that left out feeling.
Long, long, long. A long time and a short time. Fast fast, then waiting for the minutes to pass.
New york was enjoyable last weekend. I sometimes have a hard time when both my sisters are home...or we're all together I guess. There's this wonderful part I couldn't try to explain, but also the feeling that I think we all have - the tendency to revert to the people we were when we left each other. So I'm thirteen, struggling with myself and the world, hating everyone and being antisocial. not a happy place to be, especially around the best sisters ever. When we got off the train in Penn Station there were people everywhere, of course. But there was this...energy. Rushing and yelling, everyone dressed in green, some with green antennas or umbrellas. It was hard to focus on staying with Margaret and Genevieve with so much chaos going on around me. I was reminded, so strongly, of Harry Potter's treck to the World Cup: Ireland vs. Bulgaria. Except....i guess no one was cheering for Bulgaria.
Columbia, when I finally got there, was a spectacle. Big, looming, impressive, foreign, exciting. I guess I was disappointed because I wanted this trip to decide something for me, anything really. But it didn't. I'm just left with the thought that i really have no idea where I want to be, no clear idea of what i want to do, or even what my real passions are. "you have to be passionate about something, emma. When do you get the most excited?" I couldn't bring myself to tell my grandmother, the queen of highly educated society, that playing whiffleball is often the highlight of my day. I'm supposed to update her on my trip. What do I say? '....yup, that's right. I'm exactly where i was before. Not being able to decide between the expensive unknown or free homefries.' oh, I thought i was homefree. homely.
John Wesley is back. It's kind of weird. Mom was searching through a pile of trash in some back alley (looking for ebay boxes) and found him crawling through the same pile. He's kind of mean now. Gen took him to the vet; he's been spayed or neutered (please) and had his shots updated. Mom put it nicely when she said "gen finally figured out how to keep a man: drug him, cut off his balls, and lock him in your room." I went to see him at the cottage. We slowly got used to each other again. He ended up purring in my lap, but not without painstaking efforts not to piss off or rush him. There was one biting attempt. So that's that. I guess I sorta feel like we broke up...to continue the "john wesley is my boyfriend" story...and now that he's back - it's totally weird. I don't know.
Come into the picture?
EMMA
New york was enjoyable last weekend. I sometimes have a hard time when both my sisters are home...or we're all together I guess. There's this wonderful part I couldn't try to explain, but also the feeling that I think we all have - the tendency to revert to the people we were when we left each other. So I'm thirteen, struggling with myself and the world, hating everyone and being antisocial. not a happy place to be, especially around the best sisters ever. When we got off the train in Penn Station there were people everywhere, of course. But there was this...energy. Rushing and yelling, everyone dressed in green, some with green antennas or umbrellas. It was hard to focus on staying with Margaret and Genevieve with so much chaos going on around me. I was reminded, so strongly, of Harry Potter's treck to the World Cup: Ireland vs. Bulgaria. Except....i guess no one was cheering for Bulgaria.
Columbia, when I finally got there, was a spectacle. Big, looming, impressive, foreign, exciting. I guess I was disappointed because I wanted this trip to decide something for me, anything really. But it didn't. I'm just left with the thought that i really have no idea where I want to be, no clear idea of what i want to do, or even what my real passions are. "you have to be passionate about something, emma. When do you get the most excited?" I couldn't bring myself to tell my grandmother, the queen of highly educated society, that playing whiffleball is often the highlight of my day. I'm supposed to update her on my trip. What do I say? '....yup, that's right. I'm exactly where i was before. Not being able to decide between the expensive unknown or free homefries.' oh, I thought i was homefree. homely.
John Wesley is back. It's kind of weird. Mom was searching through a pile of trash in some back alley (looking for ebay boxes) and found him crawling through the same pile. He's kind of mean now. Gen took him to the vet; he's been spayed or neutered (please) and had his shots updated. Mom put it nicely when she said "gen finally figured out how to keep a man: drug him, cut off his balls, and lock him in your room." I went to see him at the cottage. We slowly got used to each other again. He ended up purring in my lap, but not without painstaking efforts not to piss off or rush him. There was one biting attempt. So that's that. I guess I sorta feel like we broke up...to continue the "john wesley is my boyfriend" story...and now that he's back - it's totally weird. I don't know.
Come into the picture?
EMMA