Comments | queenofheartsrp: More backdatings- 7/20ish [action/video]

notvitiligo in queenofheartsrp

More backdatings- 7/20ish [action/video]

Jul 29, 2011 10:44

[The recreation of the ruins is quickly becoming Jessica's go-to place for alone time and moping; it's fairly remote, nobody hangs out there, and it's closed in enough for privacy. Because when you are flopped on the stone floor drawing abstract doodles in your notebook, you really need to be able to focus and avoid interruptions ( Read more... )

*video, jessica boyette, *action, reno (final fantasy vii), nepeta leijon, *vine, zinc (original)

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urbanwonderland July 31 2011, 04:08:48 UTC

[Reeve's smile is one of commiseration.]

For such a physical paradise, it certainly has a way of seeming orchestrated to put one through mental hell.
Sorry you're being intruded upon, I've given up trying to control what this little miracle [She gestures towards the vine.] shows me.

But if you do want to talk, here I am.

notvitiligo August 1 2011, 14:19:06 UTC

Yeah... [She leans her head on her hand] I guess it's my own fault, but right now it feels like it's rubbing things in my face.

urbanwonderland August 3 2011, 16:34:53 UTC

Well, I'm not sure how having a feeling-- no matter what it is, could be your "fault". It's not as if you signed up for all this! But I know that whether you did or didn't is beside the point. It makes everything more difficult to handle, feeling so exposed.

notvitiligo August 3 2011, 16:40:13 UTC

It's my fault if I can't get over it, though. I mean, you can't just wallow in stupid stuff.

Doesn't help, either, having this whole place reminding me how much I suck.

urbanwonderland August 4 2011, 05:35:40 UTC

Well, you can. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't know when I say it's generally not that easy. There have been many times I wished I could turn my feelings on and off at will, like a tap-- but the ability continues to elude me. Stupid stuff overwhelms us all-- not that knowing that really helps in an y practical way.
[Reeve smiles wryly, thinking of herself at Jessica's age and even herself as she still is.[

notvitiligo August 4 2011, 14:27:03 UTC

[She hesitates, pulling her knees to her chest and avoiding Reeve's eyes.] I just can't... do anything right. I feel like I'm the least competent person here.

and

nevermind [She can't stir up the courage to admit the real problem.]

urbanwonderland August 18 2011, 20:40:21 UTC

[Reeve smiles. Oh, Jessica.

You are far from being the least competent person here-- in fact, if we had to do something like choose teams for a project I'd have you without hesitation. You demotivate yourself, Jessica, but you have good instincts and a talent for organization and improvisation.

Though I'm sure you weren't looking for a review! I'm speaking as a friend, of course, but a friend who is not bad at maintaining her objectivity.

Even about things that one really would rather nevermind about.

notvitiligo August 22 2011, 15:09:39 UTC

Well... thanks, I guess. Doesn't really feel like much in a place full of genius scientists and people with superpowers, though.

And it's kind of hard to have any motivation when everything you try is doomed to failure, y'know?

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