Fanfiction Competition!
Hey folks! This is my entry into our current AU fanfiction competition. I warn you though, the premise I wound up writing is a stretch to call AU...a pretty big stretch. But! I was having too much fun to stop so I'm entering it anyway! This is just chapter one of a multi-chapter story. I didn't want to put too much in one post, so my subsequent chapters will be along in other posts, though it's all the same story. Also, I couldn't figure out italics here so I just capitalized words that needed emphasis. I swear no one is randomly shouting half-way through a sentence!
Chapter 1
It was late and the king was restless. Not that this was unusual; the king was notorious throughout the palace for his odd hours. Tonight though, he could not have slept even if he wanted to. Once again he peered at the paper in front of him, though he could barely see it by the fading light of his fireplace. It didn’t matter; he had already read it half a dozen times in the past few hours.
It was a report from one of Attolia’s few remaining spies within the Mede Empire. It was hastily written, had killed no fewer than three horses in the course of being delivered, and held news that made the king feel chills no matter how many time he read it.
The Medes were on the move. They were on the move to such an extent that on the surface it appeared suicidal. Troops were being pulled from nearly all of their colonies. They were going to the coast of their realm and forming an undeniable army, one which was pointing directly at the Attolian peninsula.
Normally this would have been more than enough for the powers of the continent to quickly send their armies to Attolia’s aid, but for the past week reports, rumors, and gossip alike had been pouring into the kingdom. The realms of the continent were fighting already. They were in such a state of chaos that it was impossible to understand what was truly happening from all the various accounts. As far as anyone could tell the continent had somehow gotten into an all-out war practically overnight, and no one knew whom it was they were battling. All that concerned Eugenides was that he could count on no aid from that quarter.
With a frustrated sigh the king put down the paper and ran his hand over his face. He and the queen had spent hours going over their scattered knowledge of the situation: The Medes were coming. They were coming with an apparent utter disregard for any sense of hiding their intentions, and they were coming sooner than anyone had previously thought possible. The report that Eugenides continued to read again and again stated that the Medes had developed some new form of transport that could move on land or sea and was faster than any horse or ship. If the report was to be believed then the whole force of the Mede Empire would arrive in less than a week. Even united Attolia, Eddis, and Sounis could never prepare in time. It was a blessing they’d had any warning at all.
Once again Eugenides wracked his brain. He was used to being his most brilliant when situations were desperate, but this time each of his solutions was more impossible than the last. For the first time since he’d lost his hand Eugenides felt in danger of utterly succumbing to despair.
That was when he heard the odd, grating noise behind him.
Instantly on the defensive, Eugenides whirled around with his hook raised. Then he several times and rubbed his hand at his eyes. When he was finished the large box that had been materializing before him seemed fully solid.
Eugenides stared. It was a box. It was blue and said something about police and was a BOX that had appeared out of NOWHERE. If this was a message from the gods it was the strangest one he had ever received. Suddenly the door on the front of the box began to open and Eugenides took an instinctive step back.
A scrawny man in a striped suit emerged, his head turned, apparently talking to someone still inside the box.
“Come on!” said the man. “You must have heard of him! He was one of the greatest kings the world ever knew! He outwitted nations and was a master swordsman. Well, until his wife put a stop to the whole sword fighting thing that is. He took up stamp collecting after that and I hear he was bloody ferocious about it! ….Oh, hello.”
The man had finally turned his head and noticed that Eugenides was right behind him. They stared at each other, both with his own reasons for being a bit beyond words. Fortunately their awkward silence was soon broken by a strange yellow-haired woman who also emerged from the mysterious blue box.
“Well, I’m sorry!” she said with exasperation in her voice. “I must have slept through that particular lesson. So why don’t you…” She abruptly trailed off as she also noticed Eugenides.
The interruption had given the king a chance to recover his wits and he stepped forward in a defensive stance, his hook raised threateningly. “Who the HELL are you and how did you get in here?” He’d meant for it to sound threatening, but his voice came out more incredulous than anything. Indeed, upon seeing Gen’s hook the scrawny man, far from looking intimidated, smiled with an expression of absolute delight.
“Oh, it’s you! It’s so dark in here I thought you might be a guard or something.” The man continued to grin like a fool and then, to Eugenides’ complete bewilderment, the man turned and kissed the blue box he’d come in. “Oh, you beautiful darling, you. I love it when you take us the direct route!”
Eugenides tried again, this time managing to sound suitably dangerous. “Who ARE you, you madman?”
The man’s smile faltered a bit at the king’s stormy expression and he quickly pulled something small from his pocket. “Oh yes, excuse me,” the man said. “As you can see, I’m an official palace inspector, just here to make sure everything’s up to snuff.”
The man held up a small paper and Eugenides peered at it cautiously. It was the most official-looking document he had ever seen. It was labeled with the seals of no fewer than six monarchs and included the signature of Eugenides’ own father. It was unclear exactly what a minister of war would have to do with a palace inspector, but Gen lowered his hook all the same, thinking carefully.
“How did you get in here-,” Eugenides began when he finished reading, but he was interrupted by the strange man in stripes.
“So what’s been going on around here, then? You still busy juggling treacherous barons? Wooing your armies? Considering implementing a system of adhesives on all messages delivered within the realm? (You’ll quite like that one, I promise.) And while I’m here I’ve got to say I really admire you doing it all with one hand. I mean, I lost a hand once and it was a very traumatic minute or two before it grew back. Made me feel a bit Skywalker, you know? Except that you wouldn’t, I suppose. Anyway,” the man finally paused his rapid speaking and held out his right hand, “I’m the Doctor and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
There was a pause then as both men stared awkwardly at the Doctor’s hand. After a moment the Doctor flushed and put the offending hand in his pocket. “Right,” he muttered to himself, “always nice to meet the big dignitaries feeling like a complete idiot…”
The yellow-haired woman broke in again. “Hello your Highness,” she said with a semi-bow. “I’m Rose. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
It was just too much strangeness for the king. In an instant he felt the weariness he’d been holding off for hours close in on him. Instead of returning the woman’s pleasantries Eugenides turned and threw open the door of his bedroom, where a bored-looking guard hastily stood to attention.
“These two are palace inspectors,” Eugenides growled out, indicating Rose and the Doctor. “Find them a room and get someone competent to keep an eye on them. The gods have clearly decided that the world was not yet difficult enough tonight. I need sleep before I can deal with their latest pranks.”
And with that the king ushered out his uninvited guests and slammed the door behind them.
Unperturbed the Doctor turned to the bewildered guard and said, “Sorry, just pretend I’m a complete idiot for a moment, but could you tell me what year it is?”
Chapter 1
It was late and the king was restless. Not that this was unusual; the king was notorious throughout the palace for his odd hours. Tonight though, he could not have slept even if he wanted to. Once again he peered at the paper in front of him, though he could barely see it by the fading light of his fireplace. It didn’t matter; he had already read it half a dozen times in the past few hours.
It was a report from one of Attolia’s few remaining spies within the Mede Empire. It was hastily written, had killed no fewer than three horses in the course of being delivered, and held news that made the king feel chills no matter how many time he read it.
The Medes were on the move. They were on the move to such an extent that on the surface it appeared suicidal. Troops were being pulled from nearly all of their colonies. They were going to the coast of their realm and forming an undeniable army, one which was pointing directly at the Attolian peninsula.
Normally this would have been more than enough for the powers of the continent to quickly send their armies to Attolia’s aid, but for the past week reports, rumors, and gossip alike had been pouring into the kingdom. The realms of the continent were fighting already. They were in such a state of chaos that it was impossible to understand what was truly happening from all the various accounts. As far as anyone could tell the continent had somehow gotten into an all-out war practically overnight, and no one knew whom it was they were battling. All that concerned Eugenides was that he could count on no aid from that quarter.
With a frustrated sigh the king put down the paper and ran his hand over his face. He and the queen had spent hours going over their scattered knowledge of the situation: The Medes were coming. They were coming with an apparent utter disregard for any sense of hiding their intentions, and they were coming sooner than anyone had previously thought possible. The report that Eugenides continued to read again and again stated that the Medes had developed some new form of transport that could move on land or sea and was faster than any horse or ship. If the report was to be believed then the whole force of the Mede Empire would arrive in less than a week. Even united Attolia, Eddis, and Sounis could never prepare in time. It was a blessing they’d had any warning at all.
Once again Eugenides wracked his brain. He was used to being his most brilliant when situations were desperate, but this time each of his solutions was more impossible than the last. For the first time since he’d lost his hand Eugenides felt in danger of utterly succumbing to despair.
That was when he heard the odd, grating noise behind him.
Instantly on the defensive, Eugenides whirled around with his hook raised. Then he several times and rubbed his hand at his eyes. When he was finished the large box that had been materializing before him seemed fully solid.
Eugenides stared. It was a box. It was blue and said something about police and was a BOX that had appeared out of NOWHERE. If this was a message from the gods it was the strangest one he had ever received. Suddenly the door on the front of the box began to open and Eugenides took an instinctive step back.
A scrawny man in a striped suit emerged, his head turned, apparently talking to someone still inside the box.
“Come on!” said the man. “You must have heard of him! He was one of the greatest kings the world ever knew! He outwitted nations and was a master swordsman. Well, until his wife put a stop to the whole sword fighting thing that is. He took up stamp collecting after that and I hear he was bloody ferocious about it! ….Oh, hello.”
The man had finally turned his head and noticed that Eugenides was right behind him. They stared at each other, both with his own reasons for being a bit beyond words. Fortunately their awkward silence was soon broken by a strange yellow-haired woman who also emerged from the mysterious blue box.
“Well, I’m sorry!” she said with exasperation in her voice. “I must have slept through that particular lesson. So why don’t you…” She abruptly trailed off as she also noticed Eugenides.
The interruption had given the king a chance to recover his wits and he stepped forward in a defensive stance, his hook raised threateningly. “Who the HELL are you and how did you get in here?” He’d meant for it to sound threatening, but his voice came out more incredulous than anything. Indeed, upon seeing Gen’s hook the scrawny man, far from looking intimidated, smiled with an expression of absolute delight.
“Oh, it’s you! It’s so dark in here I thought you might be a guard or something.” The man continued to grin like a fool and then, to Eugenides’ complete bewilderment, the man turned and kissed the blue box he’d come in. “Oh, you beautiful darling, you. I love it when you take us the direct route!”
Eugenides tried again, this time managing to sound suitably dangerous. “Who ARE you, you madman?”
The man’s smile faltered a bit at the king’s stormy expression and he quickly pulled something small from his pocket. “Oh yes, excuse me,” the man said. “As you can see, I’m an official palace inspector, just here to make sure everything’s up to snuff.”
The man held up a small paper and Eugenides peered at it cautiously. It was the most official-looking document he had ever seen. It was labeled with the seals of no fewer than six monarchs and included the signature of Eugenides’ own father. It was unclear exactly what a minister of war would have to do with a palace inspector, but Gen lowered his hook all the same, thinking carefully.
“How did you get in here-,” Eugenides began when he finished reading, but he was interrupted by the strange man in stripes.
“So what’s been going on around here, then? You still busy juggling treacherous barons? Wooing your armies? Considering implementing a system of adhesives on all messages delivered within the realm? (You’ll quite like that one, I promise.) And while I’m here I’ve got to say I really admire you doing it all with one hand. I mean, I lost a hand once and it was a very traumatic minute or two before it grew back. Made me feel a bit Skywalker, you know? Except that you wouldn’t, I suppose. Anyway,” the man finally paused his rapid speaking and held out his right hand, “I’m the Doctor and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
There was a pause then as both men stared awkwardly at the Doctor’s hand. After a moment the Doctor flushed and put the offending hand in his pocket. “Right,” he muttered to himself, “always nice to meet the big dignitaries feeling like a complete idiot…”
The yellow-haired woman broke in again. “Hello your Highness,” she said with a semi-bow. “I’m Rose. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
It was just too much strangeness for the king. In an instant he felt the weariness he’d been holding off for hours close in on him. Instead of returning the woman’s pleasantries Eugenides turned and threw open the door of his bedroom, where a bored-looking guard hastily stood to attention.
“These two are palace inspectors,” Eugenides growled out, indicating Rose and the Doctor. “Find them a room and get someone competent to keep an eye on them. The gods have clearly decided that the world was not yet difficult enough tonight. I need sleep before I can deal with their latest pranks.”
And with that the king ushered out his uninvited guests and slammed the door behind them.
Unperturbed the Doctor turned to the bewildered guard and said, “Sorry, just pretend I’m a complete idiot for a moment, but could you tell me what year it is?”