Zippity Do Da!
Computer is broken again. It'll probably be a week or so of sporadic getting on here before it's fixed. Not that I update like I'm supposed to anyway. Heh.
Hm. Life remains life. I'm studying to take my RN boards November 9th or 10th. I'm hoping to pass and get back on at the hospital. They have a ton of RN openings and I've got four years experience nursing now, plus I've worked there before... So I shouldn't have too much trouble getting back there. I will pass this time, dammit.
Aaron keeps growing so big. He's really starting to 'talk' now that he discovered he can. And he's realized he can be really loud about it too. We bought him a new jungle gym thing and he loves it because it moves. He doesn't really grab toys just yet unless I put them in his hand, but he does hit at them.
He's such a smiley, happy boy. We really are lucky. The transition from sleeping in our bed to his bassinette happened really smoothly too. Sometimes we have to hold him with his little face pressed against the pocket of our shoulder to help him fall asleep, but once he's out and down, he usually stays that way for three hours at the least.
He loves sitting up and being outside. He gets really excited. And he laughs so much now. It's cute as hell.
Jim and I have been talking and in April or May we're getting married. We want a simple wedding with friends and family, perferably outside if the weather holds. He'll just wear a suit and I'll wear a simple dress. You guys would of course be invited (you all know who you are!), but I'll totally understand if no one can. I live far away from you all and it's expensive to travel.
I'm excited about it. Jim... I'm not so sure that he's excited, but most of him does want it. We've talked about it and I told him that he'd better be doing this because he wants to and not because I want to. Lately, since Aaron has been born I've really been thinking about it. Getting married, being a family with the same last name...
Jim just has this little voice that tells him that marriage is a mistake. From his childhood all he's seen is divorce (his mom was remarried tons of times), and then there was his nasty divorce. We've been together almost two years now and have a baby; he knows we're a forever thing. And he completely trusts me. I think that's part of why he said he would.
When I talked to him about it, it wasn't even to have an answer from him. I'd just been keeping it inside for the last few months because I thought it was a really touchy subject with him. It's not a touchy subject, just an iffy one. But he surprised me when he said he wanted to and that he'd be thinking about it too.
I'd be lying if I didn't say a tiny part of me is even afraid to get married. But he's the only one I've ever considered it with and he's the only one I've ever wanted to spend my life with. I trust him implicitly. I know he won't hurt me and I know he loves me.
It's strange though. Marriage, I mean. It's a piece of paper and rings if you strip it down to the bare bones. But if you get to the romance of it, it means connections and love. Saying you'll be with this one person forever and that you're committed for life. At least to me and to him.
I like the ring not for the jewelry (I don't wear any jewelry right now), but for the symbol it is. That is signifies us being together and shows everyone that I'm his. When we get married it's for us and the fact that I want people there is to share that with them.
He's bothered by having my family there because a lot of them have been bugging us for years about why we aren't married, when we'll get married, what the advantages are, yadda, yadda. But I think that by being bothered, he cares more than he thinks he does. For me, I don't care what anyone else thinks. The reason I'd have people there is like I said; to share.
Our marriage isn't to prove to them all that we're committed or to satisfy them by getting married. We were committed before and would be without marriage.
It's annoying that people think in order to be committed forever that you have to be married. If I tell people he's my 'boyfriend' they look at me like I'm crazy and then ask why we aren't married since we have a baby. It was starting to get to the point this past year where I was about to tell everyone it was none of their business instead of explaining our reasons.
The thing is, I've never been completely anti-marriage. It was him. But I've also never been 'ohmygodwemustgetmarried'. A part of me wants it, and a part of me doesn't. Lately, I've wanted it more. No matter how silly it sounds, marriage feels like the last step, the last committment. It feels like the thing that I want to do now.
If you'd asked me a year ago, I'd still have told you it didn't matter, mostly. And maybe now it matters more, but even if we called off the wedding I'd still be okay.
Goddamn I've rambled a lot about this.
Strange, all of us OOGANGers. So many of us are getting married or getting into or leaving long-term relationships. I can remember back when we all really weren't dating much and our focus was completely on writing. Funny how the older we get, the priorities change. Naturally and obviously they would, but still.
Sleep lately. I hardly get any of it. It's so hard to have both Jim and I working full time and me working night shift while trying to care for the baby. Mostly I do okay, but about by the third night of my four on I'm a zombie. Thank the energy drink gods for RedBull. I'd never make it otherwise.
I'm looking forward to the week I'm taking off to take the boards. I've got almost 32 hours of saved vacation time plus my normal two days off, so I'm going to use it now that I have something to use it for.
This last Thursday and Friday Jim and I went to Seaside while Aaron stayed with my mom. It was a nice little trip. We had fun, but slept poorly because the mattress at the hotel was hard. >.> It was almost like waking up to feed Aaron anyway.
We went to an aquarium and saw a nifty giant ocupus, and fed sea lions. They were so adorable with their fat bodies, big brown eyes, and whiskers.
Well, I've ran out of steam for now. I need to get caught up on reading my friend's list. And I can't stay on here for very long.
Later, all.
Hm. Life remains life. I'm studying to take my RN boards November 9th or 10th. I'm hoping to pass and get back on at the hospital. They have a ton of RN openings and I've got four years experience nursing now, plus I've worked there before... So I shouldn't have too much trouble getting back there. I will pass this time, dammit.
Aaron keeps growing so big. He's really starting to 'talk' now that he discovered he can. And he's realized he can be really loud about it too. We bought him a new jungle gym thing and he loves it because it moves. He doesn't really grab toys just yet unless I put them in his hand, but he does hit at them.
He's such a smiley, happy boy. We really are lucky. The transition from sleeping in our bed to his bassinette happened really smoothly too. Sometimes we have to hold him with his little face pressed against the pocket of our shoulder to help him fall asleep, but once he's out and down, he usually stays that way for three hours at the least.
He loves sitting up and being outside. He gets really excited. And he laughs so much now. It's cute as hell.
Jim and I have been talking and in April or May we're getting married. We want a simple wedding with friends and family, perferably outside if the weather holds. He'll just wear a suit and I'll wear a simple dress. You guys would of course be invited (you all know who you are!), but I'll totally understand if no one can. I live far away from you all and it's expensive to travel.
I'm excited about it. Jim... I'm not so sure that he's excited, but most of him does want it. We've talked about it and I told him that he'd better be doing this because he wants to and not because I want to. Lately, since Aaron has been born I've really been thinking about it. Getting married, being a family with the same last name...
Jim just has this little voice that tells him that marriage is a mistake. From his childhood all he's seen is divorce (his mom was remarried tons of times), and then there was his nasty divorce. We've been together almost two years now and have a baby; he knows we're a forever thing. And he completely trusts me. I think that's part of why he said he would.
When I talked to him about it, it wasn't even to have an answer from him. I'd just been keeping it inside for the last few months because I thought it was a really touchy subject with him. It's not a touchy subject, just an iffy one. But he surprised me when he said he wanted to and that he'd be thinking about it too.
I'd be lying if I didn't say a tiny part of me is even afraid to get married. But he's the only one I've ever considered it with and he's the only one I've ever wanted to spend my life with. I trust him implicitly. I know he won't hurt me and I know he loves me.
It's strange though. Marriage, I mean. It's a piece of paper and rings if you strip it down to the bare bones. But if you get to the romance of it, it means connections and love. Saying you'll be with this one person forever and that you're committed for life. At least to me and to him.
I like the ring not for the jewelry (I don't wear any jewelry right now), but for the symbol it is. That is signifies us being together and shows everyone that I'm his. When we get married it's for us and the fact that I want people there is to share that with them.
He's bothered by having my family there because a lot of them have been bugging us for years about why we aren't married, when we'll get married, what the advantages are, yadda, yadda. But I think that by being bothered, he cares more than he thinks he does. For me, I don't care what anyone else thinks. The reason I'd have people there is like I said; to share.
Our marriage isn't to prove to them all that we're committed or to satisfy them by getting married. We were committed before and would be without marriage.
It's annoying that people think in order to be committed forever that you have to be married. If I tell people he's my 'boyfriend' they look at me like I'm crazy and then ask why we aren't married since we have a baby. It was starting to get to the point this past year where I was about to tell everyone it was none of their business instead of explaining our reasons.
The thing is, I've never been completely anti-marriage. It was him. But I've also never been 'ohmygodwemustgetmarried'. A part of me wants it, and a part of me doesn't. Lately, I've wanted it more. No matter how silly it sounds, marriage feels like the last step, the last committment. It feels like the thing that I want to do now.
If you'd asked me a year ago, I'd still have told you it didn't matter, mostly. And maybe now it matters more, but even if we called off the wedding I'd still be okay.
Goddamn I've rambled a lot about this.
Strange, all of us OOGANGers. So many of us are getting married or getting into or leaving long-term relationships. I can remember back when we all really weren't dating much and our focus was completely on writing. Funny how the older we get, the priorities change. Naturally and obviously they would, but still.
Sleep lately. I hardly get any of it. It's so hard to have both Jim and I working full time and me working night shift while trying to care for the baby. Mostly I do okay, but about by the third night of my four on I'm a zombie. Thank the energy drink gods for RedBull. I'd never make it otherwise.
I'm looking forward to the week I'm taking off to take the boards. I've got almost 32 hours of saved vacation time plus my normal two days off, so I'm going to use it now that I have something to use it for.
This last Thursday and Friday Jim and I went to Seaside while Aaron stayed with my mom. It was a nice little trip. We had fun, but slept poorly because the mattress at the hotel was hard. >.> It was almost like waking up to feed Aaron anyway.
We went to an aquarium and saw a nifty giant ocupus, and fed sea lions. They were so adorable with their fat bodies, big brown eyes, and whiskers.
Well, I've ran out of steam for now. I need to get caught up on reading my friend's list. And I can't stay on here for very long.
Later, all.