fifth bullet :: video

[headedforhope]

[It's been awhile since this girl showed her face on the Vine in a way that wasn't in a more private conversation with friends. Ever since her breakdown during the last incident, Mami's been scarce; she's had to do a lot of thinking, had to face a lot of painful truths, sorting things out in her head until she could come together again. It was the

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[orderlybento]

[Oh, it's been a while and she's been worried about Mami. Hikari's eyes shine and she looks relieved.]

Mami-san...! [She glances down, taking in what she said.] I kind of get what you're saying; about this being a second chance. [Even if she doesn't the people behind it that much.]

[headedforhope]

[Mami has the grace to look just a little sheepish. It wasn't very brave of her, going into hiding like that- but she needed the time alone, and things are better now. Not perfect, but enough.]

I can only speak for myself, so it's all right to disagree with me....but I'm glad that you can understand what I'm trying to say. It can be really easy to hate this place, and I know a lot of people here have every right to, but...I guess I'm trying to see it as an opportunity, now, instead. That's more productive, isn't it?

[orderlybento]

[Hikari gets a flash of seeing Mami breaking down over the Vine, and she chooses not to bring it up. Though remembering it gives her eyes a quiet sadness with a smile that matches them.]

... You're really strong, Mami-san.

[headedforhope]

[The comment catches her off-guard, and there's a considering pause. In her own way, Mami is strong- but it's a delicate thing, like a Jenga tower that will crash down if the right blocks are removed. And now she's aware of it like never before, all the gaps in her psyche that breed insecurity and instability.

Her voice is soft, but sincere.]

Thank you, but I'm really not. I'm a weak person, selfish and afraid. If I seem otherwise....it's because I have friends kind enough to lend me their strength until I can stand on my own without it being a lie. That's what I'm working toward, now.

[orderlybento]

[She's reminded of that one night, Hikari lying down and holding her limbs as stiff as she could while her friend, curled in a ball, talked of how she hated herself and cried. Nostalgia's mixed in with the other numerous emotions she's feeling right now.]

Then I'm glad you have friends who make you feel strong sometimes, and that you're working towards feeling good about yourself.

[headedforhope]

[Another pause, and Mami tilts her face away to gaze out into the scenery, as if studying something out of Hikari's line of sight.]

I've thought about giving up. Everything...has made me unbelievably tired.

[Her voice carries the quiet weight of deep, personal secrets.]

But doing so would make that same everything worth nothing at all. The people who believed in me, looked up to me, would have just wasted their trust and faith.

[orderlybento]

[Hikari didn't really know how to respond to this. And it takes her a while to. And it makes her miss her friends and family. And Suzuharu.]

... As little as this might mean, I can understand that, a little.

[headedforhope]

[That brings Mami's focus back to the other girl's face, her expression touched in a dimly surprised sort of way. It's the subtle, struggling hope to be understood.]

...no, it....means a lot, actually. [She seems to recover a little, swallowing.] I won't ask you to explain, if you don't wish to, but thank you all the same.

[orderlybento]

[She feels awkward.]

Yes, it's something I'd rather not talk about, but you're welcome. I don't want you to believe you're alone in your feelings.

[headedforhope]

That's kind of you. [...] I should apologize- I haven't been completely honest with you, sometimes, or as good of a friend in return.

[orderlybento]

Oh, it's fine Mami-san! You don't need to apologize for things like that.

... I mean, I'm never completely honest with you at times.

[headedforhope]

[For a moment she's at a loss, never having expected that, and then can't help but laugh softly.]

Ah, I see. I really have underestimated you, I guess.