Jul 05, 2005 15:28
I used to live in Korea. Honestly...I might as well now. You two are more distant to me then any amount of miles could add up to...Really, they go about their business and I really think they have no idea how hurt I am. I am hurt because they are not who I pretended they were. Lisa is not nurturing, she does not look out for my best interest. She asks questions not because she cares but because she wants to share my secrets with the world. So now...this really big thing is happening in my life and I won't share it. It hurts me. She used to be the one that I confided in...She used to be my savior...but while she was pretending to be there for me she gained energy from my pain. She loved the story and she loved telling it to the world. Then there is Andrya. She has never been someone I confided in...she always judged me harshly and I learned early on that she would only hurt me. But...when I was homeless she took me in...that counts for something, right? So this is really just my problem. They are happy...they have each other. I won't live that lie anymore.