How do you describe...
How do you describe the feeling you have when the man you love is in the next room, lying on the floor, being the best patient ever for his daughter, the 4 year old doctor? Move over, Doogie Howser! The laughter is infectious (no pun intended). And then I hear his invitation to do her makeup so she can surprise me as so pretty. She is a beautiful little girl. Pink puffy cheeks and straight ash brown hair and her daddy's eyes. She's round and soft, but tough and ready to rumble. She flexes her little biceps and kisses each one after proclaiming "I'm strong!". Yes, she is. I am always impressed by their relationship. I am so grateful to have found myself in this family. We are going to the zoo Saturday, Dennis and Zia and I, with his parents and we are meeting my parents for lunch afterward. I am so nervous; not that they will hate each other, it's just that I have such high hopes, which I am aware are not the same as my expectations.
Zia and I watched "The Phantom of the Opera" today. It was toward the end (the scariest part) when they got home and she finished it with me and was so interested (it seems so grown-up) that we started it over again. Geez, it's a long movie! And so many questions, she had! I hope it was a good break for Dennis, though. He snored, I mean slept like a baby, through the whole thing! After discussing why they sang so much and how she liked all the pretty voices, Zia said, "Dad, your snores are like music!". Ha! I laughed so hard!
I had an interview today. Good job, good money. So strict and uncomfortable. No fun hair, no facial piercings, no visible tattoos. Pooh. I certainly will jump at the opportunity, but let's just say I won't shed a tear if I don't get it. I did take a position though, that should definitely be more fun. I just hate the idea of working when I could be with Dennis instead. Oh well. Gotta work. I'm holding out for the hotel. I think it will be right up my alley, especially while I am in school. (*Midway*)
So is it finally over, you ask? I think so. I hope so. I can't imagine why not. Well, I can, but I really don't know if that would happen. Is the universe that crazy? I am beginning to believe it is. Perceptions seem so skewed these days. I think the term "common sense" is not longer valid. "Common" has become a relative term. I keep saying that. It must be my subliminal way of approving of all the things I don't agree with. Whatever works, right?
Who's reading this?
I miss my baby Makayla. She must be so big now. It has only been 8 months since I've seen her, but I've no idea how long it will be before I lay eyes on her, put my arms around her again. I miss my family. I miss Christina. I know she is going through a tougher time than anyone should have to deal with. I wish all the ways I tried to help had worked. I know I am my only responsibility, but I care so much for her. I hate deception. It is only lies that have brought us to where we are now. I only hope that others involved in this nasty ordeal that has gone on for over a year can find a path as light as mine, smooth and clean under a bright, beautiful sky. (Corny enough?)
Well, I realize that there is no way to make you understand how full my heart is, why my eyes are misty, why my lips keep curling up without my intention, how my fingers fly across the keyboard trying to tell you how happy and excited I am! Just trust me.
Zia and I watched "The Phantom of the Opera" today. It was toward the end (the scariest part) when they got home and she finished it with me and was so interested (it seems so grown-up) that we started it over again. Geez, it's a long movie! And so many questions, she had! I hope it was a good break for Dennis, though. He snored, I mean slept like a baby, through the whole thing! After discussing why they sang so much and how she liked all the pretty voices, Zia said, "Dad, your snores are like music!". Ha! I laughed so hard!
I had an interview today. Good job, good money. So strict and uncomfortable. No fun hair, no facial piercings, no visible tattoos. Pooh. I certainly will jump at the opportunity, but let's just say I won't shed a tear if I don't get it. I did take a position though, that should definitely be more fun. I just hate the idea of working when I could be with Dennis instead. Oh well. Gotta work. I'm holding out for the hotel. I think it will be right up my alley, especially while I am in school. (*Midway*)
So is it finally over, you ask? I think so. I hope so. I can't imagine why not. Well, I can, but I really don't know if that would happen. Is the universe that crazy? I am beginning to believe it is. Perceptions seem so skewed these days. I think the term "common sense" is not longer valid. "Common" has become a relative term. I keep saying that. It must be my subliminal way of approving of all the things I don't agree with. Whatever works, right?
Who's reading this?
I miss my baby Makayla. She must be so big now. It has only been 8 months since I've seen her, but I've no idea how long it will be before I lay eyes on her, put my arms around her again. I miss my family. I miss Christina. I know she is going through a tougher time than anyone should have to deal with. I wish all the ways I tried to help had worked. I know I am my only responsibility, but I care so much for her. I hate deception. It is only lies that have brought us to where we are now. I only hope that others involved in this nasty ordeal that has gone on for over a year can find a path as light as mine, smooth and clean under a bright, beautiful sky. (Corny enough?)
Well, I realize that there is no way to make you understand how full my heart is, why my eyes are misty, why my lips keep curling up without my intention, how my fingers fly across the keyboard trying to tell you how happy and excited I am! Just trust me.