Here she stands alone again...
I'm sitting at my desk with a cup of VERY strong coffee and pondering on what I want to write about. I have World of Warcraft running in the background, trying to decide what I'd like to do in game while doing massive amounts of laundry.
I realize that I've had this journal since December of 2001 and for a LONG time it was an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, desires, depression & anxiety, and many other things. I really should start it again... make it a point to post regardless of the topic or how dull my day was (ie, playing World of Warcraft for 2/3rds of it).
It's Thanksgiving and I'm "stuck" in Alabama, four hours away from family and friends I've spent this holiday with for 23 years previous to this one. Last year I was with Eric's Dad's family, as awkward as that was. I believe, because I've blocked a lot of "Arkansas memories," that we went to my father's or mother's after that excursion. >.<
Eric's family member: "Well who is this lovely lady?"
Jess: *blushes and is speechless*
Eric's Dad: *quiet as well"
Eric: *clears throat* My good friend, Jess.
Jess: *internally cringes and sighs; outwardly smiles and extends hand* Nice to meet you.
Yes, it was VERY awkward because I was going to Thanksgiving lunch with my EX-boyfriend's family because I refused to be with MY family... *sighs* Even though I was with Joel (my current boyfriend) at the time, I wasn't able to be with him. I had previously spent a week and a half in Alabama with him previous to Thanksgiving, but came home a day before the holiday.
And come December 29th, I'll have been living here for a whole year without getting to go BACK to Arkansas to see any of my friends and family. My Mum came to visit this summer for my birthday, but it was heartbreaking to see her leave. She's as much my world as I am hers... sometimes I believe the mother/daughter roles are reversed, especially when she's really depressed and I'm the one taking care of her. But a discussion of my mother and her current state of mind needs to be dedicated to another post because of the length that would incur. Heh.
As for today:
I woke up right before seven, like I have been the two days previously. It's really aggravating, because I'll get to bed right around the time Joel leaves for work and then wake up as he's nearly walking back through the door. And while that may seem pretty convenient, it's really not. We're keeping Jonathan right now, Joel's 5yr old son, for the holidays and since Joel works third shift, it's my responsibility to watch him during "normal people hours." When we don't have Jonathan, I'm my usual Night Owl self: sleeping during the day with Joel and staying up all night while he's at work. (I'm not quite fond of being away from him for some reason, even when he's at work... it's weird. It's an emotion I've never experienced, yet he assures me I'm not clingy.)
I was still rolling my first cig of the day when he gets home and throws five packages of coffee he snagged from work.
Jess: *stares at the coffee, looks at Joel, looks back down to the coffee, then back at Joel and smiles a big grin* Holy shit! Coffee! Yay!
Joel: *looks perplexed* If I'd known I was going to get that sort of reaction out of you about coffee, I would have snagged some before today!
Jess: *a little more mellow* I like coffee... a lot. :)
So, he started brewing it for me while I finished my cig. And when the coffee was finished and I was fixing my first cup, he set up the laptop so we could watch last night's episode of Glee like we have done the last couple of Thursday mornings. He's not a "Gleek" like I am, but he still enjoys the music the perform.
Glee's episode was very good this week. They performed John Lennon's Imagine. It was beautiful, not my favorite rendition, but it was still beautiful. The harmonies were great. I'm just sad that the show is taking a several month hiatus for American Idol. >.< Oh well, it's so popular that when April comes around, the viewers will not have known it was gone for so long... I hope. Heh.
Well, Nancy (Joel's mother and the bane of my existence in Alabama) just called to tell me she was picking Jonathan up. That's great, I'll get some time to clean with no interruption but I told her to have him back between 5 and 530, in time for our (Joel, Jonathan and myself) Thanksgiving thing before the family stuff tomorrow. She didn't seem too keen on it, but you know what? He's not her son, he's her GRANDson, and when Joel lays down the restrictions, she better adhere to them (which she never does, then calls us bad parents... also a whole other post will more than likely be dedicated to this subject as well).
So now I'm going to go get him ready to leave and start another load of laundry because the one in the washer is done. :)
Happy Thanksgiving, LJ-ers. Hope it's great.
Tell me what you're thankful for ...?
This year it's a small list but still important... I'm thankful for Joel, his son, Jonathan, my mother, my bestfriend/sister, Stacy... I'm thankful I have a job when a lot of people don't. I'm thankful we have a roof over our head and food in the fridge, even thought it may not be much, it's still there. I'm thankful for the few friends I do have in Alabama that make my stay here a little more bearable. And I'm thankful that I'm still alive and well, despite the things I've been through in the past. :)
Happy Thanksgiving again, folks. I hope the turkey is good and you nap well because of it. XD
I realize that I've had this journal since December of 2001 and for a LONG time it was an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, desires, depression & anxiety, and many other things. I really should start it again... make it a point to post regardless of the topic or how dull my day was (ie, playing World of Warcraft for 2/3rds of it).
It's Thanksgiving and I'm "stuck" in Alabama, four hours away from family and friends I've spent this holiday with for 23 years previous to this one. Last year I was with Eric's Dad's family, as awkward as that was. I believe, because I've blocked a lot of "Arkansas memories," that we went to my father's or mother's after that excursion. >.<
Eric's family member: "Well who is this lovely lady?"
Jess: *blushes and is speechless*
Eric's Dad: *quiet as well"
Eric: *clears throat* My good friend, Jess.
Jess: *internally cringes and sighs; outwardly smiles and extends hand* Nice to meet you.
Yes, it was VERY awkward because I was going to Thanksgiving lunch with my EX-boyfriend's family because I refused to be with MY family... *sighs* Even though I was with Joel (my current boyfriend) at the time, I wasn't able to be with him. I had previously spent a week and a half in Alabama with him previous to Thanksgiving, but came home a day before the holiday.
And come December 29th, I'll have been living here for a whole year without getting to go BACK to Arkansas to see any of my friends and family. My Mum came to visit this summer for my birthday, but it was heartbreaking to see her leave. She's as much my world as I am hers... sometimes I believe the mother/daughter roles are reversed, especially when she's really depressed and I'm the one taking care of her. But a discussion of my mother and her current state of mind needs to be dedicated to another post because of the length that would incur. Heh.
As for today:
I woke up right before seven, like I have been the two days previously. It's really aggravating, because I'll get to bed right around the time Joel leaves for work and then wake up as he's nearly walking back through the door. And while that may seem pretty convenient, it's really not. We're keeping Jonathan right now, Joel's 5yr old son, for the holidays and since Joel works third shift, it's my responsibility to watch him during "normal people hours." When we don't have Jonathan, I'm my usual Night Owl self: sleeping during the day with Joel and staying up all night while he's at work. (I'm not quite fond of being away from him for some reason, even when he's at work... it's weird. It's an emotion I've never experienced, yet he assures me I'm not clingy.)
I was still rolling my first cig of the day when he gets home and throws five packages of coffee he snagged from work.
Jess: *stares at the coffee, looks at Joel, looks back down to the coffee, then back at Joel and smiles a big grin* Holy shit! Coffee! Yay!
Joel: *looks perplexed* If I'd known I was going to get that sort of reaction out of you about coffee, I would have snagged some before today!
Jess: *a little more mellow* I like coffee... a lot. :)
So, he started brewing it for me while I finished my cig. And when the coffee was finished and I was fixing my first cup, he set up the laptop so we could watch last night's episode of Glee like we have done the last couple of Thursday mornings. He's not a "Gleek" like I am, but he still enjoys the music the perform.
Glee's episode was very good this week. They performed John Lennon's Imagine. It was beautiful, not my favorite rendition, but it was still beautiful. The harmonies were great. I'm just sad that the show is taking a several month hiatus for American Idol. >.< Oh well, it's so popular that when April comes around, the viewers will not have known it was gone for so long... I hope. Heh.
Well, Nancy (Joel's mother and the bane of my existence in Alabama) just called to tell me she was picking Jonathan up. That's great, I'll get some time to clean with no interruption but I told her to have him back between 5 and 530, in time for our (Joel, Jonathan and myself) Thanksgiving thing before the family stuff tomorrow. She didn't seem too keen on it, but you know what? He's not her son, he's her GRANDson, and when Joel lays down the restrictions, she better adhere to them (which she never does, then calls us bad parents... also a whole other post will more than likely be dedicated to this subject as well).
So now I'm going to go get him ready to leave and start another load of laundry because the one in the washer is done. :)
Happy Thanksgiving, LJ-ers. Hope it's great.
Tell me what you're thankful for ...?
This year it's a small list but still important... I'm thankful for Joel, his son, Jonathan, my mother, my bestfriend/sister, Stacy... I'm thankful I have a job when a lot of people don't. I'm thankful we have a roof over our head and food in the fridge, even thought it may not be much, it's still there. I'm thankful for the few friends I do have in Alabama that make my stay here a little more bearable. And I'm thankful that I'm still alive and well, despite the things I've been through in the past. :)
Happy Thanksgiving again, folks. I hope the turkey is good and you nap well because of it. XD