just as a primer, we are both stone cold sober
Me: So I heard about this drink called a Shark Tank.
Mom: Really?
Me: Yeah, it's got like--vodka and blue flavor and lemon soda and you have to serve it in a round glass, and then you put Nerds on the bottom--
Mom: Nerds?
Me: Because it looks like fish tank gravel? And then you add Swedish Fish!
Mom: WHAT?
Me: So they look like little sharks in a tank, get it?
Mom: BUT WHY?
Me: 'Cause afterwards you get to eat little vodka-soaked Swedish Fish!
Mom: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO EAT VODKA-SOAKED LUTEFISK?
Me: What? No! SWEDISH FISH.
Mom: I heard what you said! And I'm telling you right now--
Me: It's a candy! How have you never heard of Swedish Fish? You studied abroad in Sweden.
Mom: Well they must not have Swedish Fish in Sweden.
Me: ...That's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my life.