sometimes i write words
Last night on tumblr I took requests for pairings-plus-AU-situations, and here for your reading and enjoyment, are the fruits of my loins labors. Definitely labors. I woke up at five this morning for no reason, guys. :(
These were all supposed to be three lines long. You will notice that this is never. ever. the case.
Avengers - Clint/Natasha - Victorian England AU (hahaha like i know anything about history)
It is common enough knowledge that any lady of good breeding and character must be in wont of an archer. That Lady Natasha was perfectly capable of protecting herself seemed to matter very little; ‘No,’ her father said, ‘I would not dare your safety for the world. Come Sunday next the traders will be in London and you may have your pic of the lot.’
Hawaii Five-Oh - Danny/Steve - Danny works in an art gallery, Steve is an art theif
“Steven,” Danny growls, flashlight tracing over the curve of skin-tight black clothing down to the telling pair of beige combat boots, “We have to stop meeting like this.”
The smile is blinding through the ‘O’ of the ski mask, cheeky and sweet all at once. “I was stealing it for you? If that helps.”
“It really, really doesn’t,” Danny sighs, and goes to get his boyfriend untangled from the belaying ropes.
Avengers - Steve/Tony - Barista!AU
“Why do you always pick this place?” Roadie demands, bitchy this early without coffee. “The guy never gets your order right, he keeps spilling stuff and, and oh, god, that’s it, isn’t it? You think his clumsy is somehow cute.”
“This coffee’s on him,” Tony tells the barista-is that feminine? is there a masculine word for barista? Baristo, maybe, he’ll ask Pepper-as he leans forward on the counter to block Roadie from view. “Literally, if he doesn’t shut up.”
The guys smiles-Steve, his name tag says Steve, such a good, strong, solid name-and fumbles a paper cup across the counter with a blush. It’s so, so sweet, Tony rests his chin on his hands and makes heart-eyes unabashedly, Roadie’s complaining fading into background noise as Steve laughs a little and says, “You want a venti Americano. Right?”
“Oh,” says Tony, “You have no idea.”
Avengers - Steve/Tony - Actor!verse
Tony doesn’t really like the guy they hired to play Captain America, but the cool thing about being an actor is-he doesn’t have to like him, this blond-haired blue-eyed gigantic wonderboy who fell out of a Calvin Klein underwear ad and left what little brains he might’ve once possessed stuck in the magazine gloss. All Tony has to do is show up on set within five-ish minutes of his call time, with his lines mostly memorized (or at least ad-lib-able) and his movie star sunglasses on to hide the hungover circles under his eyes until makeup can panstick those babies away. Tony does not actually care.
But Steve-oh, Steve-Steve does care. Steve cares a whole lot. About P.A.s and schedules and actor integrity and line faithfulness and at one point Tony is pretty sure he overhears Steve tell an aid, “No, it’s okay, I’ll get my own water,” and the poor girl looks like she wants to cry.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Tony says, sidling up to them, “you could get me a coffee, if you wanted. Black, no frills, I’ll take it easy on you.” He winks, and she looks torn between being annoyed at the ‘sweetheart’ and grateful that she now has something to do besides trail after Steve and hope he lets her help him.
Steve is glaring at Tony when he turns back-alright, maybe ‘glare’ is a strong word, but ‘fierce justice’ looks good on the guy. “Howdy,” Tony smirks, safe behind his sunglasses.
“You shouldn’t treat her like a servant,” Steve says, and Tony almost has to laugh at the directness of it. he expected a little sidestepping, though now he isn’t sure why.
“Uh, no, I should, because that’s how movie sets work,” Tony shrugs. “Also, I’ve been trained by my agent, Pepper Potts, to believe in hollywood hierarchy. She’s at the top of the food chain. Everything after her gets a little bit nebulous, to be honest, but I’m pretty sure I’m above a set go-fer.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t treat her with respect,” Steve counters, blue eyes flashing.
“Hey, I respect her. I respect the hell out of every living thing, just ask my hook-ups, okay.” The problem with being a genius is that sometimes Tony’s mouth says things before his brain can vet them, and oh, right about now is when he should shut up. “I’m never around in the morning to show them any disrespect.”
Wow. Just. …Wow.
“Are you drunk?” Steve demands, increasingly incredulous.
“No,” Tony sighs, “But I’d like to be.”
Suits - Mike/Harvey - Shapeshifter!AU
Thing is, when Harvey says Mike could be anyone he wanted to, he has no idea how true that is.
Mike mostly sticks to this shape because it’s comfortable, plain enough but cleans up nice, young, unassuming. It belonged to a genius law student in London who died in a train wreck a day after Mike copied him-this dead boy’s brain is the reason Mike knows so much about law but never uses it, or never used it before Harvey. When he stumbles into the middle of Harvey’s interviews, he’s just looking for a place to shift into the janitor and escape.
Shifters are by and large the deadbeats of supernatural critters; until they go off the deep end and/or piss off a hunter, they don’t do much besides keep their heads down and try to live. Mike could disappear in an instant, take Trevor’s weed and Jenny’s shape and be gone before Harvey knew what hit him.
But there’s something about Harvey. Something that says when he looks at Mike, he’s looking beneath the skin. And not seeing a monster.
Something that makes Mike stick around, just to see how this plays out.
White Collar - Neal/Peter/El - werewolf!AU
Neal as a wolf is nothing but sleek black fur and puppy limbs, angles filled out a little from when Peter first saw the change after prison. Neal’s big blue eyes are eerily the same, and he’s self-assured in his skin as ever, prancing along at Peter’s side while they work a case, cozying up to El while she’s cooking to lean his head casually against her hip, if she just happens to have any scraps.
He even won over Satchmo, so much so that during this time of the month the two of them will curl up together on the floor by the couch while Peter and El watch the news. “The dog is dumber than he looks,” Peter mutters fondly, “letting a wolf get so close when he’s vulnerable.”
Neal lifts his head, ears pricked forward, but El leans forward and scratches him under the chin. “He just misses you, is all,” she promises, and Neal’s tongue lolls out while Peter rolls his eyes and lies and says, “That’s not true, don’t listen to her.”
“Uh,” he amends when El and Neal both give him the eye, “I mean listen to her at all times, because she’s always right.”
“Good boy,” El says, and combs her fingers through his hair.
ALL OF THESE ARE UP FOR GRABS AS PLOTBUNNIES AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. I literally do not have time to flesh them out as much as I want to. ;_____;
These were all supposed to be three lines long. You will notice that this is never. ever. the case.
Avengers - Clint/Natasha - Victorian England AU (hahaha like i know anything about history)
It is common enough knowledge that any lady of good breeding and character must be in wont of an archer. That Lady Natasha was perfectly capable of protecting herself seemed to matter very little; ‘No,’ her father said, ‘I would not dare your safety for the world. Come Sunday next the traders will be in London and you may have your pic of the lot.’
Hawaii Five-Oh - Danny/Steve - Danny works in an art gallery, Steve is an art theif
“Steven,” Danny growls, flashlight tracing over the curve of skin-tight black clothing down to the telling pair of beige combat boots, “We have to stop meeting like this.”
The smile is blinding through the ‘O’ of the ski mask, cheeky and sweet all at once. “I was stealing it for you? If that helps.”
“It really, really doesn’t,” Danny sighs, and goes to get his boyfriend untangled from the belaying ropes.
Avengers - Steve/Tony - Barista!AU
“Why do you always pick this place?” Roadie demands, bitchy this early without coffee. “The guy never gets your order right, he keeps spilling stuff and, and oh, god, that’s it, isn’t it? You think his clumsy is somehow cute.”
“This coffee’s on him,” Tony tells the barista-is that feminine? is there a masculine word for barista? Baristo, maybe, he’ll ask Pepper-as he leans forward on the counter to block Roadie from view. “Literally, if he doesn’t shut up.”
The guys smiles-Steve, his name tag says Steve, such a good, strong, solid name-and fumbles a paper cup across the counter with a blush. It’s so, so sweet, Tony rests his chin on his hands and makes heart-eyes unabashedly, Roadie’s complaining fading into background noise as Steve laughs a little and says, “You want a venti Americano. Right?”
“Oh,” says Tony, “You have no idea.”
Avengers - Steve/Tony - Actor!verse
Tony doesn’t really like the guy they hired to play Captain America, but the cool thing about being an actor is-he doesn’t have to like him, this blond-haired blue-eyed gigantic wonderboy who fell out of a Calvin Klein underwear ad and left what little brains he might’ve once possessed stuck in the magazine gloss. All Tony has to do is show up on set within five-ish minutes of his call time, with his lines mostly memorized (or at least ad-lib-able) and his movie star sunglasses on to hide the hungover circles under his eyes until makeup can panstick those babies away. Tony does not actually care.
But Steve-oh, Steve-Steve does care. Steve cares a whole lot. About P.A.s and schedules and actor integrity and line faithfulness and at one point Tony is pretty sure he overhears Steve tell an aid, “No, it’s okay, I’ll get my own water,” and the poor girl looks like she wants to cry.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Tony says, sidling up to them, “you could get me a coffee, if you wanted. Black, no frills, I’ll take it easy on you.” He winks, and she looks torn between being annoyed at the ‘sweetheart’ and grateful that she now has something to do besides trail after Steve and hope he lets her help him.
Steve is glaring at Tony when he turns back-alright, maybe ‘glare’ is a strong word, but ‘fierce justice’ looks good on the guy. “Howdy,” Tony smirks, safe behind his sunglasses.
“You shouldn’t treat her like a servant,” Steve says, and Tony almost has to laugh at the directness of it. he expected a little sidestepping, though now he isn’t sure why.
“Uh, no, I should, because that’s how movie sets work,” Tony shrugs. “Also, I’ve been trained by my agent, Pepper Potts, to believe in hollywood hierarchy. She’s at the top of the food chain. Everything after her gets a little bit nebulous, to be honest, but I’m pretty sure I’m above a set go-fer.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t treat her with respect,” Steve counters, blue eyes flashing.
“Hey, I respect her. I respect the hell out of every living thing, just ask my hook-ups, okay.” The problem with being a genius is that sometimes Tony’s mouth says things before his brain can vet them, and oh, right about now is when he should shut up. “I’m never around in the morning to show them any disrespect.”
Wow. Just. …Wow.
“Are you drunk?” Steve demands, increasingly incredulous.
“No,” Tony sighs, “But I’d like to be.”
Suits - Mike/Harvey - Shapeshifter!AU
Thing is, when Harvey says Mike could be anyone he wanted to, he has no idea how true that is.
Mike mostly sticks to this shape because it’s comfortable, plain enough but cleans up nice, young, unassuming. It belonged to a genius law student in London who died in a train wreck a day after Mike copied him-this dead boy’s brain is the reason Mike knows so much about law but never uses it, or never used it before Harvey. When he stumbles into the middle of Harvey’s interviews, he’s just looking for a place to shift into the janitor and escape.
Shifters are by and large the deadbeats of supernatural critters; until they go off the deep end and/or piss off a hunter, they don’t do much besides keep their heads down and try to live. Mike could disappear in an instant, take Trevor’s weed and Jenny’s shape and be gone before Harvey knew what hit him.
But there’s something about Harvey. Something that says when he looks at Mike, he’s looking beneath the skin. And not seeing a monster.
Something that makes Mike stick around, just to see how this plays out.
White Collar - Neal/Peter/El - werewolf!AU
Neal as a wolf is nothing but sleek black fur and puppy limbs, angles filled out a little from when Peter first saw the change after prison. Neal’s big blue eyes are eerily the same, and he’s self-assured in his skin as ever, prancing along at Peter’s side while they work a case, cozying up to El while she’s cooking to lean his head casually against her hip, if she just happens to have any scraps.
He even won over Satchmo, so much so that during this time of the month the two of them will curl up together on the floor by the couch while Peter and El watch the news. “The dog is dumber than he looks,” Peter mutters fondly, “letting a wolf get so close when he’s vulnerable.”
Neal lifts his head, ears pricked forward, but El leans forward and scratches him under the chin. “He just misses you, is all,” she promises, and Neal’s tongue lolls out while Peter rolls his eyes and lies and says, “That’s not true, don’t listen to her.”
“Uh,” he amends when El and Neal both give him the eye, “I mean listen to her at all times, because she’s always right.”
“Good boy,” El says, and combs her fingers through his hair.
ALL OF THESE ARE UP FOR GRABS AS PLOTBUNNIES AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. I literally do not have time to flesh them out as much as I want to. ;_____;