I am
finally starting to feel better. I still have a pretty bad cough, but I am going out tonight. I haven't been able to go out all spring break. I saw my choir teacher from high school today. It wasn't as bad as i thought it might be. Still, I'm positive he has some comments about me...but whatever. I got into the acting for the camera class for this fall so I should have a pretty busy semester in the fall...which is good. The busier the better. I'm not really sad anymore...I mean I miss things, but I have a different outlook this time around. I always wondered how things were going to play out later b/c I knew the circumstances. I didn't really imagine things turning out like this, but that's okay. I haven't cried since monday night. I really do want him to be happy and successful. I know he wants the same for me. I think it isn't as hard this time b/c I haven't seen him in six weeks. I still remember pretty much everything, but I want to be his friend. I didn't think I would but i do. I don't want to jump into another relationship though...I'm gonna try and focus on the things I need to get done. I want to be independent. I got to hang out with Lisa and Justin today and I realized how much I miss the kind of fun we would always have together. So I'm not going to be mad, sad, or resentful for this. I refuse to be that way. I am the only one that can make my life better and i need to start doing that. So that's what I'm gonna do.