I need you. Did you know?
GreatestJournal won't let me post new entries tonight.
I'm out of sorts. I need something akin to a good, childish fit. I've much misplaced frustration, and I want to protest about it all.
It's never enough, for one. No matter what, I am always coming short; there's another issue, a small favor, a giant explosion. I'm feeling the toll.
I have learned it is absolutely ridiculous to ask for help. I used to wonder if perhaps it is because I am far too needy, but I am beginning to doubt the blame I placed on myself. And when it comes from my own family...
The bottom line is I am feeling extremely ignored. I feel heavy, and unwanted. I'm just Biss, the one that saves the day one moment, and is cast aside the next. I feel so very alone. I'm sad, because I feel safe with you...and I desperately need reassurance right now, but I find it so very hard to ask for it.
I'm asking for attention, for help and for love. Pride aside, I know I can't do this myself, and I'm starting to feel the wear and tear on my spirit. It's a very bad time because all I see is at least 30 more days of trudging through ungrateful sludge, and uselessly attempting to ignore any of it. Suddenly I find all of this shit impossible to pretend it doesn't exist for very long.
I'm out of sorts. I need something akin to a good, childish fit. I've much misplaced frustration, and I want to protest about it all.
It's never enough, for one. No matter what, I am always coming short; there's another issue, a small favor, a giant explosion. I'm feeling the toll.
I have learned it is absolutely ridiculous to ask for help. I used to wonder if perhaps it is because I am far too needy, but I am beginning to doubt the blame I placed on myself. And when it comes from my own family...
The bottom line is I am feeling extremely ignored. I feel heavy, and unwanted. I'm just Biss, the one that saves the day one moment, and is cast aside the next. I feel so very alone. I'm sad, because I feel safe with you...and I desperately need reassurance right now, but I find it so very hard to ask for it.
I'm asking for attention, for help and for love. Pride aside, I know I can't do this myself, and I'm starting to feel the wear and tear on my spirit. It's a very bad time because all I see is at least 30 more days of trudging through ungrateful sludge, and uselessly attempting to ignore any of it. Suddenly I find all of this shit impossible to pretend it doesn't exist for very long.