and promptly falls off the chair.

"omigod" he says, eyes wide, hand scrambling for the bat. the wolf stands before him on his bed, pale eyes alert, white ear stained a dirty red. before taemin can get a hold of the weapon the canine leaps and lands taemin onto his back, paws pinning his shoulders and teeth bared in warning.

"okay, okay" taemin squeezes his eyes shut and braces himself, trying to ignore the pain digging into his upper body. "is there a painless way to do this? please?"

the wolf steps off him, but stays hovering above, jowls closing into a sated line.

taemin waits, staring up at the wolf--no--minho. he doesn't try to eat taemin, rip out his heart, anything. in fact, the wolf backs up when taemin slowly sits forward, reaching a tentative hand to caress coarse, dirty white fur. the canine lets him, ears forward in acute attentiveness.

"what is it that you want, then?" taemin murmurs. "i thought you wanted my heart"

of course, the wolf doesn't reply. who is taemin fooling, dogs can't talk, and he is still crazier than crazy. he gets to his feet and leaves the room, trying to ignore the four padding echoes that means the wolf is following him. taemin goes outside, sees the bloodstain on the porch, and feels the brush of fur against his thigh before the wolf dashes away, running for the woods.

immediately taemin gives chase. "hey, wait--" and crashes into the brush to pursue him. the wolf slows at points, even stopping to look back to make sure taemin is following. taemin trips and climbs after him, momentarily losing sight of the white tail. he rushes onwards, nearly stumbling off a cliff before falling backwards onto his ass, breathing heavily.

the wolf has disappeared; the cliff is long and wide--there's nowhere he could have gone but straight.

inching back to the cliff, taemin looks down. nearly thirty feet deep, half covered by brown and red leaves, is a body. taemin searches along the cliff bank for a way to descend, finding one aways off and scooting down, ripping his jeans in several places in the process.

his heart beats in that same anticipation, half expecting to find this minho dead and rotting and picturing himself pleading insanity to the court, because he so did not murder him. it was self defense at the time. it was. if any of this is even real.

when taemin finally reaches minho, he's glad to find he doesn't smell dead, and brushes the leaves away before anxiously rolling him over. yeah, it is minho. he hadn't been sure, but there's no mistaking the wan pallor, chapped lips, and matted hair. taemin brushes his thumb over minho's temple where he had hit him, but there's no injury.

"hey" taemin says, lightly shaking him, "hey, choi minho, right? hey"

taemin jumps when he hears that low bark again, whipping around to see the white wolf sitting in the middle of the clearing. when taemin turns back around minho's body has vanished; there is no misplacement amongst the leaves, like it had never been there.

what the hell is going on.

almost obsessively, taemin rises and follows after the wolf again, desperate for an answer. he's lost by now, deep into the miles of woods he knows exist behind his house, and he'd left his cellphone at home. how stupid. how typical. those thoughts barely brush taemin's mind though, pursuing the canine wildly, ignoring the thorns that snag at his arms, scratch at his face. he's barefoot too, slipping against sharp rocks, pointing twigs, but pressing on.

his stomach growls and the sun is high in the sky, and he's almost warm enough to discard his sweatshirt, when the wolf finally stops a few yards ahead. when taemin catches up with him, he's sitting in front of a polished stone sticking out of the ground, broken near the base. a few feet away lies the rest of it, square and rounding into fancy edges, engraved with a name, an epithet, but no date.

taemin's ears are ringing when he skims it: choi minho, a moment i will never forget.

taemin sits hard onto the ground and tucks his knees to his chest, hiding his face in the small hollow he created. beside him, the wolf whines quietly, as if picking up his feelings.

"i can see a ghost" taemin whispers to himself. "i can see a ghost. you are a ghost. what are you? a ghost. i can see ghosts" he echoes the words over and over, rocking on the bumpy ground until his ass goes numb and his feet start to throb from his excursion.

he stays there, folding into himself by the broken tombstone, until the sun begins to set. the wolf has curled up next to him, sharing warmth, and it looks nothing close to menacing, everything close to broken and wrong, like taemin feels. and lost. hopelessly lost.

by the time the moon has swapped places with the sun, taemin has dozed off against the tree, head lulling onto his side. when a hand presses against his cheek, he rises to the dredges of consciousness.

he doesn't have the energy to be scared or feel anything, really. minho sits in front of him, looking concerned. "i'm sorry" he says.

"what for?" taemin replies. "are you dead? a ghost? a wolf? a crow? what are you"

"choi minho" minho replies. "that's all i am. i'm not dead"

"yes you are" taemin shakes his head. "what do you need? what do i have that you need?"

"a moment" minho says, "can you remember a moment?"

taemin bites his lip, close to unexplainable tears. "i don't remember you. there's probably hundreds of years between us"

"i'm not dead" minho’s eyes flick back and forth from taemin's, searching and intrusive. his hand remains on taemin's face, borrowing heat. "i was never alive"

taemin presses his eyes shut to break the intense gaze. "i don't remember you" he says again.

"that's not what i'm asking of you" minho finally pulls away, leaning back to sit on the broken edge of his tombstone. "how will you get home?"

"i don't know" taemin replies. "where am i?"

"where do you think you are?"

"in the woods behind my house" as soon as taemin says it, he knows that's not where he is. wherever he is isn't real. isn't the right place.

minho holds out his hand, palm flat, between them. "between you and me is my hand, yes?" he asks, looking up at taemin and waiting for confirmation. when taemin nods, he continues. "you are in your woods and i am in mine" minho closes his fist, "and in the middle there's a gray area. a bridge sometimes," he opens his palm again, "but mostly a closed door" and closes it once more.

"isn't there an easier way to tell me?" taemin frowns, almost laughing at minho's exasperated exhale, a little amused, mostly frustrated.

"you know what i'm saying" minho replies. "but it's not quite the same. the bridge is so long it can't be seen in its entirety, it's so long it's dangerous to cross" taemin pictures a long, swaying bridge over a deep, misty chasm as minho continues, "and because no one should cross it, no one will see it. no one will know what it is, that it's there, that one or the other reside right next to each other"

"not even in your woods?" taemin's voice is hardly above a whisper, eyes gleaming in the darkness.

"no one," minho emphasizes. "should" he opens his palm half-way, two fingers over his palm, three curling open. "but i did, and i tried to cross it, and the door tried to close, but it can't because of me. i've been stuck in between, in the middle, neither here nor there. the bridge will only last for so long"

"what do i have to do with all of this?" taemin asks, "how do i have what you need?"

"i can't account for your body, taemin" minho says, and taemin wonders how he knows his name, "but you've been here longer than i have, except you come and go as you please. like you have the key to the door. like it's nothing to you" here, minho sounds almost bitter.

"i don't know what you're talking about" taemin snaps back. "i'll quote every stupid b rated movie out there, but it's true: i am just a regular high school student who goes to school and lives alone and paints and i have friends and--"

minho holds up one finger, cutting him off. "a moment" he says. "can be anything. it can be a thought, it can be a second in time, it can be a word, it can be a dream, a memory, it can be a sound or a feeling, or it can be all those things combined. a moment can be anything"

"and you need a moment?"

"a moment where you see a wolf, a crow, then shake your head and shake them away, a moment where you sit at your easel and create nature, where you say your mother captures the real thing and tears it apart from reality" minho shakes his head. "so yes, sure, but more specifically, i need you"

taemin presses his hands to his temples, confused. "are you saying i'm a moment?"

"what i am saying is here anything is possible and you've created anything. do you even remember what your woods look like?" your world, your reality, what's real, he's saying, taemin can hear the tacit meaning behind the analogy.

"my woods," taemin echoes, "are probably in my head"

"if you want" minho answers, then he drops his hand so there is nothing between them but air--if there is even air here. because they aren't in the forest anymore, but on a bridge spanning a chasm just like taemin had pictured. "taemin, i need you to cross the bridge with me"

it all comes crashing down around him. a singularity, talking to walls and hearing answers back, seeing wolves and thinking, "nevermore", catching freedom and creating a cage to keep it in, all in a single moment. taemin has one thought: what is real? and there goes another moment, or is it all the same?

"what if i don't want to?" taemin suddenly feels scared. he turns around and looks the other way. they are in the middle. the crow swoops down past him, out of the mist, then swerves up, circling meticulously. taemin is scared to move, scared to look behind him, scared to admit it's all true. he feels the warm brush of fur and the wolf trots past him, going forward.

a warm hand presses against his palm. minho's still here.

"you want to" he says, "don't you?"

taemin steps forward, follows the white wolf into a blinding mist, closes his eyes against the cool, malleable air, and opens them to the sun shining brightly against his face, leaves cascading from his body as he slowly sits up. no, wrong. the bright light is too fluorescent, the blanket too clean and itchy.

in the solitary room, the white wolf, as white as everything else, stares at him with its pale eyes, static and daunting.

“taemin?” a familiar voice asks, a familiar hand touches his cheek.

and somewhere in the back of his mind, taemin knows the moment has come to an end.

note; There are lots of parallels in this one. In the real world, Minho and Taemin were obviously bro!friends (Katie, <3) or a couple, what have you; thus Taemin’s insane mind coming up with let's call him his!Minho wanting his heart. Because his!Minho is sane, even if he’s still in Taemin's insane head. He tries to guide Taemin back to reality. It sort of doesn’t really work. And Taemin is in a mental institution the entire time. I can’t say he’s been in a coma or if he’s been literally living this reality, seeing what he wants to see, perceiving reality how he wants to perceive it. It's up to the reader. :D

The white wolf was not Minho, though Taemin thought it was. I guess, in a way, the white wolf was another creation of Taemin's mind, as was the crow. They could embody his "id"? I wonder if insane people have lost touch with their "ego" or “super-ego”. /shuts up