(no subject)
"In the darkness of the back of the truck…I can hear the beating of my own frightened heart. I find myself doing something that I rarely do-I whisper a prayer to my God who is not my God.
My God is not My God b/c he does not answer my prayers. Either he has no power, in which case he may be a very nice fellow but he is not a God, or he does not like me, in which case he may be a God but he is not my God. I have prayed to him many times and he has never once done what I ask him to do. In fact, he usually does almost the exact opposite. Perhaps I should pray for what I do not want, and then I might get it.
Oh God who is not my God you who have never granted even one of my extremely reasonable requests. You may wonder why I am praying to you. Since we have such a bad track record together. Well, the simple fact is that I am alone here in the back of this truck, and whether you are a God or not, and whether or not you even like me or not, you are all I have at the moment. You are it
..Now, it it true that I have not led a perfect life. I admit that some of the thoughts that pop into my head are shameful and sinful and just plain outrageous, and if you can scan then over my shoulder, so to speak, I can imagine why you are disappointed in me. Furthermore, I* know I have said on more that one occasion that I do not believe in you. But the truth is, O my God who is not my God, I did believe in you all along. I simply was’t scared enough to admit it. Everybody believes in God if they are frightened enough, and right now I am feeling particularly faithful.
But-and this is the most important thing, so please hear me out-I believe that deep down I am not such a bad person. I am nor cruel. I do not hurt people without due case. And I will try to be an even better person if you will just grant one very simple request: Get me out of here. Let me go home. Do not allow them man who is not my father to hurt me in whatever excruciating way he has planned. Show me some sign that you are with me, and that you have heard my prayer, and that you are prepared to act.
In the lonely silence of the back of the truck, I wait for some form of divine sign. It would be nice if a dove would perch on my shoulder. I would ever settle for a moth landing on my nose. But if there is a sign I do not detect it. We roll through the night. And I am all alone in the darkness, listening to the beating of my own heart."
'You don't know me'
-David Klass
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