Float On

[queensrimala]

Life is funny...when the sun is shining it is so much easier for me to be happy...today...I am floating through the day. Not especially excstatic...not especially depressed. I am feeling okay. My friend is sad...I want to be there for her...but sometimes she won't let me in...I wondered why her face looked the way it did...but didn't ask...(we were in class and I couldn't...)...she rushed out of the classroom before I could talk with her...as the door was closing just barely I could hear her say..."bucky (her dog) needs surgery again...he has cancer"...then a friend reminded me that today is the second anniversary of Ben's (her brother-in-law who was murdered in Iraq) death...We went through this together...a month after Ben died...my dad died and she was the only one who would listen...who could understand...who didn't lose patience with me as I continued to explore my grief and I think I was there for her...I was nice to share in that kind of pain...other people don't understand when you don't stop talking about it...or they are uncomfortable...she is no and was not...she understood...I was the first person that she called to tell about Ben...I hope that she answers the phone when I call her to tell her I love her...I hope she answers the door when I knock on it to give her a hug...

In the meantime I would like to thank you...(you know who you are) for helping me complete my survey today...I don't think I had a chance...I actually completed and turned in the IRB! Let's hope I hear back so that I can finish this research project. I feel good having completed it and I have you to thank for helping me...

I am grateful...for the people in my life...Isaiah, Maddy, Lisa, Andrya, DeVon, Soncera, Amy, Mommy, Denise, Alisa, Melanie, Jodi, Fable, Betsy, Kristen, Noelle, Johanna, Jeffrey the list is endless