I'm baaaack...
According to the little ticker on this thing I haven't written in entry in 24 whole weeks.. I should go back and see what was up then...
Anywho! I am back in my cursed home after having spent two-ish months at Amy's, 3ish weeks at Ratgirl's in the autumn, the whole winter in Maine, and another month recently at Ratgirl's. I'm becoming quite the gypsy! (And the sad thing about that is I feel I could do better wandering aimlessly...)
So what happened in these 24 weeks? Oh not much... I just lost a child I was babysitting when they stole the freakin' car, I went out of my ever lovin' mind in Maine, I attempted to start new fashion trends in NY with a duct tape corset and green hair, I more or less stopped talking to Amy (and certainly don't have her as any huge part of my life anymore) and by some miracle I have not yet been institutionalized.
So what's up now? Good question! I am in NH, have felt like shit for the past week and am adamant that this house is still cursed! I'm not saying I'm 100% and without attacks when I am elsewhere buuut here they're constant, intense, and suck the life out of me. I am so tired lately. I stay up for a few hours, go back to sleep, get up for a few hours, go back to sleep. I started walking every night during the bewitching hours but tonight I didn't manage to go far at all. I've had to cut my route from 3 miles to a quarter of a mile as my bastard stomach is KILLING me. I'm tired of this shit.
In any event I feel physically better in Maine but I desperately avoiding going back because mentally I do poorly in Maine. Very poorly. I live in a house everyone thinks is the town common, I have to deal with the spawn of Satan every weekend, I have to submit to being the source of all the town and church gossip, I am constantly being watched by extended family, I am forced to be someone I’m not because of all the aforementioned shit, and there is no one in the entire state smart enough to carry on a decent conversation. The most intelligent conversation I had up there all winter came from a chick who is fighting with her best friend to get her boyfriend back from her. Her best friend recently got married to the boy they're fighting over even though he's not even her baby's father. Did I mention he's a jobless drunk that can't even TALK? OK so that ought to be a great conversation! It was about her job... at a nursing home... where she had to send one of the old folk's to the ER because "He was shooting shit and puke from both ends so fast we couldn't keep him clean!"
You know the saddest thing about that conversation? I was actually HAPPY to have it! The area of Maine I was living in was soooo far below the poverty line that even Micky D's was laying people off. No jobs even though I was feeling well enough to have one. Also no car, no escape...
So here I am coming up with schemes to stay in NH. Thing is I can't find anywhere in the house to work! There are so many happy little art galleries and boutiques around here looking for local artists whose work they can sell. Hell, at a %30-70 profit I'd be making out far better then I ever would as a writer! I'm still trying to be a writer. How daft of me. Soon as I find a place to work (or it warms up enough to move the sewing machine out into the shed where there is room...) I will start sewing, sculpting, and creating to my heart's content. I don't see myself as an artist but whatever. I want to earn enough to get an apartment for 800 clams a month. Staying there for a month or two should improve my health enough to either get a more traditional job or increase the anti with my various entrepreneurial ploys.
Anyway future entries will probably be more amusing. Perhaps tomorrow I can speak about my little late night jaunts. I've made some amusing and a few horrible observations... GRIN. Off for now!
Anywho! I am back in my cursed home after having spent two-ish months at Amy's, 3ish weeks at Ratgirl's in the autumn, the whole winter in Maine, and another month recently at Ratgirl's. I'm becoming quite the gypsy! (And the sad thing about that is I feel I could do better wandering aimlessly...)
So what happened in these 24 weeks? Oh not much... I just lost a child I was babysitting when they stole the freakin' car, I went out of my ever lovin' mind in Maine, I attempted to start new fashion trends in NY with a duct tape corset and green hair, I more or less stopped talking to Amy (and certainly don't have her as any huge part of my life anymore) and by some miracle I have not yet been institutionalized.
So what's up now? Good question! I am in NH, have felt like shit for the past week and am adamant that this house is still cursed! I'm not saying I'm 100% and without attacks when I am elsewhere buuut here they're constant, intense, and suck the life out of me. I am so tired lately. I stay up for a few hours, go back to sleep, get up for a few hours, go back to sleep. I started walking every night during the bewitching hours but tonight I didn't manage to go far at all. I've had to cut my route from 3 miles to a quarter of a mile as my bastard stomach is KILLING me. I'm tired of this shit.
In any event I feel physically better in Maine but I desperately avoiding going back because mentally I do poorly in Maine. Very poorly. I live in a house everyone thinks is the town common, I have to deal with the spawn of Satan every weekend, I have to submit to being the source of all the town and church gossip, I am constantly being watched by extended family, I am forced to be someone I’m not because of all the aforementioned shit, and there is no one in the entire state smart enough to carry on a decent conversation. The most intelligent conversation I had up there all winter came from a chick who is fighting with her best friend to get her boyfriend back from her. Her best friend recently got married to the boy they're fighting over even though he's not even her baby's father. Did I mention he's a jobless drunk that can't even TALK? OK so that ought to be a great conversation! It was about her job... at a nursing home... where she had to send one of the old folk's to the ER because "He was shooting shit and puke from both ends so fast we couldn't keep him clean!"
You know the saddest thing about that conversation? I was actually HAPPY to have it! The area of Maine I was living in was soooo far below the poverty line that even Micky D's was laying people off. No jobs even though I was feeling well enough to have one. Also no car, no escape...
So here I am coming up with schemes to stay in NH. Thing is I can't find anywhere in the house to work! There are so many happy little art galleries and boutiques around here looking for local artists whose work they can sell. Hell, at a %30-70 profit I'd be making out far better then I ever would as a writer! I'm still trying to be a writer. How daft of me. Soon as I find a place to work (or it warms up enough to move the sewing machine out into the shed where there is room...) I will start sewing, sculpting, and creating to my heart's content. I don't see myself as an artist but whatever. I want to earn enough to get an apartment for 800 clams a month. Staying there for a month or two should improve my health enough to either get a more traditional job or increase the anti with my various entrepreneurial ploys.
Anyway future entries will probably be more amusing. Perhaps tomorrow I can speak about my little late night jaunts. I've made some amusing and a few horrible observations... GRIN. Off for now!