You know...nevermind.
I wish people were more honest. I'd rather understand how things are than be pacified with something to be easily pacified. I don't want to hear, "I like you and there's something about you..." if I'm just some passing attraction, I don't want to hear, "I love you and as your brother I'll do anything for you" if you don't give a shit, and I don't want to hear, "You're my best friend" if that's only possible when it's convenient for you.
I don't want their bullshit. The lies come out, and I'll be able to tell if you're shitting me sooner or later anyway. So on top of all the "being upset" I'll be, I'll be even more upset that you lied to me.
It's like...putting a big FUCK YOU sticker on my forehead. You are saying that I am not good enough for the truth, that I am not something you respect enough to give me the truth. It's like saying I am too fucking weak or too fucking useless for that one thing.
I'm angry.
I can count on my one hand the people that haven't fed me bullshit lately. As grateful, and glad for, as I am for that...because...I truly am...
Fuck. heh, at least that has power to toss up my rant. It's very good.
I guess I'm just saying...I'm tired of the bullshit. It's the bullshit that is breaking my heart. The reality is what it is, so I'll come to terms with that someday. But it's all the fucking lies that'll take the longest for me to deal with.
I feel drained. repulsive. unloved. used. and all that fun junk.
But...we're gonna try and ignore that one.
I don't want their bullshit. The lies come out, and I'll be able to tell if you're shitting me sooner or later anyway. So on top of all the "being upset" I'll be, I'll be even more upset that you lied to me.
It's like...putting a big FUCK YOU sticker on my forehead. You are saying that I am not good enough for the truth, that I am not something you respect enough to give me the truth. It's like saying I am too fucking weak or too fucking useless for that one thing.
I'm angry.
I can count on my one hand the people that haven't fed me bullshit lately. As grateful, and glad for, as I am for that...because...I truly am...
Fuck. heh, at least that has power to toss up my rant. It's very good.
I guess I'm just saying...I'm tired of the bullshit. It's the bullshit that is breaking my heart. The reality is what it is, so I'll come to terms with that someday. But it's all the fucking lies that'll take the longest for me to deal with.
I feel drained. repulsive. unloved. used. and all that fun junk.
But...we're gonna try and ignore that one.