If It Were Simple
if it were simple;
pg-13
nichkhun/wooyoung
angst, romance
The points they touch are like tiny stars in a constellation.
AN: I'm not sure what I just wrote. But we'll go with it. Won't we? :C Pandora just played me the perfect song for this fic. In a Manner of Speaking - Nouvelle Vague.
if it were simple;
In a manner of speaking, I just want to say
that I could never forget the way
you told me everything
by saying nothing
-Nouvelle Vague
The points they touch are like dots or tiny stars in a constellation. If you ask him, Nichkhun wouldn't be able to map it out sensefully, but it makes sense in his head, and in his heart, and those are the only two places that matter.
Wooyoung is simple. Wooyoung is something else. He's caught Nichkhun with his addictive smiles and his goofy nature, his sensitive tendencies and -- basically everything about him. It's ridiculous. It's all over the place. It shouldn't make any sense, but Nichkhun follows the patterns, and even at night, when he should be sleeping, the stars don't shine brighter than the way he's come to fall in love with Wooyoung.
It's overwhelming.
"Hyung?" Wooyoung's saying, not to him, to Taecyeon; and there he goes again. You'd think it wouldn't be natural, that it'd be scripted, but Wooyoung is honestly tugging on Taecyeon's shirt like an unhappy puppy wanting attention.
"Yeah?" Taecyeon replies offhandedly, he's on the phone. He's in one of his rare, serious moods. "What do you want?"
"It's more like what Chansung wants," Wooyoung says moodily, because Taecyeon's moody. They're all moody and tired. Nichkhun's about to get moody since he's watching Taecyeon realize his tone was rather harsh and swing an arm around Wooyoung's shoulders, squishing him against his body. It doesn't matter that Wooyoung still looks annoyed. He approaches them.
"What does Chansung want?" Nichkhun asks, "Taec's busy."
"Oh," Wooyoung ducks from under Taecyeon's embrace. "Food." Truth is, they all want to eat. Chansung's always the one admitting it for all of them. But still.
"Can't he go get it himself?" Junsu says from across the room. "Where is he anyway?"
"With Minjae, so he can't." Wooyoung replies.
"Why can't you go get it?" Junsu adds, sending him a pointed look.
Wooyoung throws his hands up in the air. "Because I don't fucking want to?"
"I'll do it," Nichkhun says, hushing Junsu before he can retort. "Just come with me."
Wooyoung drops his arms. "Okay." He concedes easily.
"The hell?" Junsu says, but his tone is amused. "You don't want to, but with Nichkhun it's okay?"
"Shut up." Wooyoung mumbles with a childish grin, skidding sideways out the mirrored door. Nichkhun follows shortly after him, a satisfied feeling spinning within him.
The walk to the convenience store is pleasant. It's not often Nichkhun gets to spend time with just Wooyoung, so he makes the most out of it. Or, he's about to, but Wooyoung speaks up instead.
"To be honest," he says, "I haven't been watching your parts of We Got Married."
Nichkhun's hand drops from the friendly reach around Wooyoung's torso he had been about to attempt. "What?"
"I mean," Wooyoung goes on, like he's prepared this entire speech and has been waiting for the right moment to recite it, "It's not that I don't want to, or that I'm too busy to. It's just."
"Hold on." Nichkhun says, stopping them right in front of the 7-Eleven. The fluorescent light is flickering with an obnoxious whine and water is dripping onto the ground. Typical city streets. "Why are you telling me this?"
"I guess I meant it when I said I was jealous." Wooyoung replies, then quickly goes into the store.
Nichkhun follows after him with slight delay. He has to be rational about this so he says, "I didn't know you liked Victoria."
"Not that. Your relationship. I mean, even if it's fake, we can't have that."
There were so many double meanings in what Wooyoung said. Well, there's just one, really. But. Nichkhun's unsure of how to respond. "Uhm, I'm sorry?"
"Do you really like her?" Wooyoung asks as they skim the aisles. Nichkhun, at this point, is just following hopelessly after him, because Wooyoung seems to know what he wants. And he's loading up: ramen, chocolate, vitamin water, cigarettes for Minjae, ice cream.
Nichkhun isn't sure if he should be honest. Of course he likes her. She's pretty and she's funny and she's fresh. She's a change from the guys. But she's not Wooyoung. He likes her because it's easy to, safe to, because he honestly just does. But he doesn't love her. So that's what he tells Wooyoung, because it's a better idea then spouting nonsense about no, no, I like you. I more than like you. It's just, could we, I mean, we could -- it would never come out pretty, simple, or right. Because it's not right. As much as Nichkhun likes to fantasize the thought, romance it, whatever. It's just not.
His answer makes Wooyoung's hands curl around the chips he's just grabbed and Nichkhun can hear them crunching to smaller pieces. It looks as if his reply had annoyed him, but all Wooyoung says when they get to the cash register is, "You're paying."
The walk home is not pleasant, much to Nichkhun's dismay, but it's not unpleasant either. It's just quiet. They're both carrying two hands full of bags, full of snacks, and they had used the company card, since Nichkhun had it on him.
"Did I say something to bother you?" Nichkhun finally asks, because after mulling it over, he just can't make this connect to anything else.
"No." Wooyoung answers shortly as they head up the stairs to their dorm. "It's not you."
All interaction seems to stop there. It lasts a few hours that spans into a few days and has Nichkhun seriously befuddled and concerned and more than a little bothered; he has to admit, he's impatient. He also doesn't put up with pointless shit; and this seems rather pointless, because it's not getting either of them anywhere.
"Wooyoung," he says, cornering him when he enters his room to grab something he had left behind. They have a schedule to attend sooner or later, mostly, just sooner. Nichkhun slides to the door before Wooyoung and closes both of them into the messy room -- in such a state due to Nichkhun's stress and busyness. Wooyoung looks up at him, and instead of the blank face Nichkhun had expected, he's biting his lip and looking antsy.
"Yeah?" He replies.
"Did you actually watch an episode?" Nichkhun mutters, offhanded.
There is a pause, then Wooyoung looks at the wall. "I did."
When had the atmosphere between them become so drear? "Wooyoung," Nichkhun says again, weighted this time, and he reaches out to touch him, but Wooyoung avoids it and instead pushes Nichkhun out of his grasp.
"You shouldn't." He says.
It clicks then, because Nichkhun's not completely blind, and he boldly steps forward, puts his hands on Wooyoung's face and steadies it. "I should."
There's barely a second between them before he is pressing his lips to Wooyoung's, gentle and coaxing. Tentative. He gets braver when Wooyoung's hands go up to wrap around Nichkhun's wrists and instead of holding them away, they grip tight. Nichkhun's left his eyes open. Wooyoung's are scrunched closed, his eyebrows furrowing as he kisses back. He's not very good at it, but that's because he hasn't done it much. It doesn't matter. It doesn't. It's just right, it has to be.
Pulling away is a decision both of them have to regretfully make, in order to breathe, think, sacrifice. Wooyoung hasn't let go of Nichkhun's wrists though, they hang possessively between the both of them, linked. Wooyoung's fingers loop in the banded bracelets Nichkhun's always wearing.
"You know," Wooyoung says quietly, with an absent lick of his bottom lip, eyes skirting the floor and Nichkhun's bare feet. "This is probably a bad idea."
"Don't say it like that," Nichkhun says, because it is, but there's no conviction behind Wooyoung's voice, like he's never had a conviction in the first place. "What's another secret?"
"Heavy." Wooyoung answers, now biting his lip, turning it redder, and meeting eyes with Nichkhun. There's something else he wants to say, in the way his hands do finally retreat and his body posture becomes on guard, guilty. "Between us, I'm not sure. We, I mean. I mean, do you?" He's stuttering but speaking plainly, avoiding a point.
This is actually one of the many scenarios Nichkhun's worked out in his head. He smiles a few notches down from bright, holds up his hands to let Wooyoung know he'd never overstep his boundary. "I love you. And I know. I know." He says twice for emphasis, and they hold a long, communicative gaze.
"Then?" Wooyoung says, "I'm sorry."
"When this is all over, when this is done," Nichkhun motions vaguely to this, them, their lives, their occupations, this world they're living on, this place. "Would you? Would you ever?"
"I think I could." Wooyoung says, hands fisting in the hem of his shirt, upset. "You're my best friend."
"And that's enough." Nichkhun replies. He's still emitting a smile with the wattage stars are supposed to exude, yet his eyes lack vigor, they're deep, thoughtful, learning patience. "I won't ask for any more."
Wooyoung smiles back at him, and it's comfortable. It's relieved. It's full of but I do's and if I could's and If we were's. But it's void of the only thing that matters.
Wooyoung is simple and vivid, a bright pinpoint of small victories, hopeful ideas, youthful tendencies. He's a sun that Nichkhun might always orbit, waiting for eternity to turn into eternities and give him another chance.
Love, he thinks, in the van bustling with voices, makeups, promises that lack their meaning, Love.
Love is not a simple thing.
AN: To be honest, I don't think Nichkhun would ever be like this. Oh well. I also messed around with dialogue here, and writing style in general. I like messing around with that stuff. I'll just write weird shit and see if people read it. Er, like it. So yeah.
pg-13
nichkhun/wooyoung
angst, romance
The points they touch are like tiny stars in a constellation.
AN: I'm not sure what I just wrote. But we'll go with it. Won't we? :C Pandora just played me the perfect song for this fic. In a Manner of Speaking - Nouvelle Vague.
if it were simple;
In a manner of speaking, I just want to say
that I could never forget the way
you told me everything
by saying nothing
-Nouvelle Vague
The points they touch are like dots or tiny stars in a constellation. If you ask him, Nichkhun wouldn't be able to map it out sensefully, but it makes sense in his head, and in his heart, and those are the only two places that matter.
Wooyoung is simple. Wooyoung is something else. He's caught Nichkhun with his addictive smiles and his goofy nature, his sensitive tendencies and -- basically everything about him. It's ridiculous. It's all over the place. It shouldn't make any sense, but Nichkhun follows the patterns, and even at night, when he should be sleeping, the stars don't shine brighter than the way he's come to fall in love with Wooyoung.
It's overwhelming.
"Hyung?" Wooyoung's saying, not to him, to Taecyeon; and there he goes again. You'd think it wouldn't be natural, that it'd be scripted, but Wooyoung is honestly tugging on Taecyeon's shirt like an unhappy puppy wanting attention.
"Yeah?" Taecyeon replies offhandedly, he's on the phone. He's in one of his rare, serious moods. "What do you want?"
"It's more like what Chansung wants," Wooyoung says moodily, because Taecyeon's moody. They're all moody and tired. Nichkhun's about to get moody since he's watching Taecyeon realize his tone was rather harsh and swing an arm around Wooyoung's shoulders, squishing him against his body. It doesn't matter that Wooyoung still looks annoyed. He approaches them.
"What does Chansung want?" Nichkhun asks, "Taec's busy."
"Oh," Wooyoung ducks from under Taecyeon's embrace. "Food." Truth is, they all want to eat. Chansung's always the one admitting it for all of them. But still.
"Can't he go get it himself?" Junsu says from across the room. "Where is he anyway?"
"With Minjae, so he can't." Wooyoung replies.
"Why can't you go get it?" Junsu adds, sending him a pointed look.
Wooyoung throws his hands up in the air. "Because I don't fucking want to?"
"I'll do it," Nichkhun says, hushing Junsu before he can retort. "Just come with me."
Wooyoung drops his arms. "Okay." He concedes easily.
"The hell?" Junsu says, but his tone is amused. "You don't want to, but with Nichkhun it's okay?"
"Shut up." Wooyoung mumbles with a childish grin, skidding sideways out the mirrored door. Nichkhun follows shortly after him, a satisfied feeling spinning within him.
The walk to the convenience store is pleasant. It's not often Nichkhun gets to spend time with just Wooyoung, so he makes the most out of it. Or, he's about to, but Wooyoung speaks up instead.
"To be honest," he says, "I haven't been watching your parts of We Got Married."
Nichkhun's hand drops from the friendly reach around Wooyoung's torso he had been about to attempt. "What?"
"I mean," Wooyoung goes on, like he's prepared this entire speech and has been waiting for the right moment to recite it, "It's not that I don't want to, or that I'm too busy to. It's just."
"Hold on." Nichkhun says, stopping them right in front of the 7-Eleven. The fluorescent light is flickering with an obnoxious whine and water is dripping onto the ground. Typical city streets. "Why are you telling me this?"
"I guess I meant it when I said I was jealous." Wooyoung replies, then quickly goes into the store.
Nichkhun follows after him with slight delay. He has to be rational about this so he says, "I didn't know you liked Victoria."
"Not that. Your relationship. I mean, even if it's fake, we can't have that."
There were so many double meanings in what Wooyoung said. Well, there's just one, really. But. Nichkhun's unsure of how to respond. "Uhm, I'm sorry?"
"Do you really like her?" Wooyoung asks as they skim the aisles. Nichkhun, at this point, is just following hopelessly after him, because Wooyoung seems to know what he wants. And he's loading up: ramen, chocolate, vitamin water, cigarettes for Minjae, ice cream.
Nichkhun isn't sure if he should be honest. Of course he likes her. She's pretty and she's funny and she's fresh. She's a change from the guys. But she's not Wooyoung. He likes her because it's easy to, safe to, because he honestly just does. But he doesn't love her. So that's what he tells Wooyoung, because it's a better idea then spouting nonsense about no, no, I like you. I more than like you. It's just, could we, I mean, we could -- it would never come out pretty, simple, or right. Because it's not right. As much as Nichkhun likes to fantasize the thought, romance it, whatever. It's just not.
His answer makes Wooyoung's hands curl around the chips he's just grabbed and Nichkhun can hear them crunching to smaller pieces. It looks as if his reply had annoyed him, but all Wooyoung says when they get to the cash register is, "You're paying."
The walk home is not pleasant, much to Nichkhun's dismay, but it's not unpleasant either. It's just quiet. They're both carrying two hands full of bags, full of snacks, and they had used the company card, since Nichkhun had it on him.
"Did I say something to bother you?" Nichkhun finally asks, because after mulling it over, he just can't make this connect to anything else.
"No." Wooyoung answers shortly as they head up the stairs to their dorm. "It's not you."
All interaction seems to stop there. It lasts a few hours that spans into a few days and has Nichkhun seriously befuddled and concerned and more than a little bothered; he has to admit, he's impatient. He also doesn't put up with pointless shit; and this seems rather pointless, because it's not getting either of them anywhere.
"Wooyoung," he says, cornering him when he enters his room to grab something he had left behind. They have a schedule to attend sooner or later, mostly, just sooner. Nichkhun slides to the door before Wooyoung and closes both of them into the messy room -- in such a state due to Nichkhun's stress and busyness. Wooyoung looks up at him, and instead of the blank face Nichkhun had expected, he's biting his lip and looking antsy.
"Yeah?" He replies.
"Did you actually watch an episode?" Nichkhun mutters, offhanded.
There is a pause, then Wooyoung looks at the wall. "I did."
When had the atmosphere between them become so drear? "Wooyoung," Nichkhun says again, weighted this time, and he reaches out to touch him, but Wooyoung avoids it and instead pushes Nichkhun out of his grasp.
"You shouldn't." He says.
It clicks then, because Nichkhun's not completely blind, and he boldly steps forward, puts his hands on Wooyoung's face and steadies it. "I should."
There's barely a second between them before he is pressing his lips to Wooyoung's, gentle and coaxing. Tentative. He gets braver when Wooyoung's hands go up to wrap around Nichkhun's wrists and instead of holding them away, they grip tight. Nichkhun's left his eyes open. Wooyoung's are scrunched closed, his eyebrows furrowing as he kisses back. He's not very good at it, but that's because he hasn't done it much. It doesn't matter. It doesn't. It's just right, it has to be.
Pulling away is a decision both of them have to regretfully make, in order to breathe, think, sacrifice. Wooyoung hasn't let go of Nichkhun's wrists though, they hang possessively between the both of them, linked. Wooyoung's fingers loop in the banded bracelets Nichkhun's always wearing.
"You know," Wooyoung says quietly, with an absent lick of his bottom lip, eyes skirting the floor and Nichkhun's bare feet. "This is probably a bad idea."
"Don't say it like that," Nichkhun says, because it is, but there's no conviction behind Wooyoung's voice, like he's never had a conviction in the first place. "What's another secret?"
"Heavy." Wooyoung answers, now biting his lip, turning it redder, and meeting eyes with Nichkhun. There's something else he wants to say, in the way his hands do finally retreat and his body posture becomes on guard, guilty. "Between us, I'm not sure. We, I mean. I mean, do you?" He's stuttering but speaking plainly, avoiding a point.
This is actually one of the many scenarios Nichkhun's worked out in his head. He smiles a few notches down from bright, holds up his hands to let Wooyoung know he'd never overstep his boundary. "I love you. And I know. I know." He says twice for emphasis, and they hold a long, communicative gaze.
"Then?" Wooyoung says, "I'm sorry."
"When this is all over, when this is done," Nichkhun motions vaguely to this, them, their lives, their occupations, this world they're living on, this place. "Would you? Would you ever?"
"I think I could." Wooyoung says, hands fisting in the hem of his shirt, upset. "You're my best friend."
"And that's enough." Nichkhun replies. He's still emitting a smile with the wattage stars are supposed to exude, yet his eyes lack vigor, they're deep, thoughtful, learning patience. "I won't ask for any more."
Wooyoung smiles back at him, and it's comfortable. It's relieved. It's full of but I do's and if I could's and If we were's. But it's void of the only thing that matters.
Wooyoung is simple and vivid, a bright pinpoint of small victories, hopeful ideas, youthful tendencies. He's a sun that Nichkhun might always orbit, waiting for eternity to turn into eternities and give him another chance.
Love, he thinks, in the van bustling with voices, makeups, promises that lack their meaning, Love.
Love is not a simple thing.
AN: To be honest, I don't think Nichkhun would ever be like this. Oh well. I also messed around with dialogue here, and writing style in general. I like messing around with that stuff. I'll just write weird shit and see if people read it. Er, like it. So yeah.