shadows fall is not screamo, its gay metal
ok....marco is taking me to the shadows fall concert thursday, juarez friday, saturday shopping with mommy and grandma, and visiting andres...
i hope marco doesnt read this he wouldnt understand... hopefully the visit wih andres goes well... i miss his humor... im begining to think marco was right that we shouldnt be together... but i think hes falling back in love with me...
monday night... serious nervous breakdown... nothing has happend like it before... i washonestly scared... i think its all the stress of my family being evicted, and living with marco, trying to get a job, get along with marco, trying to graduate, and everything... well anyways, it started with me sleeping a lot that day, then i fell asleep right beforebed time, every five minutes i would wake up scared... i wasnt scared of anything... but i would jump... well me and marco had gotten into a fight before because i had cut for the first time in like 8 months... but i finally got up and marco made the bed... the whole thing with me waking up off and on kept gettting worse... well after a few minutes i couldnt breathand i was hyper ventilating... so marco got his sister... they were going to take me to the hospital but she told him to fill to fill up the bath tub with hot water first and put me in it.. well i was ok at first starting to breath then i started shaking really bad, and everything got to loud, the water running, marco trying to keep me awake cas i started blacking out and like it was all too much, i cried for about and hour, i wanted to scream realy loud and when i wascrying i was shreaking trying not to scream, everything started to hurt then tingle, and i couldnt move my body at all especially my left arm... it scared me... marco thought i was possesed, then he said it was my body shutting down because of too uch stress... it was terrible...
bt i guess i am ok now... i feel like bleh still but oh well i plan on going back to the doctor, my mom wants to get my meds uped...
oh joy marco just got a job, and i didnt...
shit now hes mad at me cas i didnt want him to pop my neck... fucking figures... why cant shit be easy for once... just once...
-kitty-
i hope marco doesnt read this he wouldnt understand... hopefully the visit wih andres goes well... i miss his humor... im begining to think marco was right that we shouldnt be together... but i think hes falling back in love with me...
monday night... serious nervous breakdown... nothing has happend like it before... i washonestly scared... i think its all the stress of my family being evicted, and living with marco, trying to get a job, get along with marco, trying to graduate, and everything... well anyways, it started with me sleeping a lot that day, then i fell asleep right beforebed time, every five minutes i would wake up scared... i wasnt scared of anything... but i would jump... well me and marco had gotten into a fight before because i had cut for the first time in like 8 months... but i finally got up and marco made the bed... the whole thing with me waking up off and on kept gettting worse... well after a few minutes i couldnt breathand i was hyper ventilating... so marco got his sister... they were going to take me to the hospital but she told him to fill to fill up the bath tub with hot water first and put me in it.. well i was ok at first starting to breath then i started shaking really bad, and everything got to loud, the water running, marco trying to keep me awake cas i started blacking out and like it was all too much, i cried for about and hour, i wanted to scream realy loud and when i wascrying i was shreaking trying not to scream, everything started to hurt then tingle, and i couldnt move my body at all especially my left arm... it scared me... marco thought i was possesed, then he said it was my body shutting down because of too uch stress... it was terrible...
bt i guess i am ok now... i feel like bleh still but oh well i plan on going back to the doctor, my mom wants to get my meds uped...
oh joy marco just got a job, and i didnt...
shit now hes mad at me cas i didnt want him to pop my neck... fucking figures... why cant shit be easy for once... just once...
-kitty-