'Cause love doesn't hurt so I know I'm not falling in love, I'm just falling to pieces
I feel like I've been really down on myself lately. I wish I could say what's wrong; I mean I have a great guy and a great set of parents. But for the past year, making friends has been like pulling teeth. At Mville, it's just impossible. A large majority of the girls are stuck up bitches who won't talk to you if you're not wearing the right pair of jeans or if you are in a relationship. When did we become such a superficial society? Why can't a normal girl (okay, maybe I'm a bit eccentric, but find me a history major who isn't) be friends with another normal girl. Walking into the cafeteria by myself is absolute Hell. I usually go to the pub on days like that because I don't want to feel the absolute humiliation of having to sit in the corner conversing with myself in my head or writing poetry. I can't break the label of "off-beat writer kid who wears more black eyeliner than God himself" that I got freshman year (let's just say I was a "window talker" my first semester). I hate it. Like I can be sociable and fun, but aparently my "intimidating" behavior worries girls who would be friends with an average girl.
These next three weeks are going to drive me insane, I promise that.
I just wish I understood what was wrong with me and what makes people naturally not like me. I watch people who people like and I watch people who people hate, then I evaluate my behavior based on that. If my scientific calculations are correct, I should be in the "likeable" bracket But I'm not. Because I'm an ugly, obnoxious mess that sucks at everything.