Angry Pathetic Rant
I swear to God, my mother and sister are just trying to make this week as fucking terrible as possible.
In the past two days, they've ganged up on me more times than I can fucking count. And then, when I started to freak out, they tell me to call down and that I'm being a drama queen or that I should just leave because they were talking and that I don't even need to use the room. Ok, um, when I'm pressed into a corner, the first thing I'm going to do is lash out and start freaking. And Tabitha does the exact same thing so she REALLY can't call me a drama queen. And the whole leaving the room thing is such bullshit. They usually talk in the kitchen. Where do I spend most of my time (besides my room. lol.)? The kitchen, making myself food. So they should go fucking a new fucking room to conspire and just whisper and giggle. I feel like it's like 5th grade again except it's not just my friends, it's my fucking family.
And my mom's kind of mad at me because I have plans all this week and I probably won't have time to do most of the things she asked me to. So fucking what? This is the first weekend in a while that I've actually gone out and socialized. Just be fucking happy that I'm going out with people and not being some stupid little emo bitch and cutting myself in my room and crying. (Well, already doing the crying part, but that's her fault.) And it's not like she's going to miss me during the week. She went shopping yesterday. I wasn't invited even though I really need to get a lot of stuff. And they said that it was going to be just a quick trip, they'd be home in a couple hours. I was home alone all day. When I left to go see The Prestige (which was REALLY good, btw), they were still gone. And when I came home, no one was home still. I knew Tabs wasn't going to be home because she was at some stupid party. But my parents. No where to be found. So I started to freak out. Tabs got home a couple hours later. THEN, she told me that the parents were out seeing a movie and that I should have known that because they were talking about it all day. Um, they weren't speaking to me at all all day. And then, my mom calls like 30 minutes later and is like 'Did Tabs get home ok?' Of course, not worrying about me. I was tempted to stay out late, but rushed home because I figured I could watch a movie with my family. Nope. And when I ask her what movie she saw, she was 'We saw Superman. I told you that like 10 times today' You really didn't. So, at this point, I was like, how many years in prison is manslaughter? I told her that she hadn't told me. Nor had she barely spoken to me today. And she goes 'Well, you must have been ignoring me again, like usual.' I don't usually ignore my mother intentionally (only my sister.) So, unless she told me when I was trying to concentrate on something, I think I would have caught it. So I'm just so angry that I decide to talk to my dad about movies and it calms me down a lot. And then I watch The Prisoner. And fall asleep like 10 minutes into it. Wake up at like 2 with all the lights off. Thanks for waking me up, guys. Not. Crawl into bed exhausted and disgruntled.
Then, I wake up sore, but happy. And then, I move and smack right into the wall. Which made me laugh really hard. I was the first one up. Sam was being a snot to me and nearly tripped me down the stairs as I was trying to let me out. So far today, Jackie's been the only one to show me any sort of love. I eat breakfast which was yummy. Watch some tv. I was really enjoying the I love Lucy episode when my mom comes in and is like 'Oh Lucy!! God, she's so cute!! I love her!!' The fuck? Thank you for shouting over whatever Ethel said. Now, I had no idea how they were going to make Ricky feel like he was back in Cuba again. So, she comes in shouting annoyingly. And then, she just harps on my ass about this Christmas movie list that she wants. (Every year, I usually give them just a big list of movies I want. I figure it's easier that way and you can pick from like 60 movies. That way I don't really know what I'm getting. A nice surprise for me. But no, this year, she made me narrow it down to 35. One, narrowing down movies is like one of the hardest tasks for me ever. And two, when would I have time for it? during my school and doing homework time? yeah, definitely.) So she asks me 'Have you finished it yet?' So I ask her 'No, I haven't had the time really do it because it envolves a lot of concentration and I've been busy this week doing my homework, like you've told me to.' 'Well, you could do it right now. It doesn't look like you're doing anything.' (At this point, I had put The Prisoner on.) I point to the TV. And she kind of just glares at me, so I just go off to my room and start doing it. An hour later, I'm finished. And I am SO not happy with it. I just put a whole bunch of shit that I've said that I was going to buy, but either forgot about it or just haven't had the money. But I know that a lot of the movies that I really want aren't on there (I just don't remember them.) So, I head downstairs to give her the papers, happy that I'm done and that I can finally start watching more Prisoner. Oh, but, no. She's watching the Break Up. (I really wanted to watch it yesterday, but she said I couldn't because she wanted to watch it first. I respected that because I like doing that with a lot of my movies, too.) Yeah, it's just her and Tabitha sitting all cozy downstairs, watching the Break Up. So my immediate reaction was 'wtf!? you couldn't have asked me if i wanted to watch it!?' 'well, yeah. you don't even like watching movies with me!' 'uh, yes, i do. i love watching movie with you. and how the hell are you going to tell me what i do and don't like?!' 'oh, it doesn't matter anyway. you were watching the prisoner.' 'no, i fucking wasn't. i was doing you're goddamn list. wtf do you want me to do with it?' 'can i have it?' so, i throw it at her, and throw tabitha a dirty look because she's just been sitting there, giggling at me. After the papers were given, I just kind of go off to the kitchen, looking for something to stuff my face with to make myself feel better (i'm healing with food, damnit, so shut you face.) I find nothing that I want to eat, plus I hear them whispering and giggling again about me, so my anger just rise to almost blind fury. And I have to use everything I can just not to punch one of them or break anything, so I just sort of float/stomp back up to my room. Which leads me to here.
I don't know what it is that is making me get so angry about them. I'm not PMSing. I know they are. It's just my temper is so...livid? Is that the right word? I can barely control it these days. I feel like the Hulk. You really don't want to make me angry. Or, I will grow three feet taller and green and throw your ass across the room. It's just been like anytime when I'm home, I've just been really angry.
When I'm not at home (nor at school), it's the other way around. I'm always laughing, just having fun. Like last night, way too much fun. Lol. And I'm hoping that this afternoon with Chance will be awesome.
Plus, Dr. Who and Battlestar Galactica will be on. AND the Scrubs with Colin Farrell is on. And I guess, I'm not hanging out with Nutter tomorrow. But I'll probably go to Drew's thing. Maybe. And I have no idea when I'm going to write my speech. I think I might fail English this year. She gives too many fucking assignments, I can barely keep up. I can only pump out bullshit for so long.
I've decided that if I was a guy, no one could stop me from growing either a Tom Selleck moustache or the handlebar moushache that Colin Farrell had in Miami Vice. No, fuck both of those. I'd go straight up Eugene Hutz. Ah, that delicious crazy gypsy.
In the past two days, they've ganged up on me more times than I can fucking count. And then, when I started to freak out, they tell me to call down and that I'm being a drama queen or that I should just leave because they were talking and that I don't even need to use the room. Ok, um, when I'm pressed into a corner, the first thing I'm going to do is lash out and start freaking. And Tabitha does the exact same thing so she REALLY can't call me a drama queen. And the whole leaving the room thing is such bullshit. They usually talk in the kitchen. Where do I spend most of my time (besides my room. lol.)? The kitchen, making myself food. So they should go fucking a new fucking room to conspire and just whisper and giggle. I feel like it's like 5th grade again except it's not just my friends, it's my fucking family.
And my mom's kind of mad at me because I have plans all this week and I probably won't have time to do most of the things she asked me to. So fucking what? This is the first weekend in a while that I've actually gone out and socialized. Just be fucking happy that I'm going out with people and not being some stupid little emo bitch and cutting myself in my room and crying. (Well, already doing the crying part, but that's her fault.) And it's not like she's going to miss me during the week. She went shopping yesterday. I wasn't invited even though I really need to get a lot of stuff. And they said that it was going to be just a quick trip, they'd be home in a couple hours. I was home alone all day. When I left to go see The Prestige (which was REALLY good, btw), they were still gone. And when I came home, no one was home still. I knew Tabs wasn't going to be home because she was at some stupid party. But my parents. No where to be found. So I started to freak out. Tabs got home a couple hours later. THEN, she told me that the parents were out seeing a movie and that I should have known that because they were talking about it all day. Um, they weren't speaking to me at all all day. And then, my mom calls like 30 minutes later and is like 'Did Tabs get home ok?' Of course, not worrying about me. I was tempted to stay out late, but rushed home because I figured I could watch a movie with my family. Nope. And when I ask her what movie she saw, she was 'We saw Superman. I told you that like 10 times today' You really didn't. So, at this point, I was like, how many years in prison is manslaughter? I told her that she hadn't told me. Nor had she barely spoken to me today. And she goes 'Well, you must have been ignoring me again, like usual.' I don't usually ignore my mother intentionally (only my sister.) So, unless she told me when I was trying to concentrate on something, I think I would have caught it. So I'm just so angry that I decide to talk to my dad about movies and it calms me down a lot. And then I watch The Prisoner. And fall asleep like 10 minutes into it. Wake up at like 2 with all the lights off. Thanks for waking me up, guys. Not. Crawl into bed exhausted and disgruntled.
Then, I wake up sore, but happy. And then, I move and smack right into the wall. Which made me laugh really hard. I was the first one up. Sam was being a snot to me and nearly tripped me down the stairs as I was trying to let me out. So far today, Jackie's been the only one to show me any sort of love. I eat breakfast which was yummy. Watch some tv. I was really enjoying the I love Lucy episode when my mom comes in and is like 'Oh Lucy!! God, she's so cute!! I love her!!' The fuck? Thank you for shouting over whatever Ethel said. Now, I had no idea how they were going to make Ricky feel like he was back in Cuba again. So, she comes in shouting annoyingly. And then, she just harps on my ass about this Christmas movie list that she wants. (Every year, I usually give them just a big list of movies I want. I figure it's easier that way and you can pick from like 60 movies. That way I don't really know what I'm getting. A nice surprise for me. But no, this year, she made me narrow it down to 35. One, narrowing down movies is like one of the hardest tasks for me ever. And two, when would I have time for it? during my school and doing homework time? yeah, definitely.) So she asks me 'Have you finished it yet?' So I ask her 'No, I haven't had the time really do it because it envolves a lot of concentration and I've been busy this week doing my homework, like you've told me to.' 'Well, you could do it right now. It doesn't look like you're doing anything.' (At this point, I had put The Prisoner on.) I point to the TV. And she kind of just glares at me, so I just go off to my room and start doing it. An hour later, I'm finished. And I am SO not happy with it. I just put a whole bunch of shit that I've said that I was going to buy, but either forgot about it or just haven't had the money. But I know that a lot of the movies that I really want aren't on there (I just don't remember them.) So, I head downstairs to give her the papers, happy that I'm done and that I can finally start watching more Prisoner. Oh, but, no. She's watching the Break Up. (I really wanted to watch it yesterday, but she said I couldn't because she wanted to watch it first. I respected that because I like doing that with a lot of my movies, too.) Yeah, it's just her and Tabitha sitting all cozy downstairs, watching the Break Up. So my immediate reaction was 'wtf!? you couldn't have asked me if i wanted to watch it!?' 'well, yeah. you don't even like watching movies with me!' 'uh, yes, i do. i love watching movie with you. and how the hell are you going to tell me what i do and don't like?!' 'oh, it doesn't matter anyway. you were watching the prisoner.' 'no, i fucking wasn't. i was doing you're goddamn list. wtf do you want me to do with it?' 'can i have it?' so, i throw it at her, and throw tabitha a dirty look because she's just been sitting there, giggling at me. After the papers were given, I just kind of go off to the kitchen, looking for something to stuff my face with to make myself feel better (i'm healing with food, damnit, so shut you face.) I find nothing that I want to eat, plus I hear them whispering and giggling again about me, so my anger just rise to almost blind fury. And I have to use everything I can just not to punch one of them or break anything, so I just sort of float/stomp back up to my room. Which leads me to here.
I don't know what it is that is making me get so angry about them. I'm not PMSing. I know they are. It's just my temper is so...livid? Is that the right word? I can barely control it these days. I feel like the Hulk. You really don't want to make me angry. Or, I will grow three feet taller and green and throw your ass across the room. It's just been like anytime when I'm home, I've just been really angry.
When I'm not at home (nor at school), it's the other way around. I'm always laughing, just having fun. Like last night, way too much fun. Lol. And I'm hoping that this afternoon with Chance will be awesome.
Plus, Dr. Who and Battlestar Galactica will be on. AND the Scrubs with Colin Farrell is on. And I guess, I'm not hanging out with Nutter tomorrow. But I'll probably go to Drew's thing. Maybe. And I have no idea when I'm going to write my speech. I think I might fail English this year. She gives too many fucking assignments, I can barely keep up. I can only pump out bullshit for so long.
I've decided that if I was a guy, no one could stop me from growing either a Tom Selleck moustache or the handlebar moushache that Colin Farrell had in Miami Vice. No, fuck both of those. I'd go straight up Eugene Hutz. Ah, that delicious crazy gypsy.