....
Okay. Hi. *waves*
I am alive. I don't know how or why, but it seems to be a persistant state, so I'm not going to question it. I could get into my total utter nervous breakdown where I could hardly breath and my hands were kind of shaking and I didn't sleep or eat, hardly did my school work and pasted a big fat fucking smile on my face so no one would know that my mind was exploding and my heart was a mushy pile of gore at the bottom of my stomach. But I don't want to because it was crazy shit and also kind of terrifying and I really don't want to relive the details of the week and a half of hell (but hey, lost about 10 pounds. Not validating nervous breakdowns, just saying).
My point is that I have been utterly corrupted and I wish to blame Katie.
Now this will take some explaining.
Katie pointed me to fangganglite. This fun light comic has been my downfall. I shall continue in my explaining. Now, I won't go around saying I'm the queen of slash, because I'm not. I can't write it worth shit. I wish to God I could, but must live vicariously through those who can. But I read a freaking lot of slash. I read slash almost exclusively. I have a slash ship for all of my major fandoms and usually more than one. But then to defend myself, every major ship I support only came about after reading an extremely well written story that blew my mind and that I could trace back to actual cannon things. All I'm saying is that I don't go looking for a slash pair in everything like some do, but I take them as they come to me while watching or revealed to me by reading a mind-blowing fic. Point in fact, my lack of a slash pairing for Firefly/Serenity. Though if I'm missing out on something, drop me a line. Always open to slash.
I'm losing track of myself. So. Fang Gang Lite. Cute funny Angel comic that has Angel and Wes flirting and being in love and being stupid about it and all that jazz. And despite my slash inclined mind, it never occured to me. Maybe because Angel is a secondary fandom (or was, but that's for a bit later) or because (looking back) I am blind, deaf and all brain dead. So. I watched Angel the next day. It was a Season 4 ep where Angel didn't have his soul (It may have been Souless, but I don't know, I'm not all that good at Angel episode names, so just bite me). And Angelus was baiting Fred by observing how sexy Wes was. For one, I agreed. Wes is sexy which is part of how this whole thing started. For two, it added to the curiousity in my head about this ship that I somehow completly missed. And I had to know more.
So I searched out for fic. Went to a trusted author who writes some Buffy slash that I am extremely fond of so much that I almost want to build her a temple mireille719. And it began. I was caputred. Threw all my other Angel ships out the window (yes, even Wes/Fred, strangely, for it being my sole reason for living on occasion). Became obsessive. And I still am, just to let you know.
This is all relevent I swear. In my nervous breakdown week, the only thing that didn't make me shake or worry or feel crazy was reading fanfiction. I know its weird. Bear with me. So I devoured so much Angel/Wes that I believe I have read several novels. And strangely, I still love it. Usually after reading that much my mind get tired and needs a new pairing. A similar thing happened with my Remus/Sirius ship, that I still adore and believe should be cannon blah-de-blah, but I can't read fic anymore. At least for a long while. But I'm still on board with my Angel/Wes obsession. Yes, it has reached obsession.
So Katie, this is all to say I blame you for putting slashy thoughts into my head about one of the two shows I didn't have some for already and for making me a Angel/Wes fanatic that I can't watch an episode of Angel without drawing some 'subtext' out of (I know I have to be creating a good deal of it, because it can't be that slashy, can it? If so, how did I miss it? I must be really dumb). But I also love you for somehow saving me from becoming a complete and utter basket case on my forray into the mythical land of nervous breakdown.
So thanks. And stuff.
~Tarasita
P.S. thebratqueen is my goddess. Seriously. Vist her site. Read Epiphany, read Protocol (its so AU, but so delicious), read everything because it's amazing). Her characterization is wonderful. Witness. Some of my favorite quotes from Epiphany. Oh and the one at the end is from a stand alone, but I don't remember what it was called, but The Brat Queen is still my goddess.
"You've all the self-preservation instincts of an especially suicidal lemming. No offense." Wes, Epiphany
"Wes kept talking. 'When I am seventy years old and writing my memoirs I will dedicate an entire volume to the fact that your continued existence proves the theory that fortune favors the stupid and the brave.'
'I would be both, right?' Angel asked.
'And when the time comes that I am no longer on this earth,' Wes continued, 'I will have a gravestone which declares 'Here Lies Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, His Lover Was An Ass'."
And A Few Lines Later...
" 'The sun rises and I'm a sitting duck. So unless you want your - whatever - gravestone to read 'Here Lies Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, His Lover Fit Into An Ashtray' I'm thinking we need a hotel.'" -Angel
And Finally:
"'Yes,' Wesley said. He took another drink. 'I, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, am going to wallow. I shall lay here in my abject misery and reflect upon the shoddy hand Fate has seen fit to deal me on this dismal evening. I shall call upon the tradition of Wyndam-Pryces everywhere who, when the chips were down, sat right down with them and declared 'Oh bugger it all, life's too hard'.'"
I'm selling her my soul or something.
I am alive. I don't know how or why, but it seems to be a persistant state, so I'm not going to question it. I could get into my total utter nervous breakdown where I could hardly breath and my hands were kind of shaking and I didn't sleep or eat, hardly did my school work and pasted a big fat fucking smile on my face so no one would know that my mind was exploding and my heart was a mushy pile of gore at the bottom of my stomach. But I don't want to because it was crazy shit and also kind of terrifying and I really don't want to relive the details of the week and a half of hell (but hey, lost about 10 pounds. Not validating nervous breakdowns, just saying).
My point is that I have been utterly corrupted and I wish to blame Katie.
Now this will take some explaining.
Katie pointed me to fangganglite. This fun light comic has been my downfall. I shall continue in my explaining. Now, I won't go around saying I'm the queen of slash, because I'm not. I can't write it worth shit. I wish to God I could, but must live vicariously through those who can. But I read a freaking lot of slash. I read slash almost exclusively. I have a slash ship for all of my major fandoms and usually more than one. But then to defend myself, every major ship I support only came about after reading an extremely well written story that blew my mind and that I could trace back to actual cannon things. All I'm saying is that I don't go looking for a slash pair in everything like some do, but I take them as they come to me while watching or revealed to me by reading a mind-blowing fic. Point in fact, my lack of a slash pairing for Firefly/Serenity. Though if I'm missing out on something, drop me a line. Always open to slash.
I'm losing track of myself. So. Fang Gang Lite. Cute funny Angel comic that has Angel and Wes flirting and being in love and being stupid about it and all that jazz. And despite my slash inclined mind, it never occured to me. Maybe because Angel is a secondary fandom (or was, but that's for a bit later) or because (looking back) I am blind, deaf and all brain dead. So. I watched Angel the next day. It was a Season 4 ep where Angel didn't have his soul (It may have been Souless, but I don't know, I'm not all that good at Angel episode names, so just bite me). And Angelus was baiting Fred by observing how sexy Wes was. For one, I agreed. Wes is sexy which is part of how this whole thing started. For two, it added to the curiousity in my head about this ship that I somehow completly missed. And I had to know more.
So I searched out for fic. Went to a trusted author who writes some Buffy slash that I am extremely fond of so much that I almost want to build her a temple mireille719. And it began. I was caputred. Threw all my other Angel ships out the window (yes, even Wes/Fred, strangely, for it being my sole reason for living on occasion). Became obsessive. And I still am, just to let you know.
This is all relevent I swear. In my nervous breakdown week, the only thing that didn't make me shake or worry or feel crazy was reading fanfiction. I know its weird. Bear with me. So I devoured so much Angel/Wes that I believe I have read several novels. And strangely, I still love it. Usually after reading that much my mind get tired and needs a new pairing. A similar thing happened with my Remus/Sirius ship, that I still adore and believe should be cannon blah-de-blah, but I can't read fic anymore. At least for a long while. But I'm still on board with my Angel/Wes obsession. Yes, it has reached obsession.
So Katie, this is all to say I blame you for putting slashy thoughts into my head about one of the two shows I didn't have some for already and for making me a Angel/Wes fanatic that I can't watch an episode of Angel without drawing some 'subtext' out of (I know I have to be creating a good deal of it, because it can't be that slashy, can it? If so, how did I miss it? I must be really dumb). But I also love you for somehow saving me from becoming a complete and utter basket case on my forray into the mythical land of nervous breakdown.
So thanks. And stuff.
~Tarasita
P.S. thebratqueen is my goddess. Seriously. Vist her site. Read Epiphany, read Protocol (its so AU, but so delicious), read everything because it's amazing). Her characterization is wonderful. Witness. Some of my favorite quotes from Epiphany. Oh and the one at the end is from a stand alone, but I don't remember what it was called, but The Brat Queen is still my goddess.
"You've all the self-preservation instincts of an especially suicidal lemming. No offense." Wes, Epiphany
"Wes kept talking. 'When I am seventy years old and writing my memoirs I will dedicate an entire volume to the fact that your continued existence proves the theory that fortune favors the stupid and the brave.'
'I would be both, right?' Angel asked.
'And when the time comes that I am no longer on this earth,' Wes continued, 'I will have a gravestone which declares 'Here Lies Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, His Lover Was An Ass'."
And A Few Lines Later...
" 'The sun rises and I'm a sitting duck. So unless you want your - whatever - gravestone to read 'Here Lies Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, His Lover Fit Into An Ashtray' I'm thinking we need a hotel.'" -Angel
And Finally:
"'Yes,' Wesley said. He took another drink. 'I, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, am going to wallow. I shall lay here in my abject misery and reflect upon the shoddy hand Fate has seen fit to deal me on this dismal evening. I shall call upon the tradition of Wyndam-Pryces everywhere who, when the chips were down, sat right down with them and declared 'Oh bugger it all, life's too hard'.'"
I'm selling her my soul or something.