i've been thinking a lot...
Well, I have doing a lot of thinking lately about my life. Avout the things that hvae happened in the past and where I am now. I guess whae I am trying to say is, that I am really not the same way that I use to be (I mean I am glad that I have changed, it's just I still really miss someone). I am talking about Robbie, my ex~boyfriend. He was the first guy that I really, really ever loved. I still am not over him, it has been two months ago now since we broke up. Even though, I ahve been in school and have been busy doing that and working out. I still at noght always think about him, even in my dreams, I still see him. He is still in my heart and I still pray for him and for the day to come when we will be together again. I am really still hurting inside and everyday I wake up and have to hide how i really feel. I mean, I act like I am strong, but really I am not. There are some days that are better than others, but then there are those, like today and this weekend, that I relly start to get upset and emotional. I still have all these feelings for him, they really have not gone away. That is how I know that I really did love him. He was everything that I have always wanted and ever wanted and always dreamed of. I know that it is not good for me to be stuck on him, but it's just so hard to let go. I don't want to yet, either. I still want to believe that he will come back to me and that we will be together forever. I guess I am a hopeless romantic, but really I want to believe that he will come back and that he is the one for me. Because there is no one else that I want to be with more than him. I dont care if it takes a lifetime for him to come back to me, I will wait for him as long as it takes. I know I have said that I am not going to wait for him but I didnt mean it then. He is the only person that I love and want to be with and it hurts me that we arent together right now. I still believe that one day he will come back and tell me that he wants to be with me forever. I have to believe that, because it is the only thing that keeps me from hurting more than I already do. I keep on praying about it every day and night. I hope that God will answer my prayers, and that I will be happy again. I hope that that one day this will come true and I will not hurt anymore.