What A Woman/Man Really Means?
What a woman says, what she really means…
I need = I want
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure…go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!;P
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You'’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'’m not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper…
I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'’m beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you'’re dead
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You’ll be sorry
I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
Do you like this recipe? = It’’s easy to fix, so you'’d better get used to it
Was that the baby? = Why don'’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
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And… Translations for men
These translations are for all of us wonderful women out there, so that you will know what they really mean when they say…
“IT'’S A GUY THING”
Translated: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”
Translated: “Why isn'’t it already on the table?”
“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR”
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’’s a conditioned response.
“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”
Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”
“THAT'’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”
Translated: “Are you still talking?”:))
“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
Translated: “I remember the theme song to ‘’F Troop,'’ the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I'’ve ever owned… but I forgot your birthday.”
“HEY, I'’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'’M DOING.”
Translated: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”
“I CAN'’T FIND IT.”
Translated: “It didn'’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I'’m completely clueless.”
“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
Translated: “What did you catch me at?”
“WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.”
Translated: “I make the messes; she cleans them up.”
I need = I want
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure…go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!;P
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You'’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'’m not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper…
I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'’m beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you'’re dead
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You’ll be sorry
I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
Do you like this recipe? = It’’s easy to fix, so you'’d better get used to it
Was that the baby? = Why don'’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
*******
*******
And… Translations for men
These translations are for all of us wonderful women out there, so that you will know what they really mean when they say…
“IT'’S A GUY THING”
Translated: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”
Translated: “Why isn'’t it already on the table?”
“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR”
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’’s a conditioned response.
“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”
Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”
“THAT'’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”
Translated: “Are you still talking?”:))
“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
Translated: “I remember the theme song to ‘’F Troop,'’ the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I'’ve ever owned… but I forgot your birthday.”
“HEY, I'’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'’M DOING.”
Translated: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”
“I CAN'’T FIND IT.”
Translated: “It didn'’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I'’m completely clueless.”
“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
Translated: “What did you catch me at?”
“WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.”
Translated: “I make the messes; she cleans them up.”