I really don't even want to look at how long it's been...
Oh god, all the nostalgia buttons this is hitting even OPENING LIVEJOURNAL, fuck.
HELLO, ANYONE WHO IS STILL HERE. I am going to try to make an actual effort to start writing in here again, even if it's just to myself. Many many things have happened since I last posted, even though not a whole lot has changed. What I want to talk about today is Scotland.
Because I'm going back! I'll be there at least two weeks this summer, and then another week in lower England traveling around, and I woke up this morning kind of overwhelmed by how much I've changed since I studied abroad there in '09-'10. I mean, it shouldn't be such a wonder, because it was FOUR YEARS AGO FUCK but it still feels HUGE and impossible and frankly almost terrifying.
Before I left I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't push myself too hard, and while I still think that was the right call (I was really, really so much worse with social anxiety than I am now (which is still not great, but at least I no longer need a peptalk from my mom before I can ask a storeperson about an ipod))--I did miss out on some things. Probably a lot more than I knew, but I never once felt like I wasn't enjoying myself, or not living to my fullest potential or whatever. I read a lot of fic, spent a lot of time in my room, and still enjoyed the hell out of Scotland and the people I met there.
I learned not to hang out with people who didn't want to hang out with me. I learned (slowly, painfully) how to hold a conversation, how to be easy with myself and trust that would be enough to make friends. I learned how to travel with people I barely knew. I learned how to travel on my own. On one of my last days in Scotland I went to see The Losers by myself, and it was great, I learned so much about myself in Scotland, and I'm still learning, and it's awesome.
So. Things I want to do upon my return:
HELLO, ANYONE WHO IS STILL HERE. I am going to try to make an actual effort to start writing in here again, even if it's just to myself. Many many things have happened since I last posted, even though not a whole lot has changed. What I want to talk about today is Scotland.
Because I'm going back! I'll be there at least two weeks this summer, and then another week in lower England traveling around, and I woke up this morning kind of overwhelmed by how much I've changed since I studied abroad there in '09-'10. I mean, it shouldn't be such a wonder, because it was FOUR YEARS AGO FUCK but it still feels HUGE and impossible and frankly almost terrifying.
Before I left I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't push myself too hard, and while I still think that was the right call (I was really, really so much worse with social anxiety than I am now (which is still not great, but at least I no longer need a peptalk from my mom before I can ask a storeperson about an ipod))--I did miss out on some things. Probably a lot more than I knew, but I never once felt like I wasn't enjoying myself, or not living to my fullest potential or whatever. I read a lot of fic, spent a lot of time in my room, and still enjoyed the hell out of Scotland and the people I met there.
I learned not to hang out with people who didn't want to hang out with me. I learned (slowly, painfully) how to hold a conversation, how to be easy with myself and trust that would be enough to make friends. I learned how to travel with people I barely knew. I learned how to travel on my own. On one of my last days in Scotland I went to see The Losers by myself, and it was great, I learned so much about myself in Scotland, and I'm still learning, and it's awesome.
So. Things I want to do upon my return:
- Do a ghost tour of the prison in Stirling. (I tried once around Halloween and got lost with a friend and missed the tour, and this was doubly shitty because she'd been sick and almost hadn't come in the first place.)
- Go to that haunted bar in Stirling.
- There's a scone and tea place under the old tower and I only found it my last few weeks there--why couldn't I have lived there always?
- Check out Whistlebinkies, if it's still around. Drink cider in the Old Thistle pub next door and see if it still makes your face numb after two pints.
- Go to Doune castle, where they filmed Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I kept talking myself out of it last time because it involved catching a bus I'd never been on and i was terrified I'd be stranded in Doune.
- Walk up the million steps on the big wide close in Edinburgh. Dance on Prince street. Strut down the royal mile. Hope that all the street bagpipists take the time to tune.
- Mary King's close ghost walk was lame, find a better one. You've done the south bridges close tour twice now, miraculously with the same guide. Maybe a haunted pub crawl?
- (p.s. when in london take the jack the ripper tour that canceled on you last minute, the bastards.)
- IF SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING TO YOU, AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, ASK THEM TO SPEAK SLOWLY BECAUSE YOU'RE A DUMB AMERICAN. It's much better than that time you smiled and nodded and ran away from the cute boy who then wound up talking to your mom.
- Be brave. Who gives a fuck if you get lost? I mean, granted, you'll still be traveling with your parents and brother so there's a support system, but you're also a GROWN ASS ADULT, FAR MORE CONFIDENT AND CAPABLE THAN YOU WERE.